The Eternal Cringe Thread • Page 27

There is one hardcopy and when my friends and I get drunk we read from it sometimes. It is hilarious and bad.

 

I was a huge plagiarizer as a youth. I stole the plot of Ella enchanted when I was like ten and then stole a clockwork Orange when I was in hs. Also have a home video where we plagiarized Scream.

 

I had to take my car in for a repair this morning and throughout the day have been thinking about how it might be time to get something with a lower monthly payment. So as I pick it up from service, I decide to walk over to sales to see what a trade in would look like.

So I’m sitting there at this guy’s desk and we’re sorta spinning each other’s wheels (pun intended) about what type of vehicle I’d be looking at trading for. He starts asking for some of my info to take down so naturally I give him a fake name, phone number, and email, because like screw this guy we haven’t talked about anything real and he doesn’t need it and I know he just wants to hound me every day for the next 6 months. Anyway, a few minutes pass and he’s like “hey just in case you’re looking to flat out sell it instead of trade, let me introduce you to the guy here that does that.” So I sit there while he goes to get the dude.

He comes back, dudeless, and is like “so the guy isn’t here I guess he’ll be back on Monday. Uhhhh. Uhhhh. Lemme text you his name and info/hours real quick”. He whips out his personal cell phone, which seems real weird now that I think about it, and starts punching in my “phone number”. I’m like whatever, no problem, it’s not like he’s gonna ask to see my phone to make sure the text came through. What I DIDN’T think of until the moment he hit Send on his carefully worded text message, was that this text is about to go to some other random phone number, where he might get an automated business response or even a “wrong number” reply.

Immediately I stand up like “h-hey man I gotta go” and he, like any pushy salesperson, gives me grief about leaving like our business isn’t over yet. And I’m like “no really dude I have a thing across town, my time here today was limited, I have got. to. go.” And he’s like “uh well alright let me walk you out then” and as he goes to grab his phone on his desk the motherfucking text tone goes off and IT’S THE FAKE NUMBER. He didn’t open it, he looked and at it and looked back at me and says something like “oh, I see” and I literally just gave him something akin to “idk man what do you want from me” lmao. And then he STILL walked me out and we STILL did the whole like “well yeah we’ll be in touch” bullshit. Holy hell was that uncomfortable

 

That is some grade A cringe right there, love it.

 

That's beautiful At the beginning I was thinkin' he was gonna introduce you to a guy that was gonna give you a deal you couldn't refuse, but also, you couldn't accept since you're a liar

 

I thought the dude the salesman went to talk to was gonna end up being a family member or friend or someone who would be like “wtf? That’s *whatever your name is* not Joe Six Pack” and then awkward silence would ensue but somehow the reality was much worse lol

 

My friend just gifted me with this memory and I kinda wanna yeet myself into the sun lol. I had to watch in like 20 second increments cause it’s too cringey. Was probably 15 here

 

what. the. fuck.

 

Whoa that was somethin’

 

Being a teenager should be illegal

 

Sneezed at work. Said “thank you”. Realized afterward no one said “bless you” though cause one person just went “oh, uh, yeah, bless you”. Fml

 

You passive aggressive fuck

 

Dude there is this semi-autobiographical sitcom called The Goldbergs by this guy Adam Goldberg and they almost always show old home videos by him at the end and it’s exactly shit like this lol

 

Lmao that’s awesome. I’ve seen bits of the show but didn’t realize that

 

Fuck that’s deep.

 

Nice penis.

 

we all know your last name now dude

 

Were these posts related at all?

 

I have basically nothing to do at work today and have been reading through this thread to pass the time
bless all of y'all who have shared

 

I definitely have a lot of stories that belong in this thread. The couple that I can think of are both from my days working at a super tourist-trap restaurant.
This one time instead of saying "Have a nice day guys!" to a table of mine that was leaving I said "Have a nice day gays!"
It was right in front of the bar so the bartender who was working that day roasted the hell out of me for that one.
Another time was my first summer working there as a hostess. We had a treasure box of shitty plastic toys that kids could go through and pick something out for themselves. This one weekend I remember I worked three 12 hour days in a row so by Sunday I was a total zombie. At the height of my zombie exhaustion a girl who was probably 7-9 years old came and picked out a little toy snake. I couldn't remember how a normal person talks to kids so what came out of my mouth was "enjoy your snake little girl"

 

If you were Billy Eichner that would be okay

 

lol this happened because instead of listening sometimes my brain just goes into "listen for a chance to make a joke mode"


I just joined a new program at work and they invited me to someone's going away party (Laura). This lady, Donna, had bought a nice framed picture and everyone signed it. When I got to the party Donna called me in cause she wanted me to sign it for the coworker who is leaving (Laura). She was like, "I'm going to have to return the picture to CVS cause it looks absolutely terrible". She undoes the back of it and pulls out what was in there and it's this drawing that clearly a kid drew with crayons. Before I could even think I go "THAT'S what CVS sold you"?

"I really don't think Laura would appreciate you saying that"
*storms out*

 

I must be dumb this morning, because I can't figure out what has happened in this one.

 

I needed to word it better. I told 4 friends the same story. One thought it was hilarious and the other 3 didn't get it

I basically told a co worker her kid is terrible at drawing accidentally