It was supposed to be a light-hearted joke because I think the whole thing has blown up a bit out of proportion. As if I can't criticize Taylor swift for acting a certain way without being assumed to be sexist because other men have generalized other women in the past and today. Why can't everything be taken on a case by case basis and judged like that? There are plenty of female pop stars who I enjoy and think are awesome and don't fall into the same traps because they don't act like and write songs the same way Taylor does.
I'm not policing anything. She is allowed to do whatever she wants. And I'm allowed to have my thoughts on it?
I don’t know how to respond to questions that seem so self-evident. Using language that carries with it history is virtually in the definition of culture, language, and how we all interact on a day-to-day basis. Using words without thinking about their place in a historical and current context seems to be willfully ignorant.
Women do not get to choose the way misogyny impacts them. Until we do, there are no "exceptions" for when it's okay. Believe it or not, it's very easy to critique women without being sexist - but if it seems impossible for you to make the critique you're trying to make without coming across as being misogynistic, maybe you need to consider what's really at the root of the critique you're trying to make. You might not be as exempt from the problem as you believe. And yes, you're entitled to your opinion - but you're not entitled to being sheltered from its real-world impact on the people you express it to.
Also a bunch of other Usher songs like Confessions I and II are actually about cheating. Sorry for bringing up Usher. I was just thinking about Usher.
I don’t get what the deal is with a song about cheating. Taylor’s song didn’t even read like it was about cheating to me. I mean 21 Savage made his career on songs about murder in 2015/16 and Taylor gets crucified for hinting at cheating in 2017? Lmao I really don’t get it. It’s so transparently misogynistic and anti-Taylor to me. I mean I don’t even like her music like that but I keep finding myself defending her. It’s so weird.
That's probably because your dislike (or lack of love for) of her music comes from a much less problematic place. I defend folks I don't care for all the time if someone is coming for them sideways. It's just the decent thing to do.
Yeah and I also feel like...this weird sense of duty to fight back at the more sexist strains of negative narrative re:Taylor. Maybe selfishly so I get more room to criticize her for the actually problematic things she’s done haha
(I don't think we will ever see eye to eye, but I just want you to know I am not (intending to) coming across malicious and I'm trying to understand all the parts to your point, my personality type is to debate everything )
I mean, I know it's based in assumptions on me using the term Ice Queen, but I think that's rather unfair. I have only ever used and heard it used for T Swift. I don't think that should totally negate my arguments and just have them rubber stamped as sexist.
just because you aren't actively trying to be misogynistic and know your intentions aren't to be that way doesn't mean you aren't showcasing misogynistic behavior! it has nothing to do with intentions!
Such as? If it has nothing to do with intentions, to what degree can the listener determine what makes them feel a certain way, and then aren't they policing what I say?
Such as the way you insist you're participating in a "debate" and that your intent is good despite having failed to refute, respond to or otherwise engage with anything I've said to you on the subject. I have spelled it out for you how your feelings and display of them come across as "problematic". Failure to understand beyond that demonstrates willful ignorance.
you're pulling a "WHAT ABOUT MEN" over and over in here. you may know from the bottom of your heart you aren't meaning it in a misogynystic way but that's pretty much the point! as a society we've been trained to subconsciously view things differently and without an active attempt at separating it and recognizing what aspects create the difference you continue to contribute to the issues. that's why you need to sit and listen to the women in this thread and take what they're saying rather than talking over them over and over and over
Powerful Women Aren't Bitches What happens in the work setting is exactly the same — people in positions of power tend to exude competence, but forget to project any sort of warmth. With women, however, it’s particularly difficult, thanks to pre-existing stereotypes. “We learn that the stereotype of a woman is loving, caring, warm, kind — but not particularly a go-getter,” Halvorson says. Think Marilyn Monroe — the uber-femme archetype. “People remember her as a ditzy blonde,” Halvorson says, “but she wrote poetry; she was someone who had a lot of depth.” On the flip side, the world sees Sherlock Holmes, and “it’s almost like you think he’s smarter because he’s such a jerk. Like, he doesn’t have time to be nice because he’s so brilliant,” Halvorson says. “Unfortunately, men can just get away with it more than women.” For women in the workplace, however, this smart versus warm tradeoff is very real. The binary created, Halvorson says, is either be “competent and cold — that’s the bitch — or warm and incompetent — the doormat who no one takes seriously. The more competent you appear, the more likely you’re going to appear cold.” I’m reminded of this piece to some degree.