The Parenting Thread • Page 194

Performed by Descendents?

 

My wife took our daughter to that. I still have no idea what it is.

 

So did everyone have a nice summer?! El Nino is back in school, loves his new teacher already, doesn't have many friends in his class this year but a good opportunity to make more, right? Highlights of the summer include: lots of kayaking and biking, did a week long joint vacation in the Outer Banks with his dad's family and mine. Everyone (the adults.. me mostly) ended up getting along surprisingly well and little dude was able to get in some good cousin hangs. He also got to have lots of friend hangs as well as chill time. Overall, great summer!

 

As always, summer flew by. My oldest plays travel baseball so from mid-April through mid-July that pretty much consumed our lives and then my daughter also played rec softball so quite literally, we were at a baseball/softball field pretty much 6-7 days a week for a good three months.

No huge vacation this summer. The last few summers, we did a week-long stay in Hilton Head with my parents and my sisters and their kids but we had to take a break from that this summer. Just too much, too long and honestly, way too far.

We did a short weekend trip to a lodge in Ohio a few hours away from where we live. We do that every summer with three or four other couples and their kids. That has become the highlight of our summer every year.

Now we're onto travel soccer, fall softball and dance. Every night, it's something.

 

In San Antonio summer doesn't end until like October (weather-wise)

 

Oh jeez, that sounds super busy! But awesome to see a supportive parent :) But for real, when my son has more than 2 extracurriculars during the week it wears me out so all the power to you and your partner for keeping it up!!

Glad you all had a good, albeit busy, summer!

 

So our daughter is 3.5 and my wife is like, ready to be pregnant again lol

After we had our daughter we both thought we were 1 and done. However as the years went by baby fever slowly struck my wife and now she's full on ready for another one. I, however, am not quite there. We're not exactly killing it financially so adding another kid to the mix seems tenuous. Plus, obviously it's a lot of work. I do however get 4 months paid leave for reference.

For those of you who have two kids, was there a turning point for you that made you realize you were ready? Or was it simply vibes based lol

 

Good summer. Camping, Lego land, Disney land and we just got back from Arizona. Boys had a blast

 

The end of summer has always given me seasonal depression but it’s way worse now with kids. I get so sad when it’s over and they have to go back to school. I hate not having them home with me. I work from home and the house just suddenly gets so quiet and lonely without them. I’ll adjust again in time, but for now I just really miss them. I always hated those back to school commercials when I was a kid in the 90s and they had parents, like, dancing to “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” in the aisles of the stores while they’re shopping for school supplies because it felt so cynical and mean and I still feel that way. I get being exhausted and all that, but I literally hate when they go back to school. Feels like my son and daughter just ran off the bus and into my arms on their last day of school and they were so excited and happy and now somehow it’s already over. I don’t know where the time went.

We had a great summer though. Took them to waterparks and playgrounds and indoor playgrounds and the beach, etc. and then we took a family vacation to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee so we could take them to Dollywood, which was a total blast. My son especially just did not want to leave and it broke my heart how sad he was when the time came to pack up and go. Reminded me so much of how I was when I was a kid. On the way home, as we were exiting the state and passing the sign, I heard this very quiet, somber, “bye, Tennessee” from behind my seat and it made me want to cry. They’re such sweet kids. My wife and I took them to Michigan’s Adventure this past weekend just so we could get one more fun little rollercoaster trip in with them before going back to school and that was a great time too.

And now I’m back here in the quiet house again thinking about how much I’m looking forward to the next summer vacation, but also how it’ll be tinged with some sadness because it means they’ll be another year older and won’t be the kids they are right now. Next summer my son will be looking ahead to fifth grade, his final year in elementary school, and I don’t know how that happened either. He’ll be ten next month and I just keep thinking about how his childhood is already almost over and I don’t know where the time went and then I’m questioning whether or not I’ve done enough for him. Did I give him the great childhood he deserves? How is it almost gone? To those of you with younger kids in here, god, hold on tight. It’ll slip through your fingers.

 

My son just started 5th grade so i'm right there with you on all of this. The transition into fall always puts me in a weird mood too. But all I'll say regarding the bolded text, is that the fact this is something that you think about and worry about shows that you're doing it right. So many parents don't thank about that and it's heartbreaking for this kids. Hang in there friend!!

 

Social media videos have replaced those shitty commercials with moms celebrating their kids going back to school. My wife and I are bummed too. I don't want to judge, but the fact that these get pushed at this time of year makes me think a lot of people just don't like their kids.

 

Our plan was always two, but my wife was definitely ready for the second before I was. She wanted them close for a bunch of reasons that all made sense, but Elliot was a pretty tough baby at times, and I was really worried that our second would be as tough or more. The turning point was when Elliot was sleeping really well (10-ish months but god did it feel like longer than that). Turned out that Lily has been a way easier baby, and generally having the confidence of getting through the early months once already has helped a lot too.

 

We always wanted two and planned to have them 2-3 years apart, but covid and fertility issues after my wife's traumatic first delivery killed that. We ended up having #2 5.5 years after #1.

I will say, if she got pregnant today, your kid would be 4 and a half-ish when you had the baby. That means you're only a year out from public school, which eases the financial burden quite a bit because you're not paying for daycare for two.

And despite the large age gap that neither of us wanted, there are some big advantages to it, namely that our 6 year old is "self sufficient" in ways that make it so much easier than having a 2-3 year old and a newborn lol.

 

Lucky, Houston we’re lucky if we aren’t sweating on Thanksgiving

 

my wife is a SAHM so thankfully we're free of the financial burden that is daycare

 

My ac is usually still blowing Christmas Day

 

Next week it’s supposed to get down to the 40’s and I can’t wait… I could never live in a hot place like that haha

 

for us it got to the point where I pretty much realized I was never going to feel ready to have a second (I don’t think I ever really felt ready for the first, if I’m honest…), but we saw how much our first loved interacting with other kids, how much we loved so much about our own siblings, etc. etc. and we felt like we wanted her to have that. now that we have two I can’t imagine our family with just one. watching your two kids interact and play together is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever experienced. just last night I grabbed popsicles on the way home from work and I told the girls while we were sitting eating dinner that they could have one after, and our 1.5 yo looked at our 4yo and whispered “popsicle” with wide eyes and they both started giggling. i just about cried.

 

dammit

 

I really don’t think I’m going to have another and I feel pretty guilty about it

 

sorry - that wasn’t meant to make anyone feel bad about not having more; we know lots of families with one and they’re equally beautiful. just that I have found the benefits/gifts/joys of having two have far outweighed the hard parts for us and we were surprised by how our capacity grew.

 

My wife has three siblings and I have one, we always knew that we wanted our kids to have siblings so our mindset was always at 2 from the beginning. My wife's reasoning has always been that our kids need someone to complain about their parents to haha

 

One kid gang, unable to have more myself. He’s close with his cousins at least!

 

We always talked about having two kids, which is why we started trying a year before we would have liked since my wife had always had moderate hormonal issues that led her to believe it would be difficult for her to conceive. Then she had two miscarriages in a year before having our first via IUI, which confirmed her fears, so she was really hard on herself before and during pregnancy. She also just generally hated being pregnant which didn’t help (I don’t blame her).

So, we’ve kind of been treating our son as a one and done, and the $2,300/month daycare bill keeps that pretty firm. I’d love for him to have a sibling, he’d be so happy, but I enjoy our life as it is and I’ll never suggest another before my wife is ready. She’s currently looking at pictures of him as a little bean every single night so maybe it won’t be long, but I’m good either way

 

Team one kid here and will stay that way lol