Movies That Didn’t Actually Happen • Page 5

Twilight maybe

 

That some sort of monthly subscription where I get taxidermied birds shipped to my house?

 

Lol I grew up in Montana, where that author wrote that book so it was HUGE when I was a kid

 

Is Vin Diesel not in them anymore? I thought he was one of the regulars still(I've only seen through Tokyo Drift)

 

He was not in the second film, and then Diesel and Walker were not in Tokyo Drift (outside of a Diesel cameo). It seemed like it was winding down, but then the actors came back and it became a huge franchise.

 

Netflix hits feel like cheating almost. Tiger King aired two months ago and already it’s a dead topic

 

It’s Redbox but for birds

 

You must not have a lot of middle-aged co-workers on social media.

 

the social media equivalent of these kinds of movies is that if it didn’t happen on twitter then it doesn’t matter

 

My Big Fat Greek Wedding is an interesting case. It was SUCH a small movie, but it came out at the perfect time and touched a nerve that no one expected. It was wholesome enough for all ages without being pandering to any of them, so it was huge with families (I remember it specifically as one of the few movies I saw with my grandparents in a theater). The leads were believable as real people who were genuinely into each other, so it worked as a romantic comedy. The family element was handled in a way where its specificity made it relatable to anyone with a big or blended family instead of just being a broad parody.

Plus it was just a “nice” movie at a time when I think a lot of people really wanted that. The conflicts were important enough that it felt like the film had stakes, but no one is a villain and no one’s life gets ruined and there’s no late in the movie fight where you think the whole thing will fall apart. It’s just two people falling in love and two different families being themselves but letting go of some control to become happier people.

I’ve read some pieces on its surprising success and impact over the years, maybe I can find one of those again.

 

I feel like “Miss Peregrine’s Hope for Peculiar Children” is a good contender. Big-budget movie based on a book. Directed by Tim Burton. Made $300 million. I’ve never heard anyone speak of it.

 

Enders Game

 

That’s a great one. So many of my favorites making up the cast, based on a book I love, saw it in theaters. Haven’t independently thought of it a single time since it came out.

 

I think musical adaptations are the best for this because they are either huge successes or they flop and no in between

 

I was going to mention Nine earlier but I figured you and I reference it too much, lol.

 

The Ides of March

 

I’d say aside from Frankenweenie, every Burton movie of the past decade fits

 

I never read the books but I remember going into it so excited about the cast and then it just kinda happened. I vaguely remember a weird animated sequence in a tree.

 

Funnily enough that scene is what I remember the most as well, and was one of the closest to the source. It was weird in the book too. Unfortunately the author is a terrible person so it’s not a series I can recommend without reservations, but I read the first at a pretty important time in my life so I always have fond feelings.

 

Hm I am always looking for a new book to read but the author being a terrible person definitely makes me hesitant to dive in to that.

 

Since the thread just got bumped, I completely forgot they made another Bourne movie a few years ago. I barely remember it being rebooted, and I couldn’t have told you Damon did one after that to save my life.

 

Jeremy Renner may be the only actor who doesn't exist