Tiny Things That Annoy You • Page 32

fuckin nerd

 

jk

 

Oh duh, I did not see that!

 

I got a goldfish once and I couldn't decide if I wanted to name it Refrigerator or Helicopter, so I named it Refrigeratorcopter. I was a teenager, ha.

 

that's a great story lmao

 

My girlfriend wanted to name our dog after something music related, so she started going through her CDs and naming the bands out loud. The dog barked at a Mazzy Star record lol. So now her name is Mazzy

 

well honey, I guess our dog is now named The Dave Matthews Band. fuck!

 

Excuse me what’s the return policy on this dog? I don’t like it’s name

 

*sorry, that SSN doesn't match our records, please call this number*

- calls number -

*before we can begin, please enter your SNN*

"umm k" *enters SSN*

*sorry, that SSN doesn't match our records. goodbye"

 

when people say wreck havoc instead of wreak havoc

 

"congrats you have been awarded financial aid!"

...i never applied for financial aid and haven't logged into that account in five years... uhh, please cancel. do not want.

"our records don't show you received anything"

...i'm looking at a text message that says yes, along with my fucking account screen on your website that says, HERE'S MONEY.

"please hold"

 

Zits

 

When I was a teen I thought when I just hit a magical age they'd go away. That's not a thing!!

 

fucking sunburn. i guess "outside" didn't appreciate me switching teams today

 

more car stuff: gd hondas and their shitty sounds

 

I keep forgetting to make cold brew so I'm stuck having hot coffee again

 

The space between the seat and the center console.

pretty sure there’s a group of engineering assholes at all car companies that make sure it’s wide enough to drop shit down but not wide enough to get your hand / fingers down and out without (minimally) scraping up your knuckles / damaging what you’re trying to pick up

 

When you pick up a cup and think it’s empty but it’s not and the liquid goes everywhere

 

If there is a spoon laying face up in the sink, it will somehow always be perfectly positioned so that the water from the faucet will hit it and cause water to fly everywhere

 

when the resin gets you higher than the weed

 

rough day in the kitchen huh?

 

It’s like the three stooges over here except I am all of the stooges

 

Thank you for this, hardest I’ve laughed all day