(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 173

I have always found that when you're someone's lesson - and as someone who has dated both, I have found this to be true most frequently with men, although not exclusively - you cannot be the one to benefit from that lesson. That regret he's talking about is what fuels the change.

In other words, they (meaning people whose personality and experiences are conducive to this phenomenon) have to lose something in order to change. It isn't a reflection on you, even though it feels that way. It's painful, it's cruel, it's shady, perhaps - but it doesn't mean you weren't worth it. Just means they weren't ready to meet you on the bridge. If they don't experience the loss, they remain complacent.

 

Thank you.... that's a really thoughtful point and I appreciate it immensely.

 

Of course. It was one of the most important lessons in love I've learned thus far so I'm glad I could help at all.

 

Ah OK. I wasn't sure what you were referring to when you said he regretted something.

The moving out thing is a real pain, but you need to do it. When my big break up happened, the girl in question left all her stuff at my flat for 6 months and that partly always had me feeling like maybe she'd come back. When it became clear (even to me) that she wasn't I told her to get her shit out of my flat. The move out day was absolute agony, but I quickly started to recover (in some ways) after that.

 

So, it seems like after what was a mostly promising date last weekend, I've now been ghosted. I can't help but think that after the amount of stuff which has happened with this one, that just going silent with no warning is a bit harsh. Is it really that hard to just drop me a message to say: "Sorry, this isn't working for me."

I'm not really sure how someone who preaches honesty, communication and respect can show so little of all of them.

 

Currently arguing with my long distance SO. Nothing worse since we won't see each other for a few weeks

 

ughhh that last line.
I know it's cheesy but at least you found out right away that they are completely hypocritical and disrespectful like that. Better to know now.

 

Laughably, she has just said something. She decided to wait a week, until midnight tonight to drop me a message to say we shouldn't see each other again. Got there in the end I suppose...

 

My friends tagged me in the "love your spouse challenge" only next to my name put "love your dog challenge", you know because my dog will feel more loved knowing I can share pictures of him on social media and is clearly the closest thing in my life to a significant other.

 

Oh :/ I guess better than nothing at all? Maybe? I don't know. I don't have a ton of experience with ghosting (from either end)

Oh, yikes. I'm sorry. I feel like that's the kind of thing people think is just a "joke" but it's really rude? Although having a little chuckle at your comment about your dog feeling more loved. I feel the same way when people type things directed at toddlers. I'm like ok your baby can't read facebook so...

 

I'm now listening to O-Town's "All or Nothing"... thanks. Seriously. This is a great song.

 

better than getting a Liquid Dreams vibe which I do here sometimes

 

Seriously, a good song.

I had this link so quickly ready because I was jamming out to it after I saw that post that I responded to.

 

Hahahaha yes! I had to double check which thread I was in. I just saw Otown (sans Ashley Parker Angel tho..) and that song is still a jam

edit: I really can't even handle that video

 

Thanks to this thread, I've now delved into a best of the 2000s playlist on Youtube and have listened to Avril, Hoobastank, Matchbox 20, Katy Perry, Creed, Britney Spears, N'Sync, etc. in the last hour +.

edit... this is probably better suited for the drunk thread, but oh well.

 

I feel like that's exactly what I need haha
but listening to music has been dicey. I literally cried to a fricken Rascal Flatts song that came on the 2000s music channel. Wat.

 

I don't know. Given that she'd ignored me all week I'd kind of got the message already and was just a bit pissed off, but didn't really feel bad any more. To send me that message when she did just means I get to have felt shitty twice over the same thing. The whole tone of her message was a bit weird too, which has not put me in the best of moods either.

Still, probably better off without that one. Back to the drawing board.

 

Back to square one. Dating is dumb

 

"Relationship" over. He slapped me in the face. Good that I found out now and not later!

 

whooaaa, fuck that guy!

 

Jesus christ that's awful!!

 

I'm so sorry bb. Hugs!

 

Dudes can be some awful human beings

 

There isn't anything that can be said, other than we are here if you need us for anything. Feel free to send any pm's, etc., if you want to talk. We all care about you.

 

Thanks y'all. I mean it. ❤️