Immediate family and spouse/gf. The people where you feel comfortable being a bit rude. If I am out with my wife and parents, I won't really think twice about taking the last of an appetizer if it has been sitting there. If I am in mixed company, I will not take the last app.
Putting aside the "rude" connotation, generally I feel the right move is to ask if it's the last piece of something. Interesting that you only give yourself the options of taking it or not. You never ask for anything?
I will say something like "someone take this last piece". I know my wife and parents enough to know that they will never take the last piece, so I will take it.
So you never ask if you can have it, but you ask everyone else first and then take it if they don't? Seems kind of roundabout.
That is correct. It would be weird and awkward if I asked for permission to take the last appetizer. Instead, I (or someone else will) offer it to the table. If no one wants it, I will take it if I want it. Sometimes no one takes it.
If I ask someone if I can have the last appetizer, they have every right to ask if they can have it instead, and I can concede that to them, and it's honest. But to offer it to people unprompted because I want them to say no and therefore not feel any weird guilt for taking it feels dishonest and also promotes the possibility someone will take it that might not have taken it if I hadn't offered. Like, this isn't 4D chess here. Why can't people just be honest about what they want? Why does it have to get weird?
I’m trying to play out the scenario in my head and having a small panic attack. “Could I have the last calamari?” “Actually do you mind if I have it?” The hair on my arms is standing up and my stomach is in knots
When you split an appetizer or if it a shared dish, you should eat your share. If other people appear to be full (and if they don't straight up offer), then you can ask if you can have the last of it. You aren't trying to be sneaky or underhanded, you are just being polite. It is better for someone to eat it then to throw it out.
If you have 10 wings and 4/6 people, the move is to eat 2 wings faster than at least some of the people at the table and then you don’t need to be the person to worry about taking the last one.
You never order a large amount of wings as a group meal? It is usually cheaper to get say 50 wings than five orders of ten.
I am all for over ordering wings depending on the group. Sometimes no one seems interested so I get one order and then everyone takes one. In that case, survival of the fittest
I'm so confused. I'm saying you are allowed to ask directly, point-black, no roundabout underhanded schemes, if you can take the last appetizer. Is this an inconceivable idea? You've said you've never been in that situation so I don't know what you're panicking about. Do you think you'll end up dueling to the death with knives if you don't concede?
We are really splitting hairs here. "Can I have the last garlic knot?" and "are you going to have the last one?" are essentially the same thing.