Why I Deleted the Recent Makeout Video Post • Page 25

Can we just pin @Dominick 's post for people that just can't grasp this shit?

 

Well said.

 

It's a genre that was made by black people to vent frustrations and express themselves. Granted there are absolutely exceptionally problematic rappers and hip hop artists, but for that to be the go-to "well what about this" genre very much stems from prejudice. Literally all genres have problematic artists and it's always weird to me when hip hop, the genre that's used as a platform for underprivileged minorities who are systemically oppressed, is the main punching bag

 

Yeah it definitely reads like one of those "nice guys" kind of mentalities. Like "hey I spent money on you WHY ARENT YOU IN LOVE WITH ME" which is just so juvenile. Plus the whole implication of leaking like nudes or secrets or something is so creepy.

 

The point that a lot of people are making by bringing up hip hop is that there that a lot of posters who pop up in these threads and chastise pop punk bands for misogynist attitudes, also pop up in hip hop threads and ignore those very same issues. As I said, this is deflection and doesn't address their thoughts on the content, but I don't see how it's racist. You are taking it as a sleight against hip hop when I genuinely think people are curious (at least I am) about the apparent hypocrisy of being vocal about a problem in one genre of music, but silent and forgiving of it in another.

 

I bring it up because that was me like 15 years ago. The whole "I am just so gosh darn nice to her and she won't even seeeeeee me" kind of thing. I bought into all of that nice guys finish last / "friend zone" shit.

It's toxic. And I really wish someone had laid it out to me. I hate that I needed it laid out for me. Some don't. But all I can say in my defense is that a lot of music and entertainment I consumed really fed into that narrative. Which is why something like this hits so hard for me. I know there's a version of me out there, listening to a song like this, and nodding in agreement.

 

I don't know where this narrative that everyone on this website is complicit and accepting and forgiving of misogyny in hip-hop originated, but it's weird.

 

I think everyone in this thread has been talking about how disgusting that Xxx dude is for months now. It's weird to pick a straw man that doesn't even hold up

 

This has been addressed. Over and over again.

 

It's racist to only care about hip hops issues when pop punk is called out for it. Which is what happens every time

 

I remember lurking the Lil Uzi Vert thread recently, and there was a conversation about it happening there. It happens nearly every time Kanye comes up. Same with Kendrick. It happens all the time.

 

The people who are in the hip hop threads are also criticizing it in hip hop. You just don't see it because you aren't in the hip hop threads. If you were, you'd know it's called out.

 

Being cheated feels terrible, because a trust is broken. The act itself, to me, is irrelevant. But, it is precisely because we live in a society in which a relationship to women is often conceptualized as ownership and, therefore, we've developed ways in which to police the bodies of women, that the words take the form that they do; it isn't enough to say that a woman broke your trust, they must become a "whore", who is undeserving of any sympathy so as to subtlety discipline them. We are offered no glimpses into the inner life of the woman, which might give some insight as to why what happened, happened. Then, we act as though these sexist responses are natural and, therefore, permissible. That isn't to say that one's emotions are illegitimate, but it is to say the form in which they're expressed is something that can be rendered non-toxic when we take a broader view of the way in which they're culturally determined - often to the detriment of women. This isn't easy by any means, however, aside from not contributing to patriarchal ideas that endanger women, it is far more helpful to men as well; one learns how to deal with heartache in thoroughly constructive, because one recognizes that this stuff doesn't just happen, it is rooted in material conditions that can be worked on and improved continuously.

 

The idea is, black music gets a free ride. It doesn't. It never has. In fact, it has faced much more scrutiny, not just because of the misogyny, but precisely because it reflects back the damage white supremacy causes our communities to society as whole.

 

If you are willing, would you mind elaborating on this a bit?

Because if I'm understanding you correctly, I think it is a really important point.

 

You basically just summed up what I was trying to say only much for clearly so thank you

 

My meaning is, these songs and feelings don't help us deal with our emotions. They're destructive towards both women and ourselves. For the former, it reinforces another layer of the way in which we violently discipline women. As it relates to men, we never learn to question ourselves, to think about how we might be better partners and it often results in a strange self-hatred that links up with those projections towards women, insofar as now no woman can be trustworthy. How can one truly love in this context? How can one deal with heartache in this context? If you're ignoring the broader cultural dynamics at large, as well as the interpersonal conflicts in a relationship that naturally arise, then there is no way to figure out how to be a better partner, how to deal with conflict, how to talk through problems and not let them get to the point where we act out out of the strain of ignoring the problems. We have to look at all these things, because we don't exist in a vacuum, we live in a society, as individuals, each of whom have inner lives and needs and are facing various pressures, that have an effect on our lives and the way we relate to one another. Calling women names doesn't help that, it's easy. Dealing with the aforementioned dynamics honestly helps us work through our relationships or end them amicably, but we come out of it stronger, knowing what we can handle, tactics to deal with these conflicts, being able to build and maintain trust.

 

In case this helps put it in perspective: I grew up and attended high school in a rural town in Pennsylvania. The majority of our public schools were, at best, not progressive and, at worst, flat-out ignorant of anything that didn't involve Busch Light and mudding. I can't tell you how many times I heard a white person justify using the n-word with some variation of the sentiment, "I'm not racist. There are black people and there are 'n-words.' I only use that word if they're being an 'n-word."

So why would anyone choose to use a word specifically weaponized to direct hate at someone based on their race/gender/sexuality/etc. when you can use any number of synonyms for "jerk" that don't have those hateful connotations? Why willingly align yourself with the language of bigotry unless you're a bigot?

 

So...this has to be Saphora's worst marketing campaign yet, right?

 

Aww we're done....? I thought we could go thru this a few hundred more times?!?

 

Why do people find it so difficult or think it's so bad to admit that they are wrong? Why the need to double down? Admitting you are wrong or that you can be wrong about something is a good thing, it means you can change and progress as a human being.

I am so grateful for Jason posting things like this. It was things like this that helped me change from the immature attitude I had as a teenager into a more healthy view. I was never comfortable with this kind of language, but I did connect with problematic songs when I was younger because of the whole "nice guy" "friend zone" thing. I can honestly say it's thanks to Jason and other posters on here and AP.net that changed my entire world view and helped me want to be a better person and to try and make the music scene I love...better. And it all started with admitting I was wrong about some stuff.

Anyways I suppose I'm not adding much to the conversation, but if nothing, if someone reads this and is in the mindset of "this isn't bad" or the "what about hip hop" then I urge you to at least consider the possibility that you are wrong, and be open to the other side.

 

Saw some guy on a post on facebook say he's been friends with one of them for 7 years since college... Damn this song is even worse now that I know they're not 12

 

HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE MAD AT THIS?!?!?! YOU ALL SANG WITH CHRIS AND SAID YOU WANNA TAKE A SAW TO A GIRLS THIGH AND SCOOP OUT HER BLUE EYES.
Lyrics are lyrics, in this genre everything is dramatic and embellished and said urgently with words meant to evoke emotion, you people are ruining the culture. I cant believe people are mad at that song. Do you realize what the song called 'not the american average' is about off of asking alexandrias first album? Which was heavily promoted here? You people are tripping!!!!

 

Read. The. Thread.

 

Oh, well if Asking Alexandria did it, then by all means!!!