The Eternal Cringe Thread • Page 28

I think I'm just not getting the reaction from the coworker. Sounds like a contextually funny and harmless comment to me.

 

So I got a good one that just happened, this one kinda escalates quickly so bear with lol. I normally stay at my girlfriend's house upstairs in her room. She has a bright pink butt plug kinda just lounging out on her drawer, it's obviously clean and everything but probably not the best place for it, her parents just never come in her room so it's not a big deal. Well she went to go get food and her older brother comes in with his dogs and for whatever whatever weird ass reason grabs it and sticks it to her tv so it's just hanging there (it's one of the rubbery ones with the suction cup) and I was like you a. probably shouldn't be touching that (weird), and b. that's definitely gonna fall and one of the dogs is gonna use it was a chew toy. I'm honestly not really paying any attention to him so he leaves 5 minutes later I my gf's dad yell something at him and her brother comes back up stairs laughing, and shows me a video of the his dog chewing on it in front of everyone on the couch, and not only that the dog managed to stand it up by the base while she was doing it. I texted my girlfriend what happened and she's like "I'm not coming home" lmao

 

Another thread, another dog eating ass...

 

So this happened a month or so ago but I just remembered I ought to share this one.

I had gone out grocery shopping late at night and was having a rough day to put it mildly. I drive a red Impala and was walking out of the store and through the parking lot with my bags of groceries in hand, feeling over tired and stressed. I got to the car, looked down at the wheels, and let out an exasperated moan.

In the short ten minutes I’d been inside, someone had stolen the hubcap off the driver’s side wheel.

“COME ON!” I shouted to no one in particular.

“Seriously?!? You’ve got to be kidding me!” It just felt like another bout of shit luck and I couldn’t contain myself in the moment.

“I was in there for TEN MINUTES and the friggin hubcap -“

And this is when a gentleman walks over to the car, unlocks it with his keys, and then proceeds to stare at me while I look up and note that MY car is, y’know, the car right NEXT to his and all of my hubcaps are safely intact. So I look at him and do the perfectly logical thing.

“Somebody took your hubcap that’s terrible I’m so sorry I can’t believe -“

And then I just keep muttering nonsense as I walk BACK to the store because I am way too embarrassed to get into the car right next to his. I turn back to see him still staring at me, presumably bewildered, and I then wait inside the store with all of my bags for a good ten minutes like a weirdo until I’m sure he’s gone.

 

Was he as pissed as you when he found out someone took his hub cap?

 

literally just seeing the name of this thread made me remember this time that I was trying clothes on in this store and someone who worked there knocked on the door and I guess I had just a major anxiety moment cuz all I could say was “umm” quietly. So she thought it was empty and unlocked it to let another customer use it, saw me and immediately closed the door and just said “PLEASE answer when we knock!” and for some reason I responded with “that’s okay!”

????

 

The best part is that his car wasn’t even the same model as mine. The only thing they had in common was that they were both red.

I sure do love me.

 

I’m dead.

 

this is definitely someone's kink but sorry this happened to you

 

can we revive this

 

less social interaction = less cringe

I guess

 

Not sure if I posted this, probably not because I only remembered it today while I was browsing on my phone. It happened more than 5 years ago and just had to get if off my chest.

It was evening and I was in a public transport on my way home, browsing on the internet (or looking at photos, I don't remember), so I was holding my phone up in front of my face like an idiot (I still browse like that to this day). My phone at that time was so slow that often it takes a while for inputs to register, so the phone freezes up and I tap on the screen a few times and nothing happens. It unfreezes and the inputs register and somehow it suddenly decides to go to camera and snap a picture. WITH THE FLASH ON. It was dark af so naturally it caught everyone off guard, including this woman right in front of me and to everyone it now looks like i'm this creep trying to take a picture of this person.

In the moment I panicked and thought about explaining what happened, but then quickly realized it would just sound like I was trying to save face so I just pretended nothing happened and had to be there awkwardly for like 30 more minutes or something. Just thinking about it again now makes me oiajwefoiajweoifjaweof

 

bump y'all

 

God DAMN

 

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

I get so excited when this thread gets bumped bc I always forget about it. And then I realize I probably forgot about it bc I am desperately trying to repress all of these secondhand memories

 

I felt this.

 

Omg

 

Technology and me fucking up... got schooled by Teams this morning.

I’m house sitting for my parents, at their place watching the cat and dog and trying to work this morning and on a call with 10-15 people and the dumbest woman in our company starts talking and meanwhile the cat is being pompous (so... being a cat) and starts rolling around on her back on her cat tree. She always falls and doesn’t land on her feet to the point my mom made my step dad install “safety railings” on the perch so when she does this she stays put (perch is like 5 feet off the ground so eventually she’d concuss herself to death I imagine without any intervention). But now she tries to balance on the newly installed ledge and rub her back on this. So I’m watching while the dumb person from work is talking and the cat falls off and I laugh and say, “you are so fucking dumb lol!”

guess who, of course, wasn’t on mute?

I then try to explain I was talking to the cat but the cat is now in hiding so I show them the cat tree to get them to understand that yes I was calling the cat dumb (at the time). Not sure if they believe me though.

 

Dear god. I’d love to assure you and sugarcoat this, but that’s awful, lol.

 

it doesn't help that the relationship with this coworker is already rocky, but i told them i would try to get a video of the cat falling so they would understand, but probably won't and i'll just hope everyone forgets about it by the end of the week and only mentions it here and there for laughs - without that particular employee involved lol

 

Man, I had a feeling where this was going but I couldn’t have dreamed it would be so perfect (as a story, not as a life moment, I’m sorry that happened!)

 

haha no worries.

I consider life to be a never ending tv sitcom so today was very fitting. My HR rep sent out a “reminder” about email etiquette and “how Teams icons work and what they mean” to the office about an hour ago and I’ve been getting shit on from everyone that was on the call lol.

best response so far has been someone who made an addendum to the rules saying, “and lastly, do not own any pets to avoid any potential conflicts of conversation”.

 

I sit back in my chair at work and put my feet up on my desk and today the chair didn't stop where it usually does when I lean back, so I toppled over while on a professional phone call. Muted it like a pro, but all my coworkers came over concerned which made it worse lol. Now my back and shoulders hurt.

 

Damn - that sounds brutal.

One time while I was in the office, I was standing and talking to my boss over a cubicle wall when someone else walked past and complimented my shoes so my boss says “let me see”. It was my genius idea to kick my entire leg up onto the top of the cubicle (I’m 6’4 so it wasn’t that much of a stretch height wise) but I was really close to the cubicle wall and when my leg landed on the top like I planned, my standing leg completely collapsed and I immediately fell to the floor.