Pinegrove - Skylight (September 28, 2018) Album • Page 22

My issue with the hostility and weirdness in this thread is that, again, we don't know the entire events of the situation and don't even know if the victim wants this info to be public/discussed. I think discussions are needed regarding power dynamics and fan/artist interactions, but shaping it around this situation and plugging in details that we don't even know is weird to do, imo, at least until more info comes out. On both sides, too. Limiting the victim in this scenario to someone blindly in love with a rock star who was taken advantage of is demeaning.

Like, I look on Twitter and there are people immediately saying that this is bullshit and there are "real" abusers out there who need to be stopped and acting as allies as if the statement Evan, the accused, gave is the facts.

At the same time, the people calling for Pinegrove to be "cancelled" or talking about how they never liked them or "I told you so" or w/e are jumping the gun unless they know more information than what has been released.


I don't mean this to be one of those bullshit statements like the ones people put out when women came forward about Jesse. The alleged abuser is the one who has control of the story ATM, which makes me side eye the entire statement.

 

i will say that I saw the victim did post a now deleted post from last night using a lot of the same language Evan did, if that helps inform anything

 

So... should a band not even comment on anything until someone who was abused comes forward?

 

I moved my questions about this into the Accountability in Music thread.

That's a tough situation to discuss. How is the band made aware of the allegations? Does the victim want the situation to become public? I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all resolution to the problem.

 

Maybe cite "personal reasons/conflicts" and send that band member on a hiatus, if the band can continue without that member then do so... but clearly if it's a known issue in the band then yeah it's better to discontinue than to just shrug and keep going.

If they felt that guilty conscience need to confess, just say "I've been irresponsible in my interactions with fans and I feel I need to step away and re-establish my priorities."

 

Yes

 

It's weird because we went from "bands just say something because they got caught" in the brand new thread to "bands shouldn't make statements" in this thread, and I see validity in both arguments.

 

"Band" is different than the singular person who was accused, as well. I don't really ever think there should be a situation where the abuser comes forward with a singular narrative first, unless requested to do so by the victim, which doesn't seem to be the case here since Evan speaks about privacy.

 

Handle your shit privately and if the victim wants to go public let them have full control of the narrative. There's no reason to publicly apologize. Anytime someone publicly apologizes it comes off as performative and an attempt to control the narrative themselves.

 

having lived in the same town as him for a few years and having a few unfortunate run ins with him, i feel pretty safe saying he’s an extremely weird dude

 

Not trying to argue here — I think I agree with you — but could this lead to the band/the accused being criticized and lambasted for “igorning the sitation”?

Just trying to work out my feelings and learn.

 

I’m so confused by the statement, so I guess mission accomplished?

Also, re: the timing of statements, this is a little different than, for example, the Louis C.K. situation. Those allegations had been publicly discussed for years before he finally spoke out; here, we’re literally finding out about the allegations from the accused before the accuser has even said her piece. It’s one thing to immediately respond to an allegation, another to brush it under the rug and ignore it for years, and another entirely to try and shape the narrative yourself preemptively. Again, the statement is confusing as hell and we don’t know the whole truth, so yeah. Just confused.

 

Possibly, but when the alternative is opening up the victim to attacks and scrutiny they otherwise wouldn't get I think that's a small price to pay

 

Example: People are blasting the rest of BN for not saying something, but what could they say? The only thing worth saying is, "stop witch hunting the people who have come forward."

 

Stop harassing the victims
The band is done
We don’t support Jesse’s behavior
We don’t want to be associated with Jesse any longer
We support the accusers and believe them and you should too

Just for starters.

 

Damn this one is tricky and we are missing a lot of information.. hard to know what to think right now... he may have been trying to do the right thing and take ownership before it came out to stop the “oh he’s just coming forward bc he got caught”... type of thing. It may come off a little like trying to control the narrative but for now I’m choosing to believe that wasn’t his intention

 

@cwhit wait so she did post something yesterday? but then deleted it?

 

This is completely different than the accused making a statement. Other band members should probably make a statement distancing themselves from the offender and showing support for the victims

 

Like when the lead singer of gaza was accused of rape the other members just said we're out and started a new band. That's a good thing to do

 

yup. good musician but weird at times (not surprising being that he's so tight with sam)

 

i said what i said. not sharing anything else due privacy matters

all i'm saying is that he didn't just "jump the gun"

 

fair enough, wasnt meaning to try and get anything more. sorry.

 

Some of those ambiguous tweets from bands also make me wonder about the cheating aspect of what's mentioned here. Someone could've been good friends with whoever the other guy was. Ugh. I'm about to stop commenting on this, I don't know what good it can do unless we know more info, which I know we aren't owed in any way.

 

sarah from for everest:



tons of very good points, even if evan is going through the proper steps, look at all the women he was giving platforms to now not having them because of evan's behavior