Hey - this really, really means a lot. I appreciate you and your kind words, sincerely. I hope things continue to improve over time for both of us. You sound like you're doing the best you can for your family, and that deserves to be lauded.
Feeling very worn out. my anxiety and stress manifests in different ways and since the broken tooth, it's been an increase in my TMJ issues. it's hard to tell if the new overlay needs another bite adjustment (yes i believe it's nearly good there) and what is causing my gums around that tooth to be sensitive (thankfully mostly only noticeable when flossing or poking it). but my tmj is bad rn. the right side of my jaw aches and at the end of the day the muscles and nerves are bothered. have an appointment next week to get my teeth scanned for a custom night guard and hope to get a bite adjustment done and have them do a look at my gums. That'll help reduce pressure on teeth at night even if sleeping with a nigh guard blows. tonight the pain is radiating up and down my shoulder and back into my jaw. it's not like super painful but it's just not fun by the end of the day. haven't really been taking ibuprofen or anything to alleviate it, but tonight i am. waiting for it to kick in. it's not been like this in over a decade so i'm not happy it's back. the plus side of things is i've lost over 30lbs since sort of letting bad habits resurface over the last year and a half. started being serious about it toward end of summer. hope to continue to drop more, need to for my health anyway.
doing really well in almost all aspects of my life so of course my anxiety is like “when is it all going to come crumbling down”
Today is my dad's birthday. I've been having a rough time this year due to some prescription changes with my insurance. Just having a bit of a rough time but I've been trying my best to communicate my feelings instead of stuffing them down. I've also taken a couple of mental health days from work. It's just a lot to deal with and while I'm doing my best I'm just worried it's not enough.
very cool. my insurance no longer covers 'chemical dependency' visits for therapy and they tripled in price. Wonder if I can change those visits to something other than that with my therapist
navigating the American healthcare system is, in and of itself, enough to give anyone a mental condition
Doubled my effexor dose. Really need to get my blood pressure down. Combination of genetics, high stress at work and home, and poor eating as of late. Just not doing so hot all-around.
I'm feeling so trapped. Our own government is kettling us and there's ICE in my community now everywhere. I just can't think of a way I'm not going to end up dead or imprisoned. What the fuck is going on? How are people so cruel? I can't start spiraling.
Sick as fuck, the most depressed I’ve been in awhile (which is saying something), and trapped snowed in … awesome combination, do not recommend.
It's weird to think about how all the adults in my formative youth kinda fucked up my views on adult relationships. I'm always surprised when people over 30 are still in love. My mom and dad never loved each other and forced themselves to stay together till we were adults so we could have a "normal" childhood (my dad spent years sleeping on the couch). My dad's father was a jerk and never showed love to my grandmother, but he did love his kids and grandkids. My mom's father was a terrible person for criminal reasons I won't get into. My mom has 6 siblings and they all took turns living at my grandma's due to falling outs with their significant others. My uncle on my dad's side is the only one who has been married forever but we were never super close beyond getting together on holidays, but they're very good people who I do care about. His sister has been married 3 times. I just feel like I always assumed that nobody stays in love and just forces themselves to stay together due to societal norms and pressures. And the same thing happened to me for 10 wasted years where I tried to force it to work, and now I'm alone. Idk.
I guess what made me think of all that is my ex's mom is dying of cancer. She, her mom, and her dad are a wreck. Her parents are super MAGA so I couldn't stand them, but I always admired and was shocked how much they love each other even in their 60s. I guess her dad has been crying a lot and been lashing out at my ex - yelling at her more than he ever has and she loves her dad. I'm still close friends with her and I feel bad for them. We are all human, regardless of how deeply flawed we can be. They're all going through a far worse time than me, but I feel sorry for them, and I can't help but reflect on myself as well I guess, which is maybe selfish in its own way
I guess... I'm just feeling sad and broken these days and I don't know how to crawl out of it. The only thing I have going well for me is my career, which I don't even feel fulfilled by, but I'm at least in a senior position and have been there for a decade now which is lucky since I feel like a fraud every day.
I'm sorry for the huge dump and venting, y'all. I am overdue for finding a therapist. I guess it all boiled over just now.
Therapy has been helpful for me, if you're able to find something in network and all of that dumb stuff. It's hard taking that step, and I've tried several times over the last decade (with too much time in between) when I had bad experiences with it. It might take a bit to find a good fit. For a long time I think I had the mentality of 'I know what's wrong with me I just need to fix it on my own' but I've clearly not been able to lol. Sorry you're going through that man and hope it gets better.
Thanks a lot. I think I'm in that boat lol just like "I know what's wrong with me, I just need to stop procrastinating and fix it" but I've gone 33 years with that mindset and I'm clearly not doing it
I need to start therapy again too but honestly I’m impressed with how well I’m holding up given everything that’s going on. I just hope it lasts.