Mental Health Thread • Page 503

I feel guilty for saying this, but more than ever, I feel like something is missing from my life. It's not that my family doesn't give me purpose because they do, but where I used to be content sitting around and watching movies, I now have this huge itch to constantly be involved in a project of some type, and now that the horror fest is over for the year, I'm just constantly looking for things to do that I probably don't even have the bandwidth for. It's weird.

 

I can relate I’ve felt like there’s a huge emptiness inside of me for my entire life and anytime I found something I thought filled it (music, relationships, substances) it always turned out to be a temporary fix. On paper I have a very fulfilling life. I do not feel fulfilled

 

I’m not sure it fits here, but it’s definitely not good for my mental health issues (recently diagnosed with anxiety, looking into more) and I need to vent.. One of my oldest friends has been ghosting me since last year. It had become pretty casual in the years before (life gets in the way and we live very far apart), but that’s still a big leap to me. The weird thing is, a few months after it started she still responded to my IG story about my wedding with “congratulations” (and I know she still sees my stuff sometimes). Hasn’t answered any message in the months before that and in the 14 months since. I have gotten used to the thought by now mostly, but every know and then it enters my mind and I feel really hurt and down for a day or so. We meant so much to each other during such a crucial time you know. I figured that would count for something forever. I just feel like I have no real friends anymore. All the my “friends from adulthood” that my wife and I hangout with feel so different.

EDIT: I have given up messaging her and never confronted her. Maybe it’s not on purpose ghosting, but after such a long time I feel like it doesn’t matter either way.

 

I legitimately have this almost exact situation going on and I've had it two other times before. It hurts a lot but eventually you will be okay. I'd much rather spend time with people who actually want me in their lives. I will not chase friendship.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, it can be just as bad if not worse than a breakup sometimes.

 

Thanks man. It’s just really cruel I feel like.

 

We never really know what's going on in someone else's life and we never truly know how close we are to someone. A friend of mine who I went through thick and thin with for over a decade just randomly vanished on me once they got married. It really hurts and unfortunate but they chose it, not me. Same goes for you. You reached out and if they wanted to have a dialogue, even if there's the off chance that you did something that offended them, they could have been mature enough to do so. There's so many different possibilities and speculation can only get us so far. I hope you are able to find the friends you deserve and that you understand you are valued to others even if this one person may not.

 

I feel like, unfortunate as it is, peoples' lives take over as they grow apart, and sometimes that comes with changes in relationship/dynamic. It's a tough thing to tangibly explain, but we've all been through it in one way or another. I think a lot of folks have the very human instinct to avoid that conversation because of how uncomfortable it is than to put it out in the open, for better or for worse.

I'm sorry you're going through that. I've been there, and I know you'll find other people you vibe with long-term in the future.

 

Checking myself into inpatient this weekend :/ but also :)

 

I have to give up on the Politics thread for a while. I can't avoid it all but I can't do anything about whatever the fuck is happening in this country. That thread cannot be healthy for any of us.

Nothing happened in particular. I was just away on business for a few days and it was nice being too busy to look at it.

 

Honestly the most solid friendships I have are people who've helped me move. That's my new friendship indicator. Moving sucks. Anyone who helps you move is a loyal lifer.

 

Just feeling anxious and uneasy about everything rn, both personal and the greater world at large

 

Sorry homie. I'm with you. Reach out if you want to vent or anything

 

I have been an asshole lately and I gotta figure out what's going on with me and how to rein it in. I feel like someone flipped a switch on my back this year and suddenly, my stress and frustration and general emotions are just always at a 10. It's like being a teenager again, and the worst part is, I don't realize how I'm being until after the fact. It takes so little to set me off, And I don't get angry in any kind of traditional sense, but I detach from my wife very easily. My family has been very patient, but they deserve better, and I want to do whatever I have to to make myself easier to be around. I hate the idea of causing more stress to them as opposed to helping.

 

I know you had a massive life change with a child (congrats if I never said that anywhere) so I'm sure your situation is more 'caused' by major life changes, but I feel this. I have my own stressors going on related to some life changes both happening and planned, and it really took a conscious effort to try to ignore, and push aside reactions, and just act 'kinder' to those around me that weren't the cause of my issues. I'm often quieter, but been told that I'm being 'quiet and am I annoyed?' and I just had to explain that I was taking a moment to compartmentalize what's really making me upset / angry / emotional and not redirect those feelings at the wrong person. It seemed to help when I just explained it that way. Over the course of time, I'm getting better at then coming back into the moment with the thoughts left to the side for another time.

I don't know, a bit of a ramble but I get what you're saying for sure.

 

This is actually very helpful and I appreciate the response!

 

I fucking feel this. Learning that I’m (self diagnosed) autistic in the back end of my 30s has been a struggle. I’m dealing with a lot of skill regression and I’m in the highest-demand job I’ve ever had and I feel like a skeleton when I get home. I have an urge to ask my wife why she’s with me when I feel so un-fun, humorless, stressed and not able to be present for her at all anymore - which sucks, she’s my best friend! I know she understands and gets it but I feel so guilty not being present for the most important person in my life. It makes me feel like I’m a broken in various ways. Anyways, a ramble with no advice but some commiserating. Sorry to make it about me, was just trying to relate to what you’re going through.

 

No worries, I am literally right there with you brother. I was diagnosed by a therapist earlier this year who then promptly did a evangelical pivot and I had to abandon ship suddenly after 5 years, so now I don't know whether to trust anything she said (that I'm on the spectrum, have ADHD, etc.)

 

Fuck that is brutal. Sorry to hear that. That sort of shit makes me so hesitant to start the search for a therapist so I just languish using up my PTO/Sick time for breaks from work.

 

Feeling overwhelming lonely once again. I was on the phone with my mom and she’s the only family I have with good political views usually. She knows exactly where I stand politically but she thought it was be a good idea to tell me she voted for a republican candidate. Then she got absolutely pissed at me when I got upset about it and she said I always just want to argue and she’s entitled to her own opinions. I said I’m entitled to my own opinions too and it’s my opinion that voting for a man who tried to ban abortion and hates queer people when you have a queer daughter is fucked up!!! Then she hung up on me lol And I get to spend the night at my family Halloween party with her and all my right wing family members tonight. And if they talk politics and I state my view they all gang up on me and scream at me so I usually just sit there and say nothing instead bc I’m just tired of it! And it’s just so lonely bc these are literally the only people I have in my life. Being surrounded by people who actively vote for people who think you should not have rights or basically just deserve to die is awful. I would do absolutely anything to have an actual support system for once in my life!

 

Completely understand where you're coming from. My mom and I have been best friends for my whole life, and she is a wonderful person. But she voted for Trump a third time, and I just can't get past it anymore. I have stopped speaking with her the last few months, and as much as I hate it, I know that the relationship we would have going forward can't be the same as it has been for the last 20 years or so. I could get over that vote in 2016, and even 2020, but that vote in 2024 makes it undeniable that she cannot connect her personal morals, values, and beliefs to actual political positions and policies. She's operating on autopilot and gets very defensive, which makes it impossible to have a real conversation. I don't need that sort of feeling of futility in my life, and it's better that we just don't even try to force a relationship anymore, in my opinion.

I know internet friends aren't the same as a familial support system, but know that you aren't alone in any of this.

 

Give yourself some grace friend. Take it from someone who has been there.

 

The holidays are coming up and it’s gotten me depressed. I’m alone once again.

 

Hate how easily I spiral after anything potentially negative at work. Sigh.

 

I feel this. Go easy on yourself!