I agree with you about option 2 and have done it to an extent, which has worked to an extent, but not 100% to where I'd want. Will have to be option 1 soon, and pray to God they don't try and be manipulative afterward. Appreciate the advice.
Update on doc: We talked and I told her everything I said in my original post. She said she's used to working with people who don't give a shit about the patients. She said I see you in here busting ass and your bedside manner is unlike anything I've ever seen and I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart that I treated you like you did. That really struck me bc I don't want recognition bc I really do love what I do but it's nice to know that someone sees how hard I work to make people feel like they matter. I mean I teared up and I know I'm a crier but we're gonna be ok. Talk to people y'all. It's where misconceptions are fixed and where acceptance comes from. What if I hadn't taken the initiative to talk to her? I'd have an enemy and be miserable. It's hard but in the end it's the best solution. I think I've made it clear but love y'all times a million. ❤
I hear ya'. I go to work during the day and I sit at home alone when I'm off. I try to do stuff when I can but between saving money and being antisocial as shit, activities are few and far between. Whether it's physical or mental, I never feel like I never have the energy to leave the house.
life is hard and pointless. having an identity crisis because of everything i've been talking about for so long just suddenly hitting me all at once. i don't like my life.
I hate this for you bc you're a really good person and an an amazing MENA advocate. I didn't know shit about it until I met you and I think I could prob hold my own in a convo about it now. You know I care about you a ton and I'm always here to listen if you need me. It sucks to not get the recognition you deserve with MENA, Safe Scene, etc.
My family tries to demonize me for some weird reasons since I'm very light hearted (outside my own mental shit & relationships - i take those 2 VERY seriously) and refuse to take on their paranoias and inferiority complexes. They want me to adhere to their desires and expectations of what they want of me (Which somehow always ends in me being around to flip their bill regardless what i sacrifice for them in the mean time to stay and flip their bill). I'm by no means perfect I have my own voices in my head an demons but I will say in a somewhat "Give myself credit" fashion I ALWAYS try and be decent and assume best of ppl and situations since I'd want the same from me. That said they do not. At all and it shows in how they treat even each other in our own family. My sister will call our mom a whore, tell our dad she hopes he dies of cancer, and tell me how my fiancee doesn't love me (and even drew me pictures of a teddy bear hanging itself saying "Goodbye lil bear" (with a bear hanging from a tree) when I wrote her something saying I'm tired of you treating everyone with disrespect claiming I'm responsible for how shitty I'm treated & life is (suggesting I kill myself). and thats one of em. Yet... I'm the bad guy for being lax and at worst bringing nukes to knife & gun fights (when I'm tired of the bullshit aka being the punching bag in the name of avoiding extra stupid shit)? lol
Absolutely - my thing sort of worked itself out - but I had to tell her how I felt in a reasonable and logical way. I do not like confrontation online, I hate it with a passion IRL - but I'm very glad that I said how I felt, regardless of the outcome.
This fucked me up https://themighty.com/2017/03/hones...utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Mighty_MH_Page
When I had facebook I made a long post about bipolar and it was shared a lot. I couldn't read the comments it was so upsetting.
Tonight I got a message from a person whose messages typically don't mean very good things in terms of my life. I'm not comfortable going into detail on this forum but to anyone who reads this post, could I just ask for some good vibes, positive thoughts, prayers, etc, not for me, but for a girl who deserves so much better than the lot she was handed in life? For someone who has lived through trauma I could never even begin to understand? Because I think the biggest mistake I've made when getting this person's messages is believing that they signify something bad for me, when really, they signify a time of crisis for someone who struggles with crisis pretty much every day. I apologize for the vagueness and haphazard manner of this post. I'm just so torn and feel so heavy after tonight.
I helped my two best friends move into their house today, and I'm so happy for them. Driving home tonight made me incredibly sad. I hate that I'm still stuck at my parents house. I hate that I have a job I enjoy doing but still can't support myself with it because of how much I'm forced to pay back in student loans each month. I wish more than anything I could go back in time and go to community college instead of going away. It feels like there's no end in site paying this loan off, and I feel like I'm never going to be able to have my own life. I'm just exhausted from it.
Just watched What Dreams May Come, and Dead Poets Society. Not sure why I did that to myself. A couple of the saddest movies ever made.
Tyty it's just sometimes very hard to think about. Regarding MENA stuff, I have a blog I want to publish. As for SS - Anna and Autumn are supposed to be on a podcast very soon. so if that works out, I would hope @Jason Tate posts it as news on here so it reaches as many people as possible. I'll submit it to the q. We are still doing a Friday feature thanks to @Spencer Control and we just published an interview. Well if you're following on Twitter you'd know haha.
It's death by seroquel if I stop posting. I cannot express how uncomfortable it is. I take my recommended dose along with my Zyprexa. It gives me a headache, restless legs, and that stuffy nose I'm always talking about.
I was on seroquel for about a month once. Turned me into a half awake zombie. Abilify and wellbutrin were the worst. Abilify made me unable to be still.....lying down would make me angry. Wellbutrin turned me into a puddle of tears.
It's so fucked that something you need for your mind, body, spirit to work correctly is unaffordable. I just want to scream from the rooftops that mental health fucking matters more than your goddamn money, Big Pharma. I'm so angry like I haven't been this angry in a long time.
yeah people shouldn't be making millions off of essentially people dying and being sick it's fucked up, it's not just mental health obviously, they're doing it with medicine for everything