The National - I Am Easy To Find (May 17, 2019) Album • Page 44

“I think I’m hitting a wall” wow we didn’t think you guys meant it musically!!!!! - pitchfork (probably)

 

Watching the film (well, sorta - I'm a bit distracted now), and surprisingly i really like these versions of the album tracks

 

suddenly even happier that i went with the deluxe vinyl - these are really nice alternate versions of the album tracks. not usually super into having different versions of the same song.

 

Yo I love this now. So that’s cool.

 

I don't have a way to play vinyl - do you know if this is the same as the Japanese deluxe CD version...?

 

people who care about aggregate sites dont use logic

 

Shiiiiit Oblivions is so good

 

It makes me want to do the Carlton in my underwear and sob

 

I know music is subjective and all but what kind of jabroni listened to this and thought "yup, this sounds like something they already did."

 

I can’t think of many bands that have incrementally adjusted their sound album-over-album without ever losing their core identity as well as these guys have.

 

Did Pitchfork even listen to this album!? Wtf. (I'm on Dust Swirls in Strange Light rn)

 

yo I'm tryina breathe here but my review got shared on the National Facebook page and I'm shook

 

That’s so cool!

I’m in love with this album

 

On writing lyrics for the National

Not sure if this was posted here, but it was quite the insightful read

 

It is! Mine is in transit and hopefully won't take an age to arrive. Cherry Tree vinyl edition should be here this week at least :3

 

I would love the pull of you much more without the spoken word parts

 

Also I still can't get into not in kansas at all

 

every document’s indelible

 

smh

 

I cannot stop listening to this. Light Years in particular breaks my heart every time.

I’m going to get a little long and personal here, but this is what that song always makes think of as the album comes to a close. When I was ten years old I went to a very conservative Baptist church with my family and it was at that age that I became best friends with the girl who would later become my wife. It was me, her, and another friend of ours that ran together in our little group. I’d known her since we were four years old, but once the three of us became close friends it was a game changer. I fell hard for her but kept it to myself, always wondering if she felt the same way. When I was twelve I discovered, after she attended a friend’s sleepover and had told her girlfriends, that she liked me too. I was just a kid, but I never felt more alive. I never acted on it because I was so young, but just the feeling of being around her and knowing the truth was enough.

So very suddenly my parents announced to my sisters and I they were getting a divorce. It was incredibly traumatic because none of us saw it coming. They literally pulled the rug out from under us and it was devastating. They told us we’d be leaving the church because the church elders had reached out to certain members and asked them to shun us until my parents repented. We were no longer welcome. My last Sunday there we sat in our usual spot in the pews next to a family who had always been very close friends, so close that I referred to the parents as aunt and uncle. As soon as we sat down, they got up and moved away from us. I was broken-hearted. I’d been attending this church my entire life and it was a second home. We were the family that went every Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and Saturday night for my parents’ choir practice where I’d spend the time running around the church with my two best friends. Now I felt displaced and it cut deep. We started getting angry phone calls, voice messages, and letters in the mail from church members. One of my mom’s best friends at the church happened to live down the street from us and one day she walked down to our house, knocked on the front door, handed my mother a letter informing her she could no longer be friends with her, and then disappeared out of our lives. I watched my mom cry as she walked up to her bedroom. Nothing made sense. I told my friends we were leaving and we weren’t coming back and they were confused. When it was time to go my parents quickly rushed us into the car with no time to say any final goodbyes. I will forever remember turning around in the backseat and watching out the window as my friends ran out the front door looking for me until they saw the car pulling away. They stood there waving goodbye and I watched until they disappeared out of sight.

All of that is what I think of when I hear the first verse:

You were waiting outside for me
in the sun
Laying down to soak it all in
before we had to run
I was always ten feet behind you
from the start
Didn't know you were gone
'til we were in the car

After that I went through a very dark, lonely period of life. I was halfway through my first year of junior high at the time and none of my friends from elementary school had carried over. I was always very quiet and shy so my parents’ divorce only amplified it. I was alone at school and had, up to this point, relied solely on my friends at church for socializing. I started getting bullied very badly and I held it all inside because that’s how I chose to deal with it all. I’d spend weekends at my dad’s house listening to him cry because he didn’t want the divorce (it was pretty one sided for a very long time) and we moved from church to church looking for a place to stay. Eventually we found one but nothing ever felt the same. It’s that childhood magic that only lasts for a little while and then suddenly it’s just gone. I became suicidal, I developed frequent panic attacks that hospitalized me, and the teen years were wildly emotional. I spiraled pretty badly. At one point I was at a store with my mother when I saw my wife and her family from a distance. I wanted to run over there and say hello, but I was too scared. So instead I hid and watched until they were out of sight. Then one day out of the blue my wife’s family decided to leave the church I used to attend (they had their own problems with the elders) and come to ours. I was excited to see her, but I had changed a great deal and my emotions took over. I’d been through hell and I think the self preservation born out of the fear of losing her again is what kicked in. So instead of greeting her with open arms I pushed her away for a long time. All of that is what I think of when I hear the second verse.

I thought I saw your mother last weekend
in the park
It could've been anybody,
it was after dark
Everyone was lighting up in the shadows
alone
You could've been right there next to me,
and I'd have never known

I finally snapped out of it and sent her a letter, apologizing and telling her her friendship was deeply important to me. I had developed an inherent mistrust of people and had unfortunately taken it out on her, but she forgave me and told me that of course we were still friends and that she missed me. When we were in college we started dating, eventually got engaged, got married, and now we have two beautiful children.

But I am still in therapy. Everything still hurts. Depression, trauma, suicidal ideation, none of that just goes away. It affects everything I do. When I first heard the chorus I attributed it to my wife in our life story, but the more I thought about it the more I realized it’s not just her. It’s me. Or at least it’s the me I was all the way back then, back in the beginning when the glory of it all was lost on me. It’s why I cried watching the short film while thinking about that kid deep down inside me, the kid I took for granted till I realized how hard it’d be to reach him.

And I would always be
Lightyears
lightyears away from you...

 

Thank you for sharing this.

 

I want to thank you for sharing this too.

 

Thanks, friends. The power of music never ceases to astonish me. I’ll be carrying on with my life and then something like this stops me dead in my tracks. I’ve been on the ap/Chorus forums for fifteen years now and I’m just really grateful this community exists.

 

It makes me sad that tates holding off on listening until fall/winter. This album is something special.