(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 1405

Fuck James' phone

 

Happy birthday @dadbolt

 

Is that a bit y’all still do or what

 

Seems like I have differing views on divorce a bit but it's all good.

Also the thought of getting divorced and trying to get some other person to like me and marry me sounds fucking exhausting and awful

 

What’re your thoughts on divorce?

 

I am convinced people take screenshots with like red battery just to make people get angry at them

 

this me

 

I swear, my buddy and his wife look more and more alike with each passing year. Is that like a real thing? Or did he just happen to marry someone that lowkey looks like his sister?

 

Don’t kink shame

 

My friend and her boyfriend look like brother and sister. They even have the same hairstyle now

 

While I do agree with your point that it doesn't always mean failure, I disagree with the nonchalance of what it felt like most were saying in here. To me, if you go into marriage with a predisposition of "if it doesn't work out I can always divorce" it's not going to work and you're almost dooming it to fail.

Trust me, I get it, relationships and marriage is fucking brutally hard and doesn't always come easy for some and has to be worked at. I just feel like many times "the easy way out" is taken before things can be worked out or even cause for reasons not to work it out or change or whatever.

I'm not trying to be judgmental at all if I come across that way, I just have a bit of a problem with society today and immediately jumping to "let's get divorced" if something goes(sometimes) slightly wrong.

Of note: my parents divorced when I was 3, I don't remember much about it other than the custody hearing that I attended, but it was the right decision for my parents and I don't resent them at all for it. They are with their more suitable partners now.

 

i think divorce should be a last resort but the thing is everyone has their own thresholds, last straws, and definitions of happiness. the end of the road is different for everyone. the only woman i’ve ever truly seen a future with is the one i’m currently with who, ironically, is previously divorced. she still loves the idea of marriage though and just knows it was with the wrong guy that she met at too young of an age etc

perks of dating a divorcee: she is totally over spending money on a wedding and says if we get there she wants it to be in a backyard or something haha. down af with that

 

i was once with someone for almost five years and we didn’t really hit a rough patch or even have a real fight until 3 years in or so. once i saw that side of her i couldn’t unsee it and that lead to the unraveling. that’s a reasonable time for some people to meet, get engaged, and get married. if that happened i would have been divorced. you don’t always see every side of someone until it’s too late

 

I knew she had a red flag! I'm just glad it's a benign one that isn't actually an issue

 

Update.

Had another long talk last night, it was v tough. I ended up spending the night at my parents just so we could have some space. My parents and I had a really nice talk and I feel a bit of clarity since then. I really want to make things work with her. Even though I'm feeling these doubts now, I know that I still love her and am capable of feeling happiness with her.

I decided that I want to see a therapist and talk to them about all this. I've been putting off seeing one to talk about my depression for the past year or so, so I think this will be good to really get all my thoughts out there to someone who's trained to listen.

I appreciate all the good advice in here yesterday, it was a big help honestly.

 

I don't really know where to put this, I guess friendship is a kind of relationship so I'll put it here. Yesterday was not a very good day at all until I heard from my friend who I haven't seen in almost exactly two years, we met and my like my core group of friends and her just clicked perfectly, like peas in a pod. Then she went home for Christmas and got in a really bad car accident and had a bunch of weed on her (don't remember how it worked out but she got off okay) then moved to New Jersey and hasn't had a car/bit of a driving phobia so I haven't seen her since then. She should be coming to visit me/us this weekend. I can't fucking wait

 

I get that, and even agree that the mindset in a relationship is half the battle for sure. Thank you for explaining your viewpoints. Very much enjoy hearing someone out in here who have an opinion that goes against the majority of the thread.

 

perfectly said.

this makes me think of the episode of Friends where Chandler and Monica fight and Chandler says, "well, we had a good run" and Monica is like, "we're not breaking up, this is just what adults do. they fight sometimes."

i'm like Chandler - once i hit a bump in the road or get bored, goodbye. (this is why i'll never get married or have a long relationship and find people in long relationships / marriages fascinating. it's beyond my scope of comprehension)

 

Hey it’s coming up on your one year, right?

 

it sure is! can’t believe it’s only been a year tbh but it’s been wonderful the whole time

 

I get that! Congrats man.

 

Also, congrats to @Joe4th, too. Don’t want to leave him out of that.

 

Barenaked Ladies voice
it's been one year

 

So, kinda dry on conversations from all the apps I use. I’ve had zero luck with coffee meets bagel. It seems awful. Is it one of those places where you have to go past a paywall to even send messages? Also, okcupid seems awful too compared to what it was like a few years ago before dating my ex...well thinking back now I met my last ex on there lol

 

damn i forgot there was a period of time last year when y'all were just starting these relationships. nuts.