The Office (NBC) TV Show • Page 16

Easily a top 10 or so favorite episode of mine...But my personal favorite exchange is:

Michael- Kevin, we're going to take you to a very special place...A place that will make you happy and a place that is far, far away from the evil sun.

Stanley- Is this trip related in any way to your--birthday?

Michael- How dare you, sir. You are gross.

*cuts to the birthday banner*

 

I say "How dare you, sir. You are gross." ALL THE TIME! Nobody ever gets it. Brilliant line delivery and editing right there.

 

i use "gruntled" a lot from the episode following Roy trying to attack Jim.

Jan: "Michael, you had a disgruntled employee attack another employee in the office."
Michael: "don't worry Jan, no one here is disgruntled. we're all very gruntled."

(something like that but you get it)

 

"It was a crime of passion, not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled."

 

yes! thank you.

 

Ryan Howard: Did this happen on company property?
Michael Scott: Yes. It was on company property with company property, so double jeopardy. We are fine.
Ryan Howard: I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.
Michael Scott: Oh, right. I'm sorry. What is "We're fine"?

 

This one is fantastic

 

From that same exchange, I really like when Michael tells Ryan what happened, and Ryan's response is "did you do this on purpose?"

 

My Office quotes at...the office go unnoticed daily haha

 

"no, i was being negligent."

 

my all time favorite Michael Scott line is:

"I'm not superstitious, but i am a little stitious."

second is probably:

"so who's smarter? a dog or a fish."

 

I just want my nephew to be able to work in my pool.

 

If I had a gun with 2 bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, bin Laden and Toby, I'd shoot Toby twice.

Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and... I have a great one. 'Little Kid Lover'. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.

 

I always enjoy this one from Safety Training...

After Dwight drops the watermelon from the roof and it hits Stanley's car:

"Deactivate the car alarm, clean up the mess. Find out whose car that is. If it's Stanley's, call the offices of James P. Albini, see if he handles hate crimes."

Michael yelling "Bingo!" prior to impact makes it so much better!

 

"No I'm not going to tell them about the downsizing. As a doctor, you wouldn't tell a patient they had cancer."

 

"You wouldn't arrest a guy just for passing drugs from one person to another."

 

prison Mike is the best

Also
" I love Burlington coat factory you go in there with $645 you are literally a king"

 

"Does the tiger transfer the monkey to another branch? ... Pun."

 

"you expect to get screwed by your company, but you never expect to get screwed by your girlfriend."

 

"i have flaws. what are they? i sing in the shower. sometimes i spend too much time volunteering. occasionally i'll hit somebody with my car."

 

"it was a hate crime. i hated it."

 

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take - Wayne Gretzky" - Michael Scott

 

"Dwight, you ignorant slut."

 

haha, just watched this episode.

one of the outstanding jokes only probably only realized by big time fans of the show, is how quickly Oscar is ready to go with his analogies when explaining to Michael what a surplus is / what it means. as soon as Michael says, "explain this to me like i'm 12" and then again when he's now five, Oscar immediately starts in with an explanation.

 

"is there a god? if not, what are all the churches for? and who is Jesus' dad?"