Pinegrove - Skylight (September 28, 2018) Album • Page 39

exploiting a situation to get clicks is not good

 

you know what's worse? ignoring the situation altogether and contributing to the silence this scene harbours about abuse and holding abusers accountable for their actions

 

and the way to fix this is really bad journalism?

 

I take what I can get. Do you really think anything else would have made her expose herself? She's proved she's not the type to reply to people's concerns on social media and nobody is gutsy enough/able to go ask her to her face.

 

I don’t think Nandi would say the same thing if she wasn’t put on the spot and forced to make a statement immediately.

And believe me, I am in no way in support of her statement here. But I think sometimes having a thought process helps

 

Fair, but at least it was sincere ; it doesn't matter how many pretty words she puts over it, the reality is that she feels like this about Evan. Sure, it'd have made it look more sensitive, like that Pinegrove statement that looks okay but doesn't even mention the victim once, but the content would have been the same, she wouldn't have been suddenly saying "oh I'm not collaborating with pinegrove on the grounds that Evan is refusing accountability".
The thing that's abundantly clear, though, is that we wouldn't have gotten a statement at all if she hadn't been put on the spot, so I don't feel like it's useful to speculate what she could have said or not said. At that point we're just pegging our image of what we would want her to be on her.

 

feel like there's a better way to do this than ask anyone ever associated with an abuser pointed questions about extremely personal and mostly private situations with the aim of "cancelling" them should they not give the exact answer you're looking for on the spot

 

td;lr things said without reflection can often be brash or dumb without trying to be or might not get the point across and people should be given the opportunity to think out a statement or response but the problem here is that it doesn't matter what nandi says about it, what she's doing is wrong and also if given that opportunity she wouldn't take it

 

I don't think supporting and enabling an abuser is a personal or private matter when both persons are public figures and money is involved. Also my aim isn't to "cancel" anyone. That's way too surface-level and it achieves nothing

also this isn't a matter of her stating something a bit off the mark, she's out of the realm of acceptability

 

This, pretty much. Even after Nandi was asked we still have no information about what's going on behind the scenes re: Evan and his victim rn. What she said was kinda disappointing and not encouraging but there's no point in continuing to talk circles about it.

If they put out some lame ass "he's better now!" statement and try to carry on business as usual and Nandi is still backing them statement, yeah that's a real problem. That hasn't happened yet

 

Well, she's given nothing but bad signs so I won't be giving her the benefit of the doubt and I won't forgive her and I don't think this is only "kinda" disappointing. We should take this shit seriously or none of these people are ever, ever going to stop. This is a CLEAR red flag.

 

Also, if there's a better way, one that will work, please spell it out for me so I can start right now

 

I don't really have one. I'm not going to tell you what you "should" do or try to talk you down from your feelings on the situation bc they are completely valid and telling people not to call out abuse/perpetuating behavior where they see it is dangerous.

I'm just speaking for me personally in that I still know so little (exactly as much as before Nandi said anything) about what happened and what's going on with Evan right now that I'm not going to shoot Nandi down over an on the spot response she made in response to a question that probably shouldn't have been asked. I'm still disappointed in what she said, obviously

 

nope, and neither do you.

 

You don’t have to do this. Seriously it’s super easy to just not be the one online stanning for someone that admits to hurting women. It’s the easiest thing in the world to not be this person.

 

Considering the people who actually know about this and are on the victim's side are very unhappy with what's going on I think it's very complacent and unhelpful to be distrusting them and instead be erring on the side of giving Nandi goodwill she hasn't done anything to deserve.
If we truly want to make abusers and their enablers unwelcome in this scene I don't think coddling people who exhibit enabling behaviour is the way to go at all. Making them uncomfortable is a necessity and I insist these questions should be asked because at least, they disrupt an unacceptable status quo.
I think we've been nice long enough and it hasn't done this scene any good at all. It only helped this shit thrive because everyone knows they can get away with it. I understand you're acting in a way you feel is understanding or fair, but I can guarantee it's not helping anyone who actually matters in this situation.

 

there's definitely no point defending nandi or evan in this situation based on what we know

 

Oh okay, I'll have a look, cheers.

 

What a bummer.

 

Yeah I don't think that was bad journalism. This is a topic that's important to the band's fans, Nandi is a member of that band, it's fair to ask her about it. I didn't see it as exploitative either - especially since the quote is towards the bottom of an article about her other band's show, and the author didn't mention the issue till then.

In fact, this journalist would have failed at his job if he didn't ask her about it, in my opinion.

 

I think it's okay if people don't agree on this tiny detail tbh

 

Actually it does matter. If it is amazing you’re just not going to listen? Or when you DO eventually listen (and you know you will) will you just tell yourself it’s not good if you do end up liking it?

I just don’t see the point in lying about it. If it’s good it’s good. A shit person can still make good music. ‍♂️

 

I think you missed the point, hoss

 

No I didn’t, that’s just the part I decided I had something to say about.

 

The point that was being made (and Jesse lemme know if I’m wrong) was that regardless if it’s great or not, it doesn’t deserve the fanfare or acclaim because of how he abused his platform. Nobody is going to bust down your door and take you away for listening to or even enjoying it. Live your life, guy.