(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 1403

I was really really drunk when we were at Denton County Brewing Company when I was there in September and he was there and drunk me decided to try and be his bff and kaitie got mad at me and he kept walking past us while we were playing darts and I was like "hey man is that shirt from Old Navy or H&M?" and kaitie hit me and did the yell-at-someone-under-their-breath thing and said "STOP THAT!"

then somehow I thought a sewer drain was a balance beam and said it was like I was at the circus

 

Did you fall into the sewer where you came from?

 

That isn’t him name but Dylan drunk brain remembered it like that cause “he looks like a Sebastian”

And to think this isn’t even the stupidest things you did that night, you idiot.

 

I shoulda pushed him in when I had the chance

 

woulda been the best for everyone

 

I meant drunk.....on the word of god

 

you bonked a guy that looks like a sebastian ? oh brother what's next

 

Amen! I know that’s what I do

Lol he just dresses kinda fancy

 

Excuse me cups she's a lady

 

I just wanted to use the word bonk in a sentence so had to clumsily and obnoxiously throw it in there. no shade softskelly

 

Wow. I’m sorry :/ I’m glad you’ll get to spend your birthday together!
Welp, time to get married

I’m not trying to be insensitive I’ve just been watching a lot of 90 day fiancé and it seems like a plausible solution

 

One of my friends, a straight woman, married her friend (also a straight woman), because the latter needed a visa. They got engagement photos and everything to make it look legit. I think I’ve mentioned this before.

 

I'd like to see those pictures

 

I can text her.

 

if this was an @Mr. Serotonin post I would have a very different reaction.

 

charge your phone dog

also look at you tryna slide in at the end real slick like

 

Charge your phone

 

Charge your fuxking phone fuxk

 

Haha totally does!

She’s a great friend. But we also used to do the sex

 

Yo shut the fuck up about my phone I was in class!

 

Classrooms generally have outlets

 

That makes it worse pay attention stop being horny