(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 481

It's tough cause on one hand I can't imagine being cheated on while pregnant. I just watched the episode of the Office yesterday where Pam is pregnant and feeling super insecure about being treated differently and feeling inferior to other women. Not to mention all the sucky things men say to women after they give birth. I imagine it's very difficult to feel so vulnerable and be carrying someone's child and have that betrayal. Its unfortunate tho because it's going to sabotage future happiness that she may have. But at the same time u obv don't deserve to be treated like that. I feel like the only thing u can really do is open up, lay it all on table, offer to help her thru it with counseling or whatever, and if things don't change it doesn't seem fair to u to stay.

 

I agree with everything you said. In addition to everything, he called her fat when/after she was pregnant. He was awful to her. However, like you said I'm not him, and never would be. I need to take care of myself at the end of the day if it's going to continue with this trend

 

I know I feel like all the signs are pointing the same direction.

 

I have two friends within a mile of my house, and they're both out of town until this weekend. How is that possible right now? I need them now more than ever.

 

i keep meeting girls on tinder that seem really cool but then i find out they live an hour away and ghost out on meeting. i don't know why i do this

 

Never ghost. At least give an explanation on why you don't want to meet.

 

thanks guys!

and I'm just overwhelmed because I have literally noo idea what to do. I'm not financially stable at ALL and my partner and I aren't stable either and I just feel like that's a really unfair situation to bring a child into

 

What I advise is looking at it in a few different ways:
1. How will this all feel in 4 months?
2. How will this all feel in a year?
3. How will this all feel in 5 years?

It kinda helps put into perspective what you can handle, I guess. Of course, take my advice with a grain of salt because all advice is stupid, but like it helps you realize what kind of stress or what kind of trauma you personally are willing to handle. No decision/approach is the wrong decision/approach for you, whatever's best for you is absolutely most important. I'd never wanna influence that but also know how much it sucks being confused about what to do and how stressful it can be and know that it takes a lot of self-discovery to find out what the world gives us very little time to figure out, hahaha.

Either way I wish the best for you, you deserve it!

 

I think everyone feels that way, naturally. But if it helps, just think there are probably people way less well off than you that have brought a child into this life and figured it out.

 

I went out on a date tonight with this girl I've been talking to for about a month. Went so bad, we couldn't keep a conversation going to save our lives. Towards the end of it I just couldn't stop thinking about where I was gonna get dinner when we gave up on the date.


Now im sitting here eating the best sandwich of my life and laughing about the radio edit for Kdots Element... think I'm done dating for a while

 

This is my nightmare.

 

Haha yup.

 

So, I just got an apology text

Edit: It wasn't civil long. Now "I'm not over my ex"

 

Ugh... so.. setbacks. Get down to MD and my girls boss tries to indian give her the off time she put in for, then her mom locked her out of their joint account cus she was nervous about me (because my family has said racist shit in the past, but I mean fuck... don't you think your daughter would've been long gone if she didn't know that wasn't me???? Not to mention... I just burned through all my money to take care of your daughter through YOUR SHIT so miss me with that bullshit).
So we're strapped for a place to live AND money now... so we went back to NY so she could see my friends and family and yada yada and try and regroup.
This really is a bummer but honestly I'm still super happy that shes just here with me. I hate so much the together/apart/together/apart shit... I love her too much to be turned away by the chance of another "Apart patch" while we figure this out, but I dread it, fear it, and genuinely would rather be homeless with her together, than regroup apart.

Just gonna do my best to enjoy the time we aint stressing the "Okay so what is our next move" convos and actions.

 

Be careful.

 

Please elaborate!

 

She sent a message saying "I want you to know I'm sory I hurt your feelings, I really love you"

When I responded I asked if she gave everything thought, and if we can move forward and not stay in the past. She responded "it is what it is" but I said it's not it is what it is, because I don't want this to be a recurring fight/argument. I told her the accusations were ridiculous. Then she went on a very long message about how her feelings were hurt too, and I don't ever think of other people's perspectives on things, and how I'm not in a rush to apologize.

I told her I didn't feel the need to apologize, because again I didn't see any difference in her ex getting mail, my ex getting mail, or the homeowner from 10 years ago getting mail. Then she went on to say that I'm not over my ex, and that I'm an asshole for not caring about her perspective. She does this a lot where she'll say something rude, and say "I'm not going to apologize for having feelings" Then we started going back and forth about the whole thing which was going nowhere and I eventually stopped responding.

 

Oof, so just took another loop around the carousel. I'd try better to have these conversations face to face rather than text. Text is so hard to have meaningful heart to hearts like this.

 

Yeah, it only started that way because she texted me. I would have preferred to have it face to face too, but I'm so frustrated right now, I feel like she's way too stubborn. I feel like after everything she said today, her apology couldn't have been sincere. For her to extend it to I'm not over my ex now?

 

It absolutely wasn't sincere, it's like she just wants to sweep it back under the rug til it inevitably comes back up sooner than later.

 

Which I feel like is inevitable when she said "it is what it is" almost like SHE'S willing to move past it for now, but I don't want it to resurface again

 

Well it's going back into the cycle you probably have been doing for years with her about it ya know? This time is no different! I think you need to have a super serious, dead honest, conversation with her about it. That's the only way, and be prepared for anything.

Hope i'm not being too drastic, i'm just trying to give you truth in the manner.

 

I just feel like I've let things go too easily in the past and it's definitely made things worse. She is so unwilling to ever truly admit wrongdoing, and I feel like she knows that I'm a pushover and will just admit wrongdoing even if there wasn't any on my end.

This is definitely the toughest, and most stubborn I've been before because I think her accusations are out of line, and I'm even more hurt today than yesterday for her to say I'm not over my ex. I feel like everything we've done, and been through, she should know where my heart is.