Mental Health Thread • Page 499

Thank you! It comes in waves and usually gets worse when I’m just sitting idle/scrolling. It doesn’t help that I’ve been having a lot of dreams about her recently. Made an effort to get out of the house the last two days and it’s done wonders.

 

I want to be able to connect with people IRL without alcohol. I'm now 8 years removed from my college days when I'd use it to cope, to the point it'd made me believe I was only friendly and worthy of anyone's attention and affection after a drink or two. Even though my life is now very different in a positive way and alcohol is barely a part of it, it hurts to admit that I still get those cravings anytime my social anxiety gets off the rails (aka too often). Feels like it's my mind lying to me.

 

Maybe better suited for the random thoughts thread but I’ve always had a hard time grasping the concept of time. My mom recently had eye surgery and my stepdad needs to get knee replacement soon and my first thoughts were, “why do you need to do all that, you’re not THAT old” and then realized/remembered that I’m almost 40 which means they’re in their mid-late 60’s and my brain just does not compute that. Brain barely even registers my own age most of the time let alone other people lol

 

I’m a 32 year old child

 

You and me both

 

It's been a tough 18 hours. I got a call at work yesterday from my dad saying that my mom fell while watching the baby and that he needed to take her to the ER. They're not great about communicating the severity of a situation over the phone, and the last time I got calls like this was when they were both mauled by the neighbor's dog last summer, so of course my anxiety is jacked. I got home and she seemed okay, wasn't howling or pain or anything, but they got an X-ray and it looks like her upper arm is fractured in addition to needing surgery. My wife and I just feel horrible about it, and on top of it all, I guess my brother said some reactive shit about how we shouldn't have left the car seat where it was for my mom to trip over, which absolutely validated my wife's OCD telling her it's 100% our fault that my mom broke her arm. Now I need to worry about her, take care of the baby when I'm home, and navigate daycare options with work as my parents were watching the baby M/W/F. I think my brother is going to call tonight to apologize to my wife, and work seems open to a flexible work arrangement where I try to watch the baby while working from home (which I anticipate being very difficult), but I still just feel horrible that my parents can't go a year into their retirement without some sort of physical issue keeping them from truly enjoying it. Just a reminder that they are getting older.

 

I definitely wouldn’t feel bad about missing your ex after 4 months. It’s been 6 years since my ex broke up with me and I still think about her every day. Grief/loss is hard. I don’t know if I’m the type to ever truly get over it.

 

I’m the same way (only had two real relationships in my life) but I’m trying real hard to actually move on and not be that emotionally unavailable guy who’s hung up on his ex while actively trying to date. Problem is me and my ex are still in contact…it’s hard to completely cut off someone you have a shared history with, essentially a shared language, when you were together for almost 9 years

 

This definitely resonates with me. I’ve only had one LTR and it lasted about 7 years. Honestly thought we would go the distance but shit happens. We tried to stay in touch for a while but honestly it was just too hard (I can only speak for myself but I think she felt similarly). I’ve dated and what not since we split almost 6 years ago but nothing’s stuck. It’s hard not to start feeling pessimistic.

 

I am so anxious I’m not going to pass my drug test tomorrow that I cannot function today. Just took another CVS test and passed but I know they’re not as sensitive as the lab ones. Deep down I know I’m probably fine but it’s one of those things where my brain can’t stop thinking “well what if you’re not”. This is my only current job prospect so I have a lot riding on this.

 

I have experience with passing (and, often, failing) drug tests of various substances if you need advice or insight into your chances you can dm me if needed

 

Just messaged, thank you!

 

Eh, had a song come up on shuffle that I associate with this person and it is, unfortunately, bumming me out. Unsure if it's worth reaching out about or not. When I say we were close, I mean I went to his dad's funeral and he spoke at my wedding. But ghosting me after a major life event doesn't seem to have bothered him, so...idk.

 

The fact that I’ll only hear back about this drug test if I fail is eating me alive lol. I imagine if I don’t hear anything by the end of next week I’ll be ok but the waiting and worrying is going to be miserable.

 

Always fun to find out layoffs are likely coming my company's way if not enough people leave through some stupid voluntary sev thing. just what i want to spend my next month being anxious about. sigh.

 

you know that thing when you're an artist without a lot of organic success and you bump into someone online who embodies everything you've ever want to be as far as output and traction and they were like born in 2005 and theyre barely trying yeah I love that feeling

 

Right there with you bud

 

I feel very thankful that I haven't felt depressed in a few months now due to treatment but today suddenly I got hit by a wave of depression. I can't go backwards. I refuse. I'm so scared I'll go back to being who I was and I don't want that. I fucking hate this brain and body.

 

I hate how my brain just continues to find things to latch onto and get anxious about. Once one stressor is gone it’s like I always need to find something else to fill that void. I can never just be at peace. It’s gotten pretty debilitating the last week or so.

 

I haven’t created any music in 6 years because of this

 

struggling with some stuff but it’s like…I can’t even put my finger on what. Good things are happening. I got a big promotion, I bought myself a car, I’ve dipped my toes into the dating pool with a minimal level of success but success nonetheless. Yet I’m not satisfied. My brain still has that need for more more more that defined my addiction. I also, quite unfortunately, really miss my ex, really regret the way I carried myself between the years of 2015 and 2024, and every now and then have PTSD style flashbacks to some of the most horrific, horrendous moments of my life. I know I’m not who I was even a year ago but I still recoil at the thought I was ever that person at all. And it’s like…who am I now? What am I even doing? Does any of this make sense because I seriously can’t even really make sense of it all myself

 

man I feel this. I have an open "anxiety slot" at all times that will get filled by SOMETHING

 

Sometimes, I look at my baby and think about how pure he is right now and then think about every bad thing I've ever said or done and I've never felt so convinced of my unworthiness. Not really sure how to tackle or unpack that, but it feels similar to some of what's being described in here.

 

I was doing SO well for months. Now I'm depressed again. I'm just losing it. I want to leave.

 

I feel so directionless and just out of place in the world. Everyday just feels the same as the last, and I feel like I’m just spinning my wheels over and over. I have no idea what I’m doing and or why. It feels like I’m just existing, not living, and I’m so exhausted by it