The A1chemy Index Vol. 5: Dan should not have the ability to change this thread title • Page 1201

I think it was Grizzly Bear who posted the receipts one time and it was so sad

 

wtf they want you to do

guilt someone into it

 

Spotify pays you in $Exposure$

 

Just take all change when customer pays in cash and put towards the charity. "Thanks for the donation." and then blankly smile at them

 

C L A S S I C

 

“What can I get started for you?”

“Yeah, can I get something to drink?”

I really need to start being mean to people

 

I do this shit am I bad

 

I love your customer service stories. I got a million experiences just like this haha.

One of the worst, and @CarpetElf remembers this:

The Carrabba's I worked at in Jacksonville had managers who were not creative or tactful about resolving customer conflicts, they had this "whatever just give it to them" attitude.

So there were these coupons that people would literally photocopy and bring in. Like, it would be so obvious, blurred ink, etc. And they clearly said "one coupon per table."

Parties of 4 would come in, all with separate coupons, on computer paper. They would get real uppity when a server told them "one per table", which obviously we're going to tell them that because if they all get free / cheap meals they ain't fucking tipping. "Oh, 20% of $0 is $0" kind of thing. "Oh I came here for a free meal I ain't paying for shit."

The managers were such sycophants with no gall and no conviction that they literally would let them all sit at 4 separate tables just so they could all get free meals. And this would happen multiple times in a night sometimes if we were slow. Managers were literally so dumb that they would act like "oh we can't turn business away". Motherfucker, that's not business if they aren't paying / if they're paying so little you don't make profit!! You realize these people ONLY came to Carrabba's because it was free? You're screwing your employees and your financial bottom line at the same time.

Yeah that Carrabba's went out of business a year later. I actually got let go before that, but ended up getting a better job out of it. I laughed my ass off when I heard they shut down.

 

@Serh I wish you were here to celebrate

 

Glad you got to witness the first one ever man. If I'm being transparent, I figured this would happen at around the time your boys won game 5. That's when I thought "yeah no way B's are winning the last two"

Enjoy it bruh, you deserve it

 

I LOVE The National’s live recording of Boxer start-to-finish in Brussels. Holy shit. I really like Boxer, but the live version legit sounds twice as good.

 

honestly this new spongebob meme confuses me and I don’t know how it got popular.

 

Ok if anything she was a side girlfriend okay?

 

Facebook truly is the worst place on the internet.

 

D E L E T. I T.

 

I really do need to

 

I’m watching The Chef show and it’s just making me realize I really need to start learning how to cook for myself because I’m probably missing out on a bunch of cool meals I could make for myself.

 

D O I T

Learning how to cook has legitimately enriched my life. It's nice to get excited about what you're gonna eat every day and not have to spend much money on it. Good food is good for the soul and also gives you a sense of pride to craft it yourself.

 

I’ll probably try and make something this weekend. All I need to do is figure out a perfect first meal to try out.

 

Find a recipe with a video. You can follow the steps and still get it totally wrong if you don't know what color / texture to look for, how long to wait before putting things in the pan and how long to let them simmer, how much seasoning to use, etc. They also have great tips for chopping veggies and herbs.

Watching someone else demonstrate is key. Especially because, recipes are meant to appeal to the widest amount of people with even the most boring tastes / who can't handle a lot of seasoning. Sometimes you'll find a recipe that says "1/2 cup" but then you turn on the video and the chef is like "whatever put a little more it'll make it better" hahah

 

You’re quite the loquacious lil fella, aren’t you?

 

Never expected to be one of those jabronis at the gym at 5 AM but here I am

 

@bachna84

 

I have not changed one bit

 

Spotify is giving me errors at work and I'm freaking out.