The Eternal Cringe Thread • Page 6

Yeah, I was the my own biggest influence in realizing what a shitty person is. Takes one to know one. As much as I would say I want to erase my 14-early 20s, I'm proud enough of who I currently am and falling on my face is what got me there.

 

I don't think that I was that different as a teen, I also never allowed myself the freedom to do dumb teen shit and idk I think that maybe he helpful, like get it out of your system
Like I think everyone should have a Juggalo phase or equivalent and I didn't

 

I was bad at everything social as a teenager, even for teenager standards. And then at 19 I found out that as a kid I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and all of a sudden every reaction/approach I ever had to anything made sense.

 

I was dumb, but I went through a lot between the ages of 11-13, and all things considered I landed on my feet pretty well. Didn't get in much trouble or anything. But I embarassed myself a lot.

 

My hair was cringeworthy in 2009

 

Impressively penis tip esque

 

Don't worry tho my freshman yearbook photo was me with a bowl cut and a beard in a Power Rangers shirt because I had a hard time exiting my "Im So RaNdOm" phase

 

I think being surrounded by people I'd consider friends making the dramatic shift to scene kid saved me from having a pretty embarrassing phase as a teen cause I saw it happen. However this didn't save me from the cringiest thing of all in participating in the usage of homophobic slurs every so often as a synonym for shitty because "everyone is doing it!" Seventh grade me is one of the worst versions of myself, truly, and I regret every time I've ever hurt some closeted gay kid or perpetuated the idea that it's okay to marginalize someone for their identity.

 

I have no idea what the fuck either of those are and I respect you for that. ✊

 

Dying laughing at a lot of these! Trying to make a list of all the cringe moments from my life to share, but to write them all would take too long, because it's essentially my entire life.

This one only ever occurred in my head but nevertheless...

When I was in 3rd grade (1998), I was convinced me and my friends were gonna be in a boy band called "eXtreme Boyz."

Our lead single was gonna be Sting's "After the Rain Has Fallen" because I didn't know you could write your own songs, and our music video would have been us dancing in leather jackets in the rain because I was #2Legit2Live

Literally red as a beet writing this right now.

 

On the bright side you're not red from jalapeños on your balls

 

That’s one way to spice up your sex life

 

One time I got a message for a job interview but I needed to call back to confirm a time. Nobody answered so I left a message. It went okay until the end when I needed to leave my callback number AND I FORGOT MY PHONE NUMBER. Y'all I just froze and was like "If you have any questions you can reach me at .............................................................................................................................................................................................." I'm sure it was like less than a minute but it felt like forever. Like you could've played the entirety of Goodbye Sky Harbor with how long I took to recover. You could've watched Titanic - including the time it takes to take out the first VHS and put in the second. Eventually I just said "....uh, you can find my number on my application kbye."


I did not get that job. I also write my phone number down on scrap paper when I leave messages now.

 

Yup I can relate to this so hard. Idk what it is but when I need to recall number sequences on the spot I just blank. SS, numbers, etc. it’s not that I don’t know them it’s just like the Sim effect where you walk into a room and forgot Why

 

Sim effect is from a joke about how walking into a room and forgetting why is like if God cancelled the action you were supposed to perform, like in Sims

 

I was 19 when I had my first job interview. My interviewer started things off casually and asked what I had going on that day. I told him I was going to the movies later that night. When he asked what movie I was seeing, I kind of froze up because I didn't want to start off the process by saying "Jackass," so instead, I went with, "I... don't think I can say..."
It was all downhill and sweaty after that. Did not get that job.

I can't believe I stumbled out of the gates with that lol.

 

They were expensive as fuck, haha.

iRiver:


Gigabeat:


When they worked, they were cool. But they had a lot of problems, obviously

 

I once accidentally gave my sister's phone number, it's not like I ever say mine out loud, they didn't wind up calling her wherever it was

 

Alright, here's one from last summer.

I had tickets to see Panic! at the Disco & Weezer at Irvine Meadows Amphitheater. Unfortunately Google Maps fucked me on the drive over with a 'faster route' and I got stuck on the onramp into the venue for literally an hour. I finally managed to make it up to my seating area halfway through Panic's set, but I go to my row and it seems like my seat's been taken. I decide not to say anything and hang out in the back walkway for most of the show. Towards the back half of Weezer's set, security staff start telling us we're a fire hazard and need to move. I Say to the woman that my seat's taken, she takes a look at my ticket and then takes me there - turns out I was in the wrong row.

I have a couple empty seats on either side of me, and to my left is a middle aged woman also there by herself. She leans over and starts talking to me, friendly enough. When she keeps initiating conversation, I suspected she might be putting out 'a vibe.' So I make a joke and then put my arm around her waist, which she leans alllll the way into. She then asks if she can kiss me, to which I'm like, 'yeah, sure.' And we make out for a bit. She asks very loudly if I've ever kissed a 48-year-old before, but I try to take it in stride because fuck it I'm making out.

In any case, we watch the End of the show, and then make out a little more, fairly certain this is going to lead to something else. She says she's glad she met me, to which I'm like 'yeah I know lol...'

And then she says, "I'm also glad my husband's not here."

In hindsight, I tend to think about how there was an entire row of people behind us, silently watching this unfold.

 

Lmao. Something like this happened to my buddy when he went to a Clinton rally last year. Except she mentioned she was married before making a move, and he turned her down when she tried. He's not really a "ladies man" or whatever, but whenever that story comes up he kinda brushes it off like it was nothing. I still always imagine it as being pretty much the most awkward thing ever though.

 

When I was a tween/ teen I wanted to watch Closer cause I was a PATD fangirl and knew they referenced it. Except I didn't read anything about it beforehand and rented it from Hollywood Video with my mom and two older family friends who were all clutching their pearls as I tried to sink into the couch and die

 

who isn't a PATD fangirl/boy?

 

I read Invisible Monsters for that reason

 

Me too! But I leant it to a friend and she never gave it back

 

When I was 18, summer after high school graduation, my friend and I went to the Detroit area for Warped Tour and Ozzfest, as they were two days apart. We stayed at my a friend of my brother's. It was right on the lake, centralized for both festivals. It was perfect. At ozzfest, we got tired -- there's only so much metal you can listen to in the morning -- and we walked by the body painting booth where my friend cat-called a woman getting her boobs painted with Ozzy's face (and I know cat-calling women is pretty terrible now; didn't know that then) and it turned out to be a mid-40's woman who has seen Ozzy numerous times. We ran into her a little while later and she started hitting on my friend and it was super awkward.

Ozzfest was at this amphitheater that had the stage, a bunch of permanent seating, then there's a walk way behind the seating, a hill and then this massive deck where you can watch video boards of the stage. We pick a seat before main stage sound check at like 5 pm and play some cards, lamenting we cannot drink alcohol at the festival. At like 6 pm, this lady finds us again and asked if she could sit by us and my friend says yes so her and her friend just surround us. The whole show they are all over us and it's equal parts creepy equal parts awesome as a teenage boy with tons of hormones. But they get bombed on jack and coke and it becomes unbearable so we say we are going to get some pop/soda down at the stand way in the distance. So we leave and just kind of ditch them, looking to avoid the confrontation. They found us down there hanging by a trash can. We then watch the end of the set with them, again all over us, and they said they wanted to go to the bathroom to 'freshen up' and we took that opportunity to run to the car. Some how, on the highway, these ladies are behind us and we have to take like a 45 minute detour until they stopped following us. It was insane.

So there's the time i either almost lost my virginity to someone who watched Ozzy with Black Sabbath in the 70's or was almost killed by someone who watched Black Sabbath in their 70's.