Vent Your Frustrations • Page 62

Didn’t even get an interview for my dream job so that’s coooooooool and not soul crushing at alllllllll

 

I’m realizing that the location I’m at, when someone calls off the next shift, they want you to stay and work a double because they literally have no one to cover/on call. I did NOT sign up for this and that’s not how things are suppose to work. I quit my last job because they were forcing people to stay when it’s not policy. I also hurt my back at my last job and this jobs current conditions will make me hurt my back if they make me stay

 

Just found out European wax doesn’t take off the amount of my eyebrow pass when I get full face done anymore. The associate never mentioned that to me last visit so I paid full price and asked about it. It really unfortunate because that’s like $20 difference I saved and I think I calculated the full face pass they have and I’m not really saving any money. Especially since I’m making no money now and struggle to pay bills.

 

I have to watch a kid for 9 hours tomorrow. What do I even do with it? I know I used to teach but like the day had purpose and structure and lesson plans. I have to entertain a kid for 9 hours at my tiny apt. That is a long time. We can go to the park but I get bored after like 30 minutes. That leaves 8.5 more hours!!

 

this might be a silly thing to complain about but the fact people will go into stuff that has nothing to do with a current hype movie and spoil is ridiculous.

I was looking at some twitter thread about food and I see a comment where dude is just laying out all infinity war spoilers.

I was mad and then I went a fortnite tweet and the same thing and it's just like WHY

 

What did you guys do??

 

He played a lot of Kingdom Hearts lol. But he's too little to really get it so he went around in circles a lot. Then we took the kittens I was sitting to a shelter and my sister brought my nephew down and we took them to the park. I've discovered my ps2 still enchants every kid I watch but I feel guilty for all the screen time.

 

I had a miserable day because nothing went as planned and my anxiety hates that. All my plans were ruined by late people. I'd be able to deal with late people better if they were just honest but they always act like they're closer than they are. I could've gone to the gym if my sister was upfront about how late she was going to be. Then we get dinner and they're SUCH loud talkers it pings my anxiety. Then the baby starts crying and they make no move to quiet it and when I bring up my embarrassment I get scolded because "that's what babies do" well obv but it's a quiet restaurant im sorry people are trying to eat and make conversation. My little sister has an attitude the entire time and then I have to pay for her meal. I shouldn't have gone because by the time I got home I was on the verge of tears and it's money I can't rly spare rn. Ugghh.

 

Late people is one of my pet peeves. Especially if they don’t have the decency to say they’re running late. It throws my whole schedule off

 

I'm trying to get better about coping with it because they're never going to stop being late but it does bother me when they are so late it disrupts my schedule or other plans. And they are always like idk how I'm always late!! But they're always inefficient with their time and I feel like when I point it out I just come off uptight and nagging.

When I mentioned that because they were 2 hours late I missed my window to go to the gym Which is important to me she just shrugged and said "well I was waiting for the baby to wake up" and I'm like ok. I know u can't exactly predict when a baby will wake up but she could've let me know if he had just fallen asleep, how long he usually sleeps, etc so I could plan around it. She didnt let me know she was even waiting for the baby until an hour after they were supposed to leave. But I feel like late people downplay how late they are. Like I'm gonna know you weren't on the way when u should've been here by now and don't show up for another hour... Lol i need a gif of Mike Birbiglia saying "the thing that late people don't understand about us on time people is that... we hate you."

 

Re: being late
I am a late person and the amount of anxiety I feel around it is unreal and sometimes it's hard to estimate how late you're gonna be and other times you're feeling so shitty about being late that being upfront is incredibly hard (also sometimes you're in denial about it until it's happened). a lot of chronically late people have executive dysfunction of some sort and struggle in various life realms due to our culture's strict structuring around time. also the feeling of knowing someone hates you for something that you keep finding yourself unable to control is really awful

My own frustration (unrelated): I hate people who habitually refuse to engage with other people as complex beings and always assume they are the wiser person in the conversation (especially when this assumption is in my eyes completely unfounded or based on some spurious/trivial claim to expertise)

 

i work with two people who are ALWAYS late for work. so consistently late that i don't even think they think they're late / don't even really give a reason for being late. from my understanding, they've been late every day (by the standard of "starting work at 8 am") for over a year (i've been working there for just under a year this month).

they show up anywhere from 8:15 - 9 am. they tend to blame their kids, or they were running late, or the daycare lady wanted to talk to them. blah blah blah. yesterday one of them literally said, "i have no excuse, i just didn't want to stop saying goodbye to my kids when i dropped them off at school."

the few of us who show up on time don't even begin to worry about them / text them to make sure they're okay and not in a car accident or something until around 9:30.

it's fucking ridiculous.

 

When my depression or anxiety gets bad I become later because getting out of bed is really hard so i get that reasoning, but most late ppl I know just seem to rly mismanage time and I guess I don't get that. If someone has kids there is some leeway cause u can't predict a dirty diaper or a kid running into the mud or throwing a tantrum right before u get out the door. But barring that like I know how long it takes me to get ready because I've been getting myself ready for 20 years. When someone just has to get ready and show up I struggle to understand. When I am with a late person who is running late I kinda see it. They stop and chat with people at the store, impulsively decide to grab a coffee and get stuck in a long line, sit and check random fb posts when we're supposed to be leaving, etc. They're doing all this while we were supposed to leave 45 minutes ago and I cannot comprehend it.

I guess that's just not how my brain works. I'm an uptight planner and I know that comes with its own set of faults. I also have bad anxiety around lateness and appearing rude so if I'm late because of a late person I am freaking out internally and on the verge of tears and having a meltdown. There is also probably an element around lack of control because I am completely at the mercy of the late person and have zero control over it, depending on the situation of course. I also have anxiety around the unknown and having no idea when they'll actually show up and the unpredictability is stressful. Part of that is my own issue that I need to work on and if I have plans with a late person I try to tack an extra hour onto their ETA now so I'm not stressing as bad, but the taking time from someone else element will always bother me.

 

Also, related. People make fun of me for putting everything in my phone calendar and act offended that I am "penciling them in" or something but I am reliable to a fault and never forget plans. When people flake on me because they forgot we had plans and made plans over it I'm like????? Use your calendar!!!!

 

I guess I just feel like that reasoning/framing as "taking time away from someone else" is equivalent to a person who doesn't deal with depression not understanding a lot of the patterns of thinking involved in depression and so framing it as "bumming someone else out" or something (apologies if this is a haphazard comparison, it's just the first thing that came to mind). for people with executive dysfunction, time management is something that is just inherently difficult and even when we plan things out, following that plan is difficult and trying hard to always be on time for everything and beating yourself when you don't ends up being a stress war with yourself. some people stop stressing about it, other people stress about it and still end up late all the time (me), maybe some people actually find good coping mechanisms and manage to habitually be on time. it's hard to explain why this is because our brains do work differently.

I'm not saying this trying to excuse all instances for chronic lateness, but more to offer another perspective. other people's lateness causing you anxiety is for sure real and you have every right to be upset about it. but also executive function issues are super stigmatized still and people who deal with it are still facing disadvantages in a lot of ways, and for me it's hard to separate chronic lateness from this because so many people with ED are chronically late.

 

I probably didn't mention it at all on here, but a few months ago I was very close to committing suicide. I was going through the absolute most miserable breakup possible and the holiday shopping season wore me the fuck out. I was an absolute wreck. It really wasn't until I played the game Doki Doki Literature Club and saw some of the fucked up shit in that game that everything was kind of put into perspective for me. Like, "wow this would actually hurt the people I care about if I did this". So that, on top of playing DDR more, helped me out of that rut and while I still struggled with the thoughts for a while, they did eventually subside. Sounds great, right?

Well... I'm not dealing with suicidal thoughts anymore, but I feel like I'm becoming depressed again. It's like I made it up that huge mountain and now I'm stuck. I don't feel like I'm progressing in the way that I really want to. I haven't been sleeping well at all for like a month straight and I've been trying to get my dad to set me up with a licensed nurse practitioner to help me figure it all out to no avail. I don't know what the fuck to even do.

 

No i completely appreciate another perspective and I will try to think of it when working thru my anxiety from the lateness, but it is admittedly hard for me to not see it as taking away someone's time. I dont think anyone is like muahahaha gonna take their time, but that is a natural consequence of lateness in my mind. When someone is so late we miss or nearly miss our plans and I sit around twiddling my thumbs super anxious and stressed for hours waiting to hear from them, i do feel like my time was wasted and taken. Even if we do show up eventually I am so stressed and on the verge of tears I don't enjoy the time. Or when we could've spent the day at the beach but only get an hour cause they're so late I do feel like that potential experience was taken. And I guess that's true for the late person as well but since in my mind they "caused" it it's hard not to be upset. And I will take ur words into account that it might not necessarily be there fault for "causing" it but I guess part of me will just never get it because it's so opposite of my brain and I feel like 90% of ppl I know are late ppl and I'm like ok come on. But the thought that both ppl on each side of the coin are just gonna end up being anxious and stressed and miserable as a result of it is a bummer.

 

I’m right there with you @Kiana. It’s hard for me to not see being late as disrespectful. Even if it’s not intended to BE disrespectful...it is. It’s one thing to run late it’s another thing to leave people hanging without explanation and that’s just so rude. I know how difficult it can be to explain yourself (I’ve had to cancel many a plans over anxiety/depression) BUT I also feel like that’s being an adult/decent person is putting on your big girl panties and doing the right thing and letting them know.

 

I think of it as disrespectful too but im trying to learn not to take it so hard also. I feel like for years I never said a word and just stewed in frustration silently and I felt taken advantage of so I started lashing out to late people in my life and I don't necessarily think that's the answer either but I don't know what the right response is. I sometimes lie about the time something starts so they're on time, try not to put myself in situations where i rely on them for something timely, try to expect them to be late so I don't stress, etc but idk. I don't have a car rn so I'm more reliant on late people than ever and I'm struggling with it. Today I have plans with a late person and I've tried to brace myself that her lateness is a likely possibility and to just go with the flow And have no expectations for how the day is going to go, but it's going to be a struggle.

 

I have a lot of late people in my family and it drives me crazy, like once in a while and I flaky and do I wind up being a couple minutes late yeah of course but it's rude if someone does it constantly, and it's not like the 15 minutes or half hour I wait for someone to get ready is that important to me but I hate that it's like wait wait wait then all of a sudden it's like we have to go right now

 

I was five hours late to a Christmas party and my friends still give me shit about it so I think you all know what side of this I'm on. I'm chronically late but I think I've gotten better about it. I can count the number of times I've been late to work on one hand but I set myself a routine in order to make that happen and most social events aren't really that. honestly, thinking about the future has given me anxiety from a pretty young age, and it got to the point where I just wouldn't even plan ahead more than a day or two when I was in high school and shit and the lateness was kind of an extension of that.

 

Oh I've definitely been late to work like... every day lol but it was a job where I'd flex and stay later and nobody had to cover for me or anything so I didn't make anyone's life harder. I'm normally v timely but that place wore me down lol

 

Last night I went to a friends house for a going away party and she made a comment like “oh Amber likes to have her boobs be the uninvited guest to the party” and I’m like??? It lowkey made me really salty bc I’m sorry my boobs are huge and there’s no hiding them. ANY neckline besides a T-shirt or turtleneck shows cleavage. Not only that but high necked shirts are very uncomfortable when you have a large chest.
And what really made me mad is that I never even hang out with this girl and literally the last time I did, I wore a high neck shirt.
Like what do you want me to do with them? They cannot be hidden sorry not sorry

 

is she perhaps a Puritan?

 

No lol she considers herself progressive ish so it is honestly confusing and honestly frustrating.
What do you care what I wear!!