Mental Health Thread • Page 57

What bugs me most about myself is that I have a lot of potential and I hardly, if ever, tap into it.

 

every year i'm like "i need a break"
but then shit happens anyway.

the past few months have been so rough.

 

Fuck, I'm in the same place. I don't know how to even get through the rest of the year without having a breakdown at this point.

3 *hug*

 

Okay I know I whine about this like 5x a day, but this rando situation is killing me. And the biggest frustration isn't even the randos themselves. I told my rm it was impacting my mental health for them to be here. I am a hermit and my self care is chilling at home either alone or with people I know and trust. I have a job where I hear and see some extremely traumatic things and I need to be able to take care of myself. I told my rm this and she said she was soooo sorry and felt horrible, but she's still not putting her foot down and telling them to leave. She insists she's being blunt but when I ask her what she says, she doesn't respond. I know I'm extremely non-confrontational and passive myself so when I think I'm being blunt sometimes I'm actually not. idk if she's suffering from the same thing but either way I'm over it. When she does respond to me she apologizes profusely and validates all my feelings, but then nothing changes. It's like what I say or feel doesn't matter. I feel very disrespected. Now she said they'll be out once they get back from their trip, which I think they leave this weekend and get back next week. But idek what to believe. She did say they'd be staying here for a week and its been over a month!! I'm honestly not sure what to do if they don't leave by next week. I kinda browsed for other places to live just to see what's out there and there's nothing lol.

 

My self worth is pretty much at rock bottom. I don't feel good about myself. Not my appearance, my personality, my general instability.

All of this is just getting even worse as my group continues to not listen to what I say because they keep (seemingly) brushing my concerns off as being negative. I have legitimate, logistical concerns and they just respond with "no it's cool, we got this, I know it!". No, we don't got this and I just want them to listen to me.

 

I don't have anything helpful to offer but I wanted to say that I cannot wait until you finally get to share with us that the rando is gone. Gonna be so pumped for you.

 

Seriously. I want to throw her a damn party when that happens.

 

You and me both. I was under the impression they were leaving next week but since my rm messaged me freaking out that they wanted to bring a bed in? Now I'm like uhhhh why would someone do that if they're leaving soon.

 

too bad you can't ghost your roomie, well I guess you can but then

 

Change the locks? Change the locks!



Also, today's been a pretty damn good day for me, mental health wise. Good work meeting, good therapy session. Terrible debate forthcoming but I'm just going to pretend it's a very special episode of my favorite sitcom or something.

 

Didn't you say your next door neighbor has guard dogs? I'd ask to borrow them. @Kiana

 

Lol apparently they're taking a trip and I strongly
considered doing it while they're gone. I can't deal! Today work was so hard I nearly cried and when I cry I get a headache and when I pulled up and saw the rando was home I almost just turned back around I was so aggravated.

Glad you had a good day! Don't let the debates ruin it!

Not to my knowledge! My rm has dogs but they're at her boyfriends. I was hoping I'd creep her out with all my halloween decorations but she remains unphased!

 

Whatever you have to do to keep the rando from bringing in a bed. *internet hug*

 

Thanks bb! I just text my rm and asked for a concrete move out date for them and she's texting her now so fingers crossed lol

 

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Today was one of those days where I just wasn't in the mood for human interaction, so of course I ended up being observed/audited at work lol. I whine a lot. I'm a big complainer and I know it, but I rarely actually feel cranky. I think I just like to hear myself whine ha. But today I felt so out of sorts. But I feel like I'm constantly making posts like "I don't usually feel angry/annoyed/cranky, but..." so clearly it's becoming a trend lol. I think I'm normally very in control of my emotions outside of anxiety issues. I usually compartmentalize and analyze to death when I'm ready and then go off that. I'm not used to feeling things and not being able to shove it back somewhere.

 

My dad told me that it looks like I've put on weight and need to eat less. I'm all for honesty, really, but these comments hurt. And I've been hearing them since I was 12 years old. I still have so many self esteem issues, my body being one of the issues, I just wish I could love myself properly. I'm not perfect and I'm never going to be but I don't know if I can accept that

 

I just came across this on tumblr and thought I'd share:

 

I'm very similar - I got into trouble for being negative in team calls and people stopped talking to me for several months. Turns out, it was a manifestation of my depression and is getting better with meds, but still. I have to be very conscious of filtering what I want to say if I'm talking to people I work with anymore. :(

 

Feeling like no matter what I do, nothing in my life will ever change and I will be stuck right where I am forever and that is the scariest fucking thing ever since I'm not happy with where I am at all.

 

Fuck, I feel this so much.

 

It is such a shitty way to feel and I'm sorry you're feeling it, too *hugs*

 

I feel you, it's multipart for me , I don't really have set goals or plans, career wise relationship wise I'm not sure what I want to do so it's hard to be motivated, and then making any choice is scary and has consequences

 

Ugh yes I feel you!! My only goal I really have is to be happy and I don't even know what that looks like for me. I know I need a new career since mine is a dead-end job but no idea what I want to do. And I know if I stay where I'm at I need to get my license but that horrifies me so I'm like okay I need to move. But I can't afford it and I'm scared of moving to a new place by myself so here I stay in the same spot I've been for years. Life is hard lol

 

I started to write a post but it was a little alarming even for me honestly...

Just having another rough week with everything. I need some space and some time to breathe.