Discussion in 'Article Discussion' started by Melody Bot, Nov 21, 2017.
it was a super vague statement that was just his side, so i'm having a hard time digesting any of it
And I think that's very understandable that you can't. But I'd add that it's impossible for him to communicate her side (and he shouldn't try) - so I think it reinforces the point that a public figure can't rectify these situations with a statement, nor should they try. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean they shouldn't make statements, or bringing it back to the Brand New example, they clearly should have made a statement against those that were targeting the victim(s).
I agree, he shouldn't tell her story. People get mad when there is a statement, and made when there isn't. I just don't understand what the expectation is.
and yeah, the other members of BN should have stated not to harass the accusers.
I just feel that we are at a point where we are hearing a different statement every day from a 'celebrity' accused (or about to be accused) of sexual assault, rape, coercion, etc, that it's to the dangerous point where people are focusing on and analyzing and comparing the statements made by the accusers than they are focusing on the actions of the accuser.
Over the past few weeks, I've heard posters say things like (not just on this situation) 'it's good he said this' 'i wish he said this' 'i'm glad he's doing this' etc. but none of that distracts from the fact the act was committed.
Yes, statements need to be made, but I feel like people are going a little too far on trying to hang on every word of every statement as if that changes the fact something really, really terrible happened.
Lol! Just what I was thinking. Can't win.
That's a very fair criticism. I think you're right that often in the absence of substantial detail regarding the action (not that we the public are the priority audience for that detail), people then resort to evaluating statements, because we inherently want to debate and discuss the issues, and that's often the only thing available.
Unfortunately as you say, it can lead to distraction from the act itself, or project that one act is less bad than another, when in fact debating (intentionally or not) the severity of the acts is counterproductive and disrespectful to the victim.
Right...without any context, this just makes no sense.
The reason so many people are pissed off about Brand New (among other bands) is that the girls were all underage and consequently not mature enough to make those kinds of decisions. Hence why it was manipulation coming from someone these girls adored. If the girl in question in this scenario was an adult, I'm not sure what the issue was.
There's too much vagueness and not enough context from the victim or Evan to make a judgement call on any of this in my opinion. Of course, that could change if more details surface or if anyone has other pre-existing statements from others that they could provide.
That said, the line about him being able to determine which fans of his would sleep with him based on how they look at him while he's performing is super gross.
I suppose we will find more in the future, but this almost smells of someone who realize they screwed up and feels they should have stayed with their ex. Once again, ambiguity is very hard to read.
Just because she is an adult, it doesn’t mean that everything was necessarily consensual, so that could be an issue. But this statement is so vague, it mostly seems like he’s just guilty of being in a relationship while in a position of power at all. But I do think there is probably a lot more to this whole story.
Note* - we clearly don’t know everything and I’m interpreting his message with info we have.
People are attracted to a lot of different things. Money, power, looks, humor, fame, platform, sexuality, emotional intelligence, etc
I think everyone gets to choose what they value as an adult and go for what interests them. Choosing to interact with someone operating in a more powerful social position, does not automatically mean the more powerful party is coercing the other. His statement makes it sounds like any person in band is crossing a line if they decide to romantically interact with an adult fan. That seems to be an overreaction and flat out wrong.
I don’t know where this whole thing is going, but I think this statement is gonna cause a bigger stink than he anticipated.
Hopefully what he did, is nowhere near as extreme as what Jesse did. And atleast it appears, the “scene” is rallying to defend the victim and demonize his actions.
Yeah I think he's just playing it safe. He's probably worried that something will come out, even if it's untrue and/or harmless what he did.
HE'S LITERALLY ADMITTING IT IN THIS POST WHAT THE FUCK
I've read this multiple times. He admits to a relationship with a fan that we regarded as mutual and consensual and that he may have misread it, but nothing bad really came out of it. He seems afraid that because of this status/power, people may view it negatively, especially since he made that comment to the crowd (which is exactly that, just a comment).
Yes he could be leaving out a big portion that he feels really guilty and ashamed about, but we don't know that. I really do think that because of everything going on lately, its getting to him and he's just beginning to get nervous/scared about something.
my actions have caused someone i care about deep emotional pain and i am so sorry.i have been accused of sexual coercionstill, i am coming to terms with the fact that i monumentally misread the situation.it is an apology to the person i hurt and to the people i disappointed: my bandmates, my friends, my family, our fans. i’m so sorry. i have never felt remorse like this before. i will think about how i could have been better in this situation for as long as i live.
Did you? Did you though? Your response was "even if it's untrue and/or harmless what he did."
my actions have caused someone i care about deep emotional pain and i am so sorry.
i have been accused of sexual coercion
still, i am coming to terms with the fact that i monumentally misread the situation.
it is an apology to the person i hurt and to the people i disappointed: my bandmates, my friends, my family, our fans. i’m so sorry. i have never felt remorse like this before. i will think about how i could have been better in this situation for as long as i live.
Okay but he doesn't actually say what he did and I think he believes he hurt this person because he says he's been "accused of sexual coercion" and that he's "coming to terms with the fact" that he misread the situation. He misread it, it happens. So he's apologizing. We've all misread situations before.
Why are you like this?
Just because you “misread” a situation and did things that hurt someone else, doesn’t mean you get a free pass.
Obviously. I’d feel bad too but I wouldn’t apologize to the world for it cuz it’d be between her and me.
I have also read the statement multiple times and I don’t know what coercion went on.
He says he hurt someone then sort of backtracks by explaining why he thought what he did was fine and how their relationship went down.
Clearly he thinks something he did was wrong, and others in the scene agree. I just don’t think most people have any idea what that something actually is.
True we don't know exactly what he did, but what he says (and the fact he's saying something at all) clearly demonstrates it isn't "untrue" or "harmless" - which I think is why Jason called out the other poster for suggesting it could be untrue and harmless.
I also imagine he got called out because this isn’t the first time he’s posted callout worthy things, if I remember right.
Willfully ignorant and continually sexist.
My initial response after reading this a couple times was the above. But...
Jason laid it out very well here, even though I should have picked up on it on my own. The fact that we have little information of the details of the incident doesn't matter once you really read his statement. He is admitting to causing emotional pain to a person by misreading the situation that he states is most likely caused by the power he had over the person due to his status as a rather popular musician. Yes the whole ordeal seems complicated, but when you examine Evan's admittance in his statement and less on the details, it makes things a little easier to understand.
So whatever happened, he is acknowledging he did something wrong - and that sucks for the victim. And a great quote from the other article posted today, "Accountability can be defined only by the victim of the abuse".