I am wildly, incredibly fortunate for that, yeah. It's a benefit at my work if you stay there for 6+ years which they will probably get rid of at some point lol. Thanks!
I'm in one of those spirals where nothing makes me happy, and everything I normally do for leisure just kinda bores me. I'd normally try to exercise and ride the dopamine rush, but I've got either really bad allergies or a cold and my body just feels completely drained.
Does anyone else struggle with disorganized attachment? I had something happen to me earlier this week and I’m incredibly distraught. Can’t eat or sleep, barely getting through work. My whole body feels tingly and dissociated.
I'll give a final update. Surgery has pretty much healed, and I was cleared to go back to work this coming Monday. Having the time off has been nice, but I miss the kids at work and I'm really looking forward to seeing them again
Always struggle to admit to how easily I spiral with anxiety to my doctor but did today during our monthly follow up. Gonna give lorazepam a try for as-needed situations. never tried it and don’t want to mess with my mirtazapine dose which helps me sleep. Other meds stay the same for now.
I keep doing things that push me out of my comfort zone which is basically doing a bunch of stuff alone. I went to a restaurant alone today and it was fine and I didn’t feel too anxious. And I’m glad I’m doing stuff like that but I just came home and cried bc I’m tired. I’m tired of having to keep pushing myself and I’m tired of doing things alone. It’s one thing if you’re just trying to better yourself and feel more comfortable on your own. But I have no other option. It’s do it alone or don’t do it at all bc I have no one. I’ve always had no one and I’m just tired of it. I’m tired of everyone’s advice bc it just makes me feel like a failure. Everything that “worked for them” hasn’t worked for me. And I know people mean well but when they say shit like “oh I was single for a long time so I get it!!” No actually, you don’t! Yes I’m sure those 5 years felt like a long time but when you’ve been alone literally your entire life, it’s a whole different level. And I don’t want to dismiss others but sometimes I just want to scream. I have never felt wanted. No one has ever loved me in a romantic way. Seeing everyone you know get chosen while you always get ignored is absolutely soul crushing. And I’m trying to grapple with the fact that this might just be my life forever. I might try and try and still never find anyone and it’s just really hard. Especially bc I’m just a mushy romantic at heart lol Also know a lot is bc of my PMDD and I’ll feel better next week lol but I’m gonna just be whiny today anyway!!
The job market is a fucking disaster. Why are any of us even working at this point? How are people working?Because so many jobs are just scams or wildly underpaying with extreme work loads. I've been searching for a while but at what point do I just give up and realize I'll always be poor?
Feeling this so hard. A few days ago I googled ways to make cash super fast and found the "Free Cash" app that basically has you play games endlessly to try and earn some extra money. Couple days ago I played Disney Solitaire for hours in my free time and made about 50 dollars. Looked at the clock to see how much time I'd wasted and hung my head and had a little cry. Cool country we live in.
the economy will eventually rebound to a better place temporarily before it crashes again. our lives won't get better until the capitalist system is dismantled.
Genuine think we're all going to get crushed. I don't even remotely think I'll live through this era.
Depression is the worst it's been in a while and no direct cause. Glad for a long weekend. team even gets an extra day on top of the holiday due to pulling off a product launch in a short turnaround. Anxiety isn't great either. Haven't tried the lorazepam yet, just kind of anxious about taking anything considered addicting.
As much as my last relationship destroyed something in me, I don’t think I’d be out here trying to live my best life. One of the views this weekend
If anyone needs to vent about what they have going on, I’m down for a zoom call. I’ve been struggling to process some recent stuff and it’d be nice to get some mutual support.
Anybody here have experience with Therapy in a Nutshell? I'm starting to feel like seeing therapists doesn't work for me, and I want to try alternative methods.
Well, I'm now in a pickle. Got laid off today. Company doing well, but guess they wanted to be lighter on payroll, so fuck me, right? It took so long to land this current gig and I only lasted 8 months. I am terrified of how long it may take to find my next job, especially as everyone is doing a header into the pool of AI, which fucks me especially over. Maybe I can walk into the sea lol
Ah man. I was very excited for you to have found that job too, I know the search was rough. Did they at least hook you up with a severance?