(Reasons we're not having) Sex (and WoW) Thread NSFW • Page 50

His porn profile says he's 5'9 but bitch is shorter than me and I'm like 5'8 on a good day haha

 

Ha! I don't need warnings.

He's cute! And yeah, definitely at least my height.

edit: wait so he's a "bottom" right? is that just typical for shorter males or typecasting or something?

 

oh no if I can't trust porn stars to be 100% honest who can I trust

 

Still waiting for the day one of the frat guys I've had sex with ends up doing porn tho

 

I clicked that link at work and accidentally bookmarked it lol

 

{bored at work}

 

"Accidentally"

 

so you're telling us you're looking for new employment options then, i assume.

(because you're getting fired)

 

that's a title of a porno, I'm sure lol

 

Didn't have sex with him buuuut I just now randomly found a straight frat guy I had a couple classes/was paired up in a group project with on a gay porn site hahahaha

I'm 2 for 2

 

He was the dude that didn't do shit in the group tho, so at least now I know he was busy jerking off instead of writing his portion of the paper

 

I bet even in his porn he makes his colleague do all the work

 

How rude. One has plenty of time to jerk off and do papers.

 

Even his jerk off scene was as half-assed as his portion of the paper tbh

 

So my girlfriend came home from work yesterday with a great story about one of her coworkers.

She works at a medical supply shop, and she had a customer come in who was telling her about a new medical supply webstore. While describing what all the store offered the lady whispered "yeah... they have a bunch of rubber penises on there too but I just scroll past them really quickly."

Intrigued, my girlfriend hopped on the website and was looking through everything. While looking, her 64 year-old female coworker came up behind her and the following conversation occurred:

Coworker: "What's that?!"
Gf: "Uhh vibrators."
Coworker: "Yeah, I know that, but what is that little thing on the front of it? Is it just for decoration?"
Gf: "No? Its for clitoral stimulation."
Coworker: "I don't know what this is..."

So my girlfriend explains to her in detail what clitoral stimulation is. When she's done, the coworker sincerely ponders it for quite some time and then responds "nah... I don't think I'll ever do that."

SHES FUCKING 64 YEARS OLD.

 

Uninteresting Fact of the Day: My ex had an ear fetish. This worked out in her favor considering people have been calling me Dumbo since 1st grade.

 

I dated a guy who licked all in my ears and I hated it.

 

Strange

 

That doesn't sound even a little bit pleasant.

 

How does one act on such a fetish?...

 

I can be stimulated through the ears.

 

I have definitely had people go a bit too far with the ear licking

 

is that what Iggy Pop meant when he said he had it in the ear before

 

this dynamic is so weird on TNG. multiple times human women are like "wait, Ferengi ears are erotic zones? well my ears aren't so that's not weird at all if i get u off, total stranger"