This reminds me of when Taylor pulled her catalog from Spotify and I had to explain to someone that saying "She threw a hissy fit because she wanted more money" was a problematic way of describing the situation.
Have I missed a particular post or point? Happy to discuss. Once isn't really over and over. I tried to make the comparison because I knew there would be strong feelings about it, that weren't being conveyed. I think both sexes should have equal responsibility and people should view it the same no matter what sex they are. I don't think it's right for fan bases to give men a pass. Is hissy fit a gendered thing? I use that all the time for all of my coworkers, men and women. I totally get that sexism is alive and real. I just really don't see how this entire thing blew up to be about sexism on a national/global scale. I think it should be ok to call out one woman without it being assumed to be about all women.
Nice man! Thanks! Very helpful. I should shut up and not discuss it with them any further. Because I'm not allowed to speak on the topic at all.
But you're beating a dead horse. And you're clearly trying to "win" this one. At this point, just listen to the women in this thread and learn from what they're saying.
I am going to say this one last time before I log off because I have to be on set in an hour and rush hour starts at 2 in LA. The issue is not that you critiqued a woman. The issue is the language you used to do it, and the inherently misogynistic undertones of what it was your critique was about. Also: I recommend spending some time educating yourself on what microaggressions are, and how they work. They're the backbone of systemic oppression (whether it's sexism, racism, etc.) and you seem to be blissfully unaware of that since you keep insisting that what you're doing isn't sexist.
The issue that has been pointed out is how someone (and especially a man) ‘calls out’ a woman. Back to the post you sarcastically responded to about avoiding gendered and stereotyped phrases like “ice queen.” How, coupled with your obvious desire to argue and not actually listen, is where the issue has stemmed from.
Ok, I can understand it is based in the how it is done. What language would best be used to convey my original intent and meaning while avoiding any stereotyped phrases. (of which I honestly was not aware Ice Queen was considered) Also, where would the line be between arguing and listening? (not trying to be funny, honestly wondering what threshold of response questions to statements would be considered arguing for arguings sake)
this is a good post ty Anna shocking that a user that has said some kind of gross things before is being kind of gross again. i for one am shocked.
I was wondering when you'd show up. Back from the fake apology to say things I've said were gross and shitty again I see?
Anna Acosta’s post is a good place to start. Come on ... you googled it ... you quoted from the Urban Dictionary! You’re telling me you don’t see it? Read through your own link, just the first 3 or 4 “definitions” ... and if you don’t see it I feel like there’s a much bigger issue at play. This is another time where I don’t know how to respond ... I don’t know how to explain the difference between listening and arguing to someone at this age. I just don’t. They’re two different things, are you unaware of when you’re listening and when you’re arguing? When you’re trying to defend what you’ve done versus trying to learn and understand? These seem so self-evident to me I struggle to explain them in any way that won’t read like I’m talking to a child.
Look the point is, Calvin Harris is a nob and honestly who cares if she maybe thought about kissing someone else while dating him. This started with you being upset that a woman dared to talk about a less than pure thought that any human has probably experienced and spiraled into sexist aggression and devil’s advocate debate over a dork ass cute song.
didnt say "shitty" just kinda gross stuff. i mean, i apologized for being a bit aggressive in my responses to you but i didnt apologize for the overall sentiment with which i, and others, condemned you for. do i dislike you? no, never met you and have no reason to. do i think youre misguided, naive, and stubborn in defending a toxic ideal? yes. the fact that you have women attempting to educate you and inform you WHY what youre saying is poorly worded and yet you insist on arguing is a red flag.
Well if you read Tumblr, Calvin was a decoy and she was just dating Karlie the whole time, so if you wanted to have fun you could read the song as trying to subtly flirt with your secret girlfriend while your fake boyfriend is off being a nob at a massage parlor. Editing to say this is in good fun obvs, I follow a bunch of lesbians who love this theory.
I mean come on. “you should think about the consequence/ Of you touching my hand in the darkened room.” Here Is a Photo of Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss <i>Totally </i>Maybe Kissing Are we all having fun again now?
I am one of those lesbians Also it is good fun because in the real world, Taylor is straight and Karlie is dating Jared Kushner’s brother. I much prefer fan theory to reality.
I mean, obviously listening is different over forums than it would be in a face to face conversations. I was trying to ask questions on my posts to clarify positions, and I probably should have been less argumentative. I need to work on that. It is difficult to listen when I feel as though most of these conversations start out with people writing me off and calling me ignorant and making assumptions and talking down to me as if I am some hateful misogynistic person, and I try in many of my posts to lead with "I can understand how you would feel that way...." and other admissions and trying to understand certain points along with my own points and disagreements with theirs and I am met with hostility and absolutely zero understanding for my point of view or intentions. Similar to a month or so ago with the "Emo" topic where I casually mentioned I didn't like the term emo used as a musical genre because in my head the only reference I had for it was from middle school scene kids who cut themselves and was met with LOTS of upset people until I learned it was an 80s punk spin off genre that got a bad name in the early 00s? Somehow these devolve into larger political discussions as a whole and it gets sort of "teamy" (typically with me being the sole member of mine ) and there isn't much productive conversation going on unless I just accept everything and apologize. I don't feel like there is any inbetween room in the discussion. You did say that I said shitty things in the MO thread, but it's in the past and I don't hate you either. We've had fun poking back and forth at each other.