After moving to Taiwan I was very lonely and didn’t do much outside of my apartment other than go to old temples and shrines to take photos. I met a girl and she became my good friend with maybe the potential for more. She told me that she was moving to Australia sometime over summer. I told myself that night that I could either walk away or just look forward for possible heartbreak. I decided on the second option because somethings just aren’t meant to last and shouldn’t be treated like they will. I still don’t regret it. Months go by and she and I spend a lot of our time together. We never were intimate but she would sleep over, we would play games, go on hikes, etc. We talked about being more serious but we both knew we were going to be miles apart so we didn’t explore that, although, we both obviously had feelings. Summer comes around and we ended up both leaving Taipei (I was going back to the US to visit) and stopping in Singapore (pure coincidence) and during the 8-hour layover we spent time walking around and talking and I gave her a note I made with some photos that I compiled of our time together. It sucked leaving and getting my last glimpse of her from behind the security glass, but that’s life. I’m back in Taiwan and things haven’t really felt the same. My closest friend is gone and I’m back to square one. I’m unsure about where I live in a year, either still in Taiwan or another country, so I’m not wanting to date. She messaged me today to let me know she needs to be alone (working full time and pursuing more education for job opportunities) and while I expected to be upset over it, I’m oddly not. I’m happy and excited. I’m happy that she is doing what her heart is guiding her to do. Sure, I have felt a bit empty being here while she isn’t, but knowing that she is being able to do what so many others wish they could do is amazing. After all, I also decided to move to a new country by myself so I completely understand her heart’s desire to do the same. This is a lot of word salad and I’m not sure what I’m exactly trying to say but her doing what makes her happy and knowing that it’s not just a dream anymore is enough to make me happy and each day I know she is living her dream I will be happy and grateful that I met her. Getting her text helped me focus on that and not on me feeling empty. It’s also letting me know that she is focusing on the future, not the past that we had here. I just hope to get a good update from her, eventually, about her time in Australia.
I'm finally starting to get somewhere with my new collection(s) of poetry. sent half of them over to my editor today, and I'm going to try and get the rest out tomorrow so I can hopefully release before the end of the month
Clerks 3 is doing the touring thing. There was only one showing at my theater last night lol Barbarian was good! People say to go in cold and I agree, but I wish I didn't even know about the hype around it. I was expecting something deeper and my brain kept trying to figure out some big reveal and that isn't the point. It's just a really wild, fun, well-acted and directed horror film that is absolutely worth watching with friends.