(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 961

My work crush is only here as an intern for a few months while she gets her masters so thats p cool

 

If you give me $100

 

goddammit, some dude that used to work with Melissa is all "i'm in love with you". when we hang out he texts her and when she doesn't respond, which she doesn't, he gets all "where are you, why aren't you responding to me". AND HE'S MARRIED. she's sent me a lot of screencaps (of her own volition, i ain't crazy like that). she told him to remove himself from her life if he couldn't respect her happiness earlier this week. today he texted her saying he's going to tell his wife he has feelings for Melissa and leave her. he seems like a genuine crazy person and she is really telling him off, but he can't get out of his own movie. i've never seen a more cringey bout of "nice guy" syndrome.

on the other hand, it's fucking nice/very attractive to see her saying the things she is about me and how happy she is and how badly he needs to fuck off about it.

 

date, time, and location confirmed for sunday. usually it goes like this:

• match on tinder
• converse
• get phone number
• casual conversation for a day or two
• offer to meet up at a location or somewhere relevant to what was discussed at some point during the casual conversation
• she agrees
• we establish a date based on mutually available times in accordance with our personal schedules
• converse some more
• 2-3 days before day agreed upon with location set I ask for a specific time that they would like to meet
• they say something has come up and need to reschedule with the intent to never actually reschedule OR ghost completely due matching with someone better on tinder or general lack of interest

so, having all three established with no signs of conversations stopping or lulls in responses is promising. we'll see how it goes.

 

you are a fucking robot, @dylan.

i hope she is compatible with your firmware.

 

Damn, Dylan. Your steps 1-9 and my steps 1-9 are quite different.

 

how does that make me a robot?!

 

you need to download the new language pack.

 

what are your steps? I'm interested in seeing the variations of experiences people have on the app. while i can only speak from anecdotal evidence and conversations with friends who also use the app, i thought my 1-9 were a pretty universal script for online dating.

 

@dylan thinking his beliefs and traditions should be universal? no way

 

No, those are probably the proper steps, I just never seem to follow them/get in my own way. I start out with those intentions and then shit happens.

 

deviation from the norm will be punished unless exploitable

 

in what ways?

 

@dylan say what you will but @bigmike is the one who got some verynicexcellent this weekend

 

i self-sabotage and I don't make the first move so getting some "veryniceexcellent" takes a long time me

 

That is a pretty accurate breakdown of the tinder date process

 

you really need that OS update buddy, that got patched out three dyl-builds ago

 

Dylds

 

There was the one from this weekend which I'd already posted about, and that's my first real step back into dating after breaking up with my ex in the fall.

When I met my ex we'd set up a time to grab some beers on a Friday and we didn't converse for like 5 days until 90 minutes before we were supposed to meet up. Then we almost got caught by a cop fooling around in a vehicle.

Before her there was the girl I chatted with on the app for about 45 minutes and then we went and met at a bar. There was one that we made plans, she had to bail and then radio silence for like a month and randomly asked if she wanted to meet up still while bored and we did and hit it off for a while.

I don't know. I basically do everything wrong and things seem to work out and I don't know why.

 

can you list some of the features and updates present in the new update?

 

I fell asleep next to this girl on sunday who could not have been snuggled more closely to me with her hand on my thigh. Just straight up zonked right out until she shifted slightly when she saw I was asleep.

 

there's a lot to be said for this honestly, totally respectable way to do it

 

If I didn't hear from someone for five days leading up to a date I would assume it wasn't happening

 

I almost always check in the day before it's scheduled to happen to make sure it's still on.

Agreed.

 

• patched an exploit which caused "gimmick_awareness.dll" to be overridden, restoring critical thinking capacity
• fixed bug that would cause emotional processing to short circuit if incoming e-communications didn't include read receipts
• removed system aversion to meeting compatible AI specimens
• replenished hairline stability, implemented retroactively
• removed bug that caused unit to state bullshit as facts
• adjusted easter egg that caused unit to see resemblance to Ryan Gosling