(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 597

You're a monster

 

I'm not afraid to take the whisk. Olive you all

 

Olive you too. I never knew I had this mushroom in my heart.

 

I wanna pizza you on your cheese face with my pepporoni face and then there is crust with it on you

 

I cannoli say olive you more. I hope you're not just trying to get into my pantries.

 

Did you think this was your text convo with @Henry?

 

What a finale

 

He's been ghostin me

 

There is no more surefire way to diffuse a sexual situation than to say the word "crust"

 

What the damn hell

 

Ooooohhhh yeah lemme taste that crust babyyyy yeahhhhh break off some of that crust for me

 

How about the word moist? Use it in a sentence! "It sure is moist down here!"

 

get the fuck out

 

Moist is much better than crust imo haha

 

I'm moist right now

 

Unless you're Jason Biggs

 

This made me laugh harder than I'm proud of, god damn

 

Donut talk to me that way.

 

Butter

 

Lol butt

 

Isn't there something you should be doing rn

(I'm waiting for my date to show up outside of the bar, which is consistently the worst few minutes)

 

what the fuck did i just read

 

Coming up on a year since my fiancée told me she had been sleeping with someone else for 2 years and left me. Been essentially couch surfing since then but last weekend I finally moved into my own place and today I went to Ikea and built a whole bunch of tables and bookshelves for my place.

Stil don't have a bed, that's getting delivered next week. But it's been an absolutely brutal year and it's nice to finally feel like I'm pulling my shit together after treading water for so long.