The Eternal Cringe Thread • Page 4

I did the exact same thing with a Pokémon website, down to stealing another site's source code and graphics. Great artists steal, right?

 

Lol omg. At least u were smart enough to steal source codes. I was not at that level!

It's my curse. I can regurgitate information and used to write really well but I have no interesting or original ideas so I have to steal them all lmao.

 

I'll be honest a part of me was sorta relieved when AP turned to Chorus because my early years in the mid-2000's on there were not pretty

 

In like seventh grade I thought oral sex meant dirty talk and somehow wound up saying that out loud in the cafeteria I don't remember the exact conversation

 

this is basically every post in this thread

 

I didn't set away messages. When I wasn't on, I turned my desktop off! Also, I was on dial-up, didn't want to tie up the phone line.

 

So I will immediately regret sharing this story.

As I said in another thread, I had plans to go to a cookout yesterday. As a part of those plans, we were instructed to bring our favorite side dish. I asked the thread for recommendations as to what kind of side dish to make, as I wanted to put forth a good impression (my boss was going to be there). @dadbolt suggested bacon wrapped jalapeños which sounded amazing, and I instantly saw it as the winner. I bought ingredients at the grocery store on Saturday morning, and got to cooking around 1pm, to be ready for the cookout at 6:30pm.

I was at Laura's at the time, and when I'm at Laura's I always cook naked. It's half suggestive, half joking, and she loves it. So I made no exception this time, and began all my prep work while naked. Part of making bacon wrapped jalapeños is removing the seeds and membranes from the jalapeños to allow a space for the cheese to be added, and to make the jalapeños mild enough to be edible in that form. As I did this, I decided to taste a seed just for the hell of it. It was surprisingly hot, but not TOO bad.

About 6 peppers into this task, I began to feel pain and wasn't sure why. I looked down and saw that there were jalapeño seeds on my balls. I immediately removed the seeds. One would think just having seeds make physical contact would not cause any kind of irritation. Well, let me tell you, Chorus dot fm, one does not recognize just how painful the testicular area can be until hot pepper seeds come into play. It felt like enough fire in my balls to burn down the entire apartment complex. I scrambled around the house, trying to find anything that could potentially help, but everything only exaggerated the pain. I tried everything, and all I could do was just let the pain subside. The pain did not agree with this methodology and continued for hours and hours, and I missed the cookout, sitting at home on Laura's couch in the fetal position, writhing in pain.

TLDR: I was gonna go to a cookout yesterday but I missed it.

 

Today I learned the purpose of a loincloth

 

Boss: We missed you at the cookout the other day what happened
You trying to not be embarrassing- I had um severe diarrhea

 

Laura said I could just say "Sorry my girlfriend is pregnant and sick" but I'll probably just tell the actual story because it's the most excusable story ever

 

my plan worked flawlessly

 

This is a good thread

 

a few days ago I was stoned in public and wearing my Orioles hat as I do most every day. so there I am just walking along, enjoying my day, when I see my old P.E. teacher (who I run into pretty often, weirdly enough) who then says to me "who's that on your hat there?". now idk why he asked me the question, idk why this answer came out of my mouth, but for some reason I said "Cardinals" to which he just stood there, dumbfounded by my answer. idk if he thought I was fucking with him, if he thought I was just an idiot, or if he could tell that I was really stoned, but I have thought about it at least once a day since it happened...last week. I even thought of going back and saying "I meant Orioles. I meant Orioles. see, I know what team it is" but that would have made the story even fucking sadder, I think. The End.


Story 2: a few days ago I was in a pot dispensary and they were trying to print a label for my purchases but the printer was fucking up. a girl walks over to help, and just as she does, the printer start up again, to which I say "guess that was all it taked" and then stood there quietly hoping no one heard me say taked instead of took. thank you for your time. I hate myself

 

Was at the bar this weekend before Now, Now. Bartender was talking to a couple sitting near me, and of course I thought that she was talking to me. Proceeded to answer multiple questions before I realized she wasn't talking to me.

 

oof

 

I was talking to somebody when I walked into a restroom a few months ago, and the person in the stall thought I was talking to him, so I quickly exited the restroom.

 

I was on the amtrak heading back home, fairly empty train and I had no one sitting next to me but once we hit Union Station in LA it gets pretty packed. So I have my headphones in when we stop in LA and this guy comes up to me and asks "Is anyone sitting there?" to which I reply "no". He gives me a weird look and asks again and I say "no" again and he walks off and sits somewhere else. I'm thinking "that was pretty weird", when I realize I had misheard him and what he was actually asking was "Can I sit there?".

 

I realized today that I'm past a third of my life (assuming I tap out to natural causes in my 70s) and I still get sweaty when I talk to people. Seems cringy enough, yeh?

I misspeak more often than I'd like to admit. I used to trip on it but lately I try not to care as much. It seems to work considering the other person probably forgets by the end of your sentence.

 

It's embarrassing how often a sentence comes out of my mouth completely out of order

 

I ran into my high school spanish teacher sometime during college at some small town music festival.

I proceeded to say, "Hola," however, my voice cracked and made me sound like I was 13.

Also...this person wasn't actually my old spanish teacher, just a lookalike.

 

This thread seems hilarious sign me up

 

Fuckcade, a x rated arcade

 

So did it mess up the rhythm of the lyric having to make the change

 

I pronounced Joaquin like Joe-a-quin once. I know how to pronounce it but I was tired and was reading the name (was a kid in my class). The kicker, I was in Spanish class and everyone heard.

 

One time when I was like 8 i was bored cause my sister and friend were playing something else, so I decided I was gonna be a popstar. I wrote a tracklist that included surefire hit songs like "Fantastic" and "Sweet." I then proceeded to pretend I was in a music video and i think i was trying to roll around on the ground coyly (except i was like thrashing lol) as popstars do with headphones on pretending like they were my headset mic while loudly singing "SWEET SWEET SWEET" cause that's how creative my songwriting skills are. My sis and friend walked in and they've made fun of me for it ever since.


Also my freshman year of hs I had a really bad haircut cause I decided I was punk af and should let my sister cut it at like midnight without telling my parents. It was horrible. I only had it for like a year but it's how EVERYONE remembers me, even now. It is my legacy. Every time i see a pic from that time i die inside and feel the need to overcompensate to put a new image in everyone's head lol