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Why do all old statues have such small penises?

Discussion in 'Article Discussion' started by Melody Bot, May 14, 2016.

  1. Melody Bot

    Your friendly little forum bot. Staff Member

    This article has been imported from for discussion. All of the forum rules still apply.

    Ever wonder? How To Talk About Art History has the answer.

    Firstly, they’re flaccid. If you compare their size to most flaccid male penises, they are actually not significantly smaller than real-life penises tend to be.

    Secondly, cultural values about male beauty were completely different back then. Today, big penises are seen as valuable and manly, but back then, most evidence points to the fact that small penises were considered better than big ones

    The More You Know™

  2. Dirty Sanchez

    Prestigious Prestigious

  3. Yellowcard2006


    Small? I thought those statues were average.

    This is disappointing news to me.
  4. johnnyutes

    Vaya con Dios Supporter

    women would have loved me
  5. aranea

    Trusted Prestigious

    i thought this thread was by a spambot
  6. quietwords

    RIP EmoPunkKid28: 2002-2016 Prestigious

    I just "liked" comments about penises. I'm sorry if that was a creepy thing to do...
    beachdude42, pauljgreco, Raku and 4 others like this.
  7. Ryan

    Might be Spider-Man...

    They were talking about this the other day on ESPN, I died a little inside
  8. Spencer Young

    Don't ask me why.

    I mean if you take into account that David is over 20 feet tall, his penis isn't actually that small...only proportionally...

    I'll just leave this here in case anyone needs something to bandage their fragile masculinity.
    Schooner and AndrewSoup like this.
  9. kpatrickwood

    Give what you can.

  10. red8ge


    I Just Can't Stop Thinking About Statue Wang
    beachdude42, ChaseTx and Eric like this.
  11. FTank

    Prestigious Prestigious

    That's actually pretty interesting. Tbh, I can't say I've never wondered this exact thing.
    Jason Tate likes this.
  12. ReginaPhilange

    Trusted Prestigious

    another thing I didn't know.
    wow won't let me play it on here. go to 1:38
    Mr. Serotonin likes this.
  13. Behind the Barricade

    AbsoluteJunk :)
  14. rst


    I actually have wondered this. And I honestly thought it was because putting really small penises on art might make women think that smaller size was the average size and thus, guys would seem bigger. Apparently I was way off, and a big weirdo for really thinking that much into it
    Mr. Serotonin and FTank like this.
  15. FTank

    Prestigious Prestigious

    It's not terrible logic though.
  16. kidinthebushes


    Do girls know about shrinkage?
    Schooner likes this.
  17. bd007h's resident Meg Myers fan #GoSabres/Bills

  18. Fox83


  19. Schooner


    Now this is an article I signed up for!!

    I saw a statue in Florence near the fake David one where the guy was tea bagging his buddy
  20. Spencer Young

    Don't ask me why.

    When you were in Florence, did you get a chance to look at Perseus? He was right outside the Accademia to the right of the fake David.
  21. Schooner


    I just googled it. I think I may have seen it. But it doesn't appear in any photos I took. And it's very cool so I would've taken pic
    I'll post them below
  22. Schooner


    image.jpeg image.jpeg image.png
  23. withchappedlips


    Thank you for this thread. My god, I lol'd.
  24. buckcheeks


    Read this as "old statuses" the first four time and couldn't, for the life of me, figure out what it was supposed to mean.
  25. Spencer Young

    Don't ask me why.

    Love the pics. I only ask if you saw Perseus because when I was in Florence I took this picture. I dunno about you, but to me it looks like fake David is throwing some serious shade :crylaugh: