Mental Health Thread • Page 497

I’ve now convinced myself I have congestive heart failure, good shit. I really hate my brain sometimes.

 

After talking with a friend today I think my body is just exhausted from everything the past few months. Breakup, moving home, a less than ideal living situation, job search stress, money stress, and then prolonged heightened anxiety the last few weeks with ICE and US imperialist bullshit. When he listed everything I’ve been dealing with it made sense lol. Need to be kinder to myself.

 

Starting to dread work, which is frustrating because my job isn't even that bad. Just want to stay at home with my son. I can't believe we've normalized working our lives away like this.

 

I don’t have access to prestige forum anymore but I’d like to celebrate a big win today: 500 days clean from fentanyl

 

Congrats!! That's huge

 

Awesome man

 

Gonna start this post by saying I understand how this sounds, and I'm unsure how to say it without it sounding that way, but most of the people on this site know me and my views so I'm gonna try not to worry about that part too much.

A friend of mine added me to a group chat comprised completely of queer women and then her husband and myself as they tend to watch horror movies together virtually and she invited me to join. Really cool that they feel comfortable enough to allow me in that space and I definitely appreciate it. We've had a lot of fun in there.

Lately, especially as the political situation has gotten more dire, the chat has slowly turned into a "men are vile," "men continue to be the worst," etc. thing, which I totally get. And I know it's not in reference to me. I do think on some level, seeing that messaging every day is starting to affect me mentally? No matter how much I recognize that those things are not in reference to me and I usually agree with them considering the context being presented, it does not change the fact that I do not like myself often as it is and the messaging is starting to worm its way into my brain as another thing to feel guilt or shame for that I don't have control over. So while I understand and respect their feelings, I've had to mute that chat as I feel like it's started to impact my already over-sensitive brain (especially while raising a young boy).

I hope this post doesn't come off as a #notallmen thing because it's really not supposed to be. Sometimes I just have to remove myself from negative situations if they start to impact my mental too much. But for whatever reason, I feel dumb/guilty/weird about doing it and just needed to vent somewhere.

 

I think seeing repeatedly negative messaging about any topic, no matter how righteous and “correct” that negativity may be, takes a mental toll. Has happened to me on more than one occasion

 

I need a vacation fuck

 

Is it something someone sent her? Those will show up in iPhone camera rolls

 

Honestly not sure. Kid was scrolling on her phone and I saw it.

 

Feeling all sorts of ways right now. This will probably be a jumbled mess, but just getting it out will help.

Had my bachelor party over the weekend. It was a great, chill time, everyone seemed to have fun.

Someone that wasn't invited found out and messaged me essentially saying "fuck you, fuck everyone involved". This person has a lot of issues and has alienated most everyone in the group that was invited. I am pretty much the only one that still talks to them and invites them to things, but I have my boundaries. If it involves money, time, transportation, and having to rely on them to be somewhere at a certain I don't invite them. A big reason why I still talk to them is basically they've told me that I am a big part of their life and I am honestly afraid of them hurting themselves if I told them we could no longer be friends, additionally they are one of the few people that share similar interests and I get a lot out of discussing those things with them. Needless to say it really bummed me out getting that message, but I tried to not let it ruin my time. This person only messages me on Instagram to communicate, I think they don't have cell service and just use wifi, so I just delete IG on my phone to not be tempted to get into it on my trip. I know they're an asshole for making this about them during a time that is supposed to be special for me, I know they have major issues (not going to play armchair psychologist, but similar issues where they tell me to fuck off happen once a year or so, and friends on the trip say he does it to them as well), but it's still hurtful. Mostly this is just something I do not have the time or energy to deal with right now. I've known this person since kindergarten, they were among the people I lived with when I first left home, so I feel some obligation to at least have a conversation with them explaining my side and why boundaries are necessary, but I also don't feel like they are emotionally mature enough to have this conversation, and the conflict plays a number on my anxiety. This also plays into the fact the I have been wanting to get off instagram because of everything going on in the world, it hasn't been a net negative on my mental health recently.

I don't know how to explain this part other than my anxiety is having trouble with the change of routine not having instagram on my phone. I love exchanging dumb shit with my friends and fiance on there, I use it as a creative outlet for things that others seem to really enjoy, basically I am feeling a hole from the actual "social" aspects of it, even though that became fewer and farther between the doomscrolling or looking at mindless shit on there. I am also at a point where I hate that this negative interaction took away something that I sometimes enjoy, even if I was contemplating doing that myself. Getting back on would mean having to deal with him, leaving completely takes away something that I sometimes get a lot out of with my other friends, and also leaves this situation with that person up in the air and unresolved which also is hard for me to deal with.

Sorry for the major rambling. Just needed to throw all this shit against the wall, even if none of it sticks.

 

Probably best to just be honest and ask directly. Perfectly reasonable to see it as your kid is scrolling and it does raise reasonable questions even though it may also be nothing and something that was sent to her

 

I have been through a very, VERY similar situation with a friend who was clearly at a different stage in their life, and all I can tell you is what worked for me. This person got "mad" at me for announcing my wife's pregnancy on Facebook because we didn't have the chance to talk about how it might impact our creative endeavors together. The thing was, this person was clearly projecting more of themselves onto the friendship that I was. I think that tends to happen when people are at different stages - you get someone who is single, maybe unemployed, maybe lives with a parent and regularly alienates people, of course their bandwidth is going to be different from someone who might be married, has a house/housework, a job, whatever. He would regularly get annoyed with me for having to work around that stuff. Getting up in arms about a hugely positive life change for me was kind of the last straw; I know his mental illness and attachment issues aren't necessarily his fault, but it's also not my responsibility to be his keeper or punching bag. So I took the kid gloves off and let him know that his reaction told me all I needed to know about our friendship. I told him exactly why we wouldn't be able to work together in the future and wished him the best of luck. Then I blocked him. And it was a huge relief. A few weeks later, he sent me a Facebook message apologizing, but I don't really use Facebook anymore, so I chose to leave it at that.

I can't tell you what to do re: Instagram, but I wouldn't let a sour relationship like the is ruin something you enjoy. If I were you, I would do my best to explain your issues/discomfort with the person (even if not in person) before letting them know that this kind of relationship simply isn't going to work for you anymore. Block him and get back to enjoying the app. You can always delete it in the future on your own terms if you wish. Just my two cents.

Congrats on your engagement, btw :)

 

Thanks, Aaron. I appreciate it.

 

Of course. Wishing you luck. You're not the bad guy here. People outgrow each other sometimes; it's an unfortunate fact of life. Take care of yourself.

 

Semi-related, I had one very close friend that straight-up just never reached out again after I told him my wife was pregnant. You'd think I'd be more upset about it, and sometimes, it gets to me, but overall, we've had so many friends that have been excited for/supportive of us and been okay with movie nights at our house or letting us bring the baby to functions that it doesn't really phase me anymore. Real ones have a habit of sticking around through the good and the bad. It really is simple as a lot of the time.

 

Hey, trigger warning


Me literally begging friends from other countries to pay attention to what’s happening because I might need their help: hey, umm, they’re possibly passing a bill for building what are essentially concentration camps, so umm, I don’t want to be tortured and or die, could you maybe let me sleep on your couch or your basement for a bit?


Them: I’m so sad my ex still won’t talk to me after they cheated on me, I can’t ever get over them. This is the worst thing ever :’(

This is just an example but it’s not far from our conversations and how it feels. It goes one ear and out there other, they act like they don’t give a shit. Maybe it’s just because they’re fake friends or maybe they really think all the fascism is somehow exaggerated, idk.

I shouldn’t have listened to & watched movies about all those stories about people being saved during genocidal events in history, through liberation, secret passageways etc. Most people these days are too busy doomscrolling on their phones & worried about their own shit to have the time to save anyone or help stop fascism. Shit is so fucking dark right now. The worst shit gets, the more I can’t sleep, there’s only so much anxiety a human can overcome.

I guess becoming energy and going back into the universe isn’t the worst thing ever. It’s more about the pain and humiliation that will have to be endured before that, that will be horrific.

 

I'm literally so fucking drained from having to deal with my drug addict sister ruining my life and my mom's life. And it's like, I try my absolute hardest to be sympathetic and patient when it comes to her issues but when she's stealing my mom's car and letting random people drive it and stealing money from us constantly, it becomes a little difficult to stay that way. She has run up hundreds in parking tickets and various other tickets to the point where they're probably going to suspend my mom's license since the car is in her name. It's so fucking unfair. And unfortunately we can't legally force her to go to rehab since she is an adult. I'm genuinely getting close to my breaking point and I also worry that all of the stress from this is going to give my mom a stroke

 

I'm not sleeping much lately and I truly feel hopeless

some of his supporters are starting to wake up and realize this was never what they signed up for, but it's exactly what they signed up for. and I take no pleasure in saying "I told ya so'" but the worst part is it's only emboldening the worst of them. fuck these are grim times

 

Everyone in my immediate family (mom, dad, brother) struggles with addiction and while they’ve had different experiences with sobriety I would say that through most of my adult life, one of them has usually been going through it. It fucking sucks.

 

I thankfully haven't had to be in here in a while because I've been trying to do a lot of work on myself. I've gone through different types of therapies and they've been working and I feel pretty good overall, but today was just a bummer because of work stuff. It left me feeling hopeless and thinking about how this country is collapsing and people actively get excited at the idea of taking away people's benefits and rights to live. I'm so sick of it. Working 6 days a week while your boss's boss's boss makes millions and you still can't afford and apartment really pisses me off.

I just don't know what to do because how do fight a completely immoral and unempathetic government and followers? I just want to be able to live and pet my cats and just contribute to my little life and neighbors and friends. Why is that so fucking hard?