sA1nts & sA1lors [Archived] • Page 1376

dan would post memes with avril lavigne lyrics in the what a catch he is

 

Not only is my voice as soothing as it gets, my articulation and pace is unbeatable.

 

i mumble to much to be a good public speaker so good thing 80% of my job is me talking to people

 

he was a boy
she was a girl
can I make it any more obvious?

 

I have to speak in front of like 150 people in a few hours. I'll crush it. Always do.

 

do you really or is it like just you in a room with pictures of people glued to the wall

 

I really do!!

 

"as you can see here," Dan points to a graph made in crayon on his pizza hut laptop box, "this graph shows that i am awesome and have many friends and have also once met a girl before."

 

hahahahahahahaha

 

Just tryina up that post count yall

 

I've done fucking NOTHING at work today

 

Ohhh! I thought that was king. That ruled hell yeah.

 

*Daniel walks into room of "150" people*

"Hello, I'm Daniel. you might remember me from a Cialis commercial, such as the one below"



Edit: I would like to report that since @Larry David is funnier than I am, despite making this joke independent of knowing about his joke, I relinquish all credit for this premise to him.

Edit 2: @Larry David wanted me to amend this saying that he is an asshole.

 

Where's my credit for that joke?!

 

Mike is inept at OC

 

uhhh i posted that joke on his instagram independent of ever seeing you make that joke, sir! I would never joke steal.

 

damn

Former police officer named as serial killer

 

@Larry David updated my post for ya.

 

Well now I just look like an asshole.

Which is accurate though tbh

 

@Larry David okay edited again for you.

 

my body is wrecked between the hangover and the last three days of work. send help.