Moose Blood Remove Drummer Following Accusations • Page 3

+1. what their drummer did is fucked regardless, but it really seems like there's more to this story and nobody in the band wants to talk about it. really disappointed.

 

victim's account of the incident here.

 

According to this girl's twitter, she's been talking about this online for the better part of a year. It's only recently gotten much attention but I find it hard to believe that the band is just finding out. This statement is non-committal, doesn't even include an apology, and doesn't address the allegations against Eddy. so yeah, fuck this band.

 

IF that's true, that is insane. Even more disheartening than usual, considering he has a wife and child too. Apparently they didn't tour North America for a while because he was afraid of leaving his daughter for that long, if he went from that to stealing a irl' and nudes....

 

Had to do a double take when I saw your username lmao

 

Well that's really not the best scenario either. No justification for any actions like that, but you took nudes, and then the second some guy you don't know starts scrolling wouldn't you snatch the damn phone away? Say stop? You let him look at multiple photos? Not just one? And then you watched him take photos and said nothing? I'm sorry but that paints a picture of somebody complicit at 19, an adult age, bejng okay with being seen nude. Then for it to become a big deal to you once somebody else's story is making a valid case against the band? Idrk, it's always hard in my opinion to completely convict somebody for life over a Tumblr post. My thoughts and sympathy to any woman who was sexually harassed by anyone in this band. This woman included.

 

The scenario you present - of the girl being complicit because she didn't stop him - is completely devoid of context and of the realities of the way women (in general, but especially in this scene) - are conditioned to be "cool". It's more likely that as it was happening, she was stunned, humiliated, and just wanted to pretend it hadn't happened afterwards. It isn't nearly as easy as saying "no" or snatching your phone back, especially in context.

Which, by the way, is exactly how a lot of PHYSICAL assaults occur. Victim blaming helps exactly nobody.

Food for thought.

 

Nothing of what I said was victim blaming. You have to consider all details of the event. To me, it sounds like a situation she was comfortable with at the time, and then she later changed her opinion. That's all.

 

Consider whatever you like but this is literally victim-blaming: you are suggesting that the person this violation was committed against was complicit and, as a result, responsible for what was done to her. Not sure what you think victim blaming is.

"some guy you don't know starts scrolling wouldn't you snatch the damn phone away? Say stop? You let him look at multiple photos? Not just one? And then you watched him take photos and said nothing? I'm sorry but that paints a picture of somebody complicit at 19, an adult age, bejng okay with being seen nude."

You're free to speculate that she was okay with it. However - she's saying she wasn't, and it says more about your lack of similar personal experiences than the reality for most young women that you seem unable to imagine that the scenario she describes is true.

 

Yeah, well I guess I'm an asshole. I'm literally telling you how her story reads to me, and that it sounds like at the time she was okay with it, but is now telling the story in a way that pushes the issue at hand. Like I said, if the situation is what she says it was, then fuck the band and their shitty actions. I think lines become blurred when you're trying to decide on specific occurrences that seem to be mutually consented. No one I have ever met, male or female, would allow anyone to search through their phone if they didn't want them to. The band is going to physically assault her if she were to take her phone away? Come on.

 

i mean, all victim blaming aside (you are doing that), is there even any evidence that this actually happened the way you're saying it did? or are you just conjecturing entirely how she responded to it in order to rationalize the fact that you think she's at least partly to blame for this

 

I didn't call you an asshole. I will say that you are being very dismissive - whether or not you behave like an ass is your call. I would have to impart a lifetime of women's experiences into your mind to adequately explain this to you but the short answer is, yes. Women allow men to cross lines ALL THE TIME that we are not comfortable with for a multitude of reasons ranging from simply being shocked that the violation is taking place to fear of being ostracized to fear of being physically harmed and back again. It happens all the time, every single day, and is not at all difficult to imagine coming from that scope of experience. I am not asking you to understand that. I'm asking you to accept that you don't. It is real, it is valid - and by the way, women ARE attacked all the damn time for simply telling men "no".

There is no appearance of mutual consent here - that line shouldn't have been crossed in the first place. (Note: I don't think you're disputing that, it just bears saying.) The onus of responsibility is on them for being disgusting in the first place, not her for failing to stop it.

 

Imagine this. You're a 19 year old girl and your favorite band is going to stay at your house for the night bc they need a place to crash. I'm sure she was completely taken aback when they started acting like a bunch of assholes and screenshoting her nudes. It's easy to say "why didn't she just take the phone out of his hand?" Well she was probably embarrassed and didn't want to seem like she was annoyed bc of them being her favorite band. When you're in that situation during that moment, you're essentially alone so you don't have someone to back you up so ya just let it go. This is really no different than the Bill Cosby case. Everyone questions why they didn't speak up sooner and it's part embarrassment of having to put yourself out there and will anyone believe me. That's why once one person has the guts to say something everyone comes out of the woodwork bc now they have a team. I'm not sure I explained the way I see these situations properly but dude, you have no idea how you'd react bc you have the mentality of a male who can't put himself in a females shoes.

 

I remember being a teen. Oh man, if a band I liked was staying at my house I would be ecstatic and trying so hard to be cool and down with them. Tbh I'd probably still feel that way now. There's always that pressure to seem chill and cool with things in front of certain types of people. Idk maybe I'm just insecure lol, but I totally get why someone would do that

 

I can't act like I know what it is like to physically be a female, but hey, I've had an ex who I still had feelings for, who left me for a close friend after 4 years come up to me in a bar, grab me by the groin, and tell me she still thought about "it." The next day, she told me she didn't remember it and lied about who she went home with. Do you know what that made me feel like? Or is it that being a male, I am not allowed to have empathy or understanding of what sexual harassment is?

I still simply explained that the girls story sounds circumstantial to me, and that a quickly typed up Tumblr post doesn't seem as condemning to me or factual as it is to others on here.