Mental Health Thread • Page 493

I’ve learned the hard way in recent memory but you are ultimately the reason you are alone. If you people treat you like a burden, then they’ve always viewed you that way and nothing will change that. Surround yourself with people who love and care about you, family doesn’t have to be blood.

 

I really need to get my shit together

 

Me too

 

Exhausted from feeling guilty over having virtually no ambition. I can’t live peacefully with myself while not pursuing some misplaced idea of what greatness is, and can’t let myself relax living a simple life. I have a decent job, amazing partner, still feel that emptiness. The world and capitalism has its fangs in my psyche and it’s a fucking illness.

 

Feel that heavily, friend.

 

This is a factor in why my relationship ended and it’s eating me alive. I have never had this career drive/ambition and I really wish I could just turn it on.

 

I feel like I oscillate wildly between those two modes. Partially an ADD thing, partially that I could settle and be completely satisfied as a non-ambitious type (at least when it comes to work) if it was just me, but as a married person and dad, I now feel an obligation to try and succeed more or bring in more money even if it invites more stress into my life. It sucks!

 

Lately wrestling with the realization that I will likely never take the chance to pursue what I'm actually interested in doing, because doing so would entail me quitting my job to complete an internship without further work guaranteed at the end of it, and everything I seem to find online warns against pursuing a degree in counseling online. It's honestly gut-wrenching. I'll do whatever I have to for my family, but I wish I had another shot at happiness when it came to my career.

 

My wife is beyond tired of my MH and my lack of effort to change. Every time I feel like I'm getting better, I'm reminded that I'm not. Small things that have been issues keep happening and I don't stop the cycle. There are things that are out of my control, but her complaints are valid.

I broke down and scheduled an initial therapy appointment yesterday, but sucks it's two weeks out. I have friends, but shared friends and everything always gets back to my wife. So I just feel alone.

 

I'm sorry homie. I'm glad you took the first step. My inbox is always open!

 

woke up sad. shitty dreams

I could really use a win. it's been a while

 

We have two cats, siblings, have had them for six years, and they've always tussled a little bit but generally tolerated each other. Lately, the female has been guarding the litterbox and attacking the male sibling any time he tries to use it. It's gotten to the point that he hides from her and will only go to the bathroom (nervously) if one of us takes him down and she is in another room. Everything we've read online and heard from our vet essentially says that you can't force two cats to like each other, and that the best option may be rehoming her.

I am absolutely heartbroken. She is completely and totally in love with us, lays with us, rubs on us all the time. I could never imagine doing this to one of my animals (let alone one so affectionate), but it's clear our male cat isn't exactly happy in this environment anymore (who would be?). You always wish you could just explain things to your animals and just have them understand, but...here we are. My wife is so incredibly stressed about the situation and I've been in denial for a long time. I saw some of the behavior first-hand last night, realized the extent of it, and I'm just beside myself. I care about my pets more than (almost) anything else in my life. They're an extension of my family.

 

I know this is often a vent thread vs advice thread, and I hope I'm not giving you info you already know, but perhaps try Feliway? They have plug ins (like glade plugins) and they are meant to release pheromones' to create a more calming environment.

 

I believe we tried these when the problem initially started -- we've also had them on small doses of prozac -- but I don't think either fixed enough to justify ignoring it, unfortunately. I really appreciate the recommendation, though.

 

Somewhat related to mental heath… I had my routine visit with my lady doctor. Like pcp appts they make you fill out those “depression questionnaires”. Even though I’d say it’s been mild and my scores were high, she still asked me about it and if I think I need a dosage increase. She messaged my pcp. (I had asked if that’s something she can do or if it’s better to be managed by my pcp since they originally prescribed it). Like this was the first time I felt seen. For YEARS on pcp check up ive never been asked about those questionnaires. I forgot to ask her about my fatigue that’s an ongoing thing for years and years as well and maybe hope she can rx something. I’m seeing her again next month for a small procedure I should have done last visit 3 years ago, so hopefully I don’t forget to ask then

 

Did the vet eval the female cat? Do labs? Maybe she’s in pain or something and she’s acting out as a result to it. I don’t think behavior changes like that are out of nowhere and has a cause

 

Dreamt of my ex last night and it’s thrown me off all day so far. I also really need to cut down on the edibles, they’re great for distracting myself in the evening but I need to find healthier coping mechanisms.

 

I have a few friends who I enjoy and appreciate but I don't know how to set a boundary that I may not always be down to hang. Especially if they're with their kids. I love kids. I work with kids for a living. I'm always down to be around kids. And for what it's worth this does NOT apply to all my friends who are parents. But I have a few friends who already had a chaotic energy and vibe before they had kids and then their kids just enhance it even more. I get overstimulated and stressed out. It's "they are late and then show up at the restaurant and can't find their wallet as their kids are throwing food on the restaurant floor and being loud and antsy to go and then they realize they locked their keys in their car" kinda energy. this is just a hypothetical example but I'm sure it's happened.

I feel bad but I have a few folks I sorta want to move from regular hangs to 1-3x a year because it's just too stressful.

 

I really want to try therapy again but my last therapist abandoned me, and even finding them felt so hard. I just don’t even know what to do anymore. I feel so stuck and alone and helpless.

 

I'm so tired. Having a newborn is tough. Trying to balance getting sleep with getting things done around the house is tough, especially when the pets are having issues. My wife is overwhelmed and I don't really know how else to help because I'm pretty much at capacity as well. I know others work way more/harder, but having to work 40 hours across 5 days a week is just such a slap in the face when it comes to trying to be happy and living an enjoyable life.

It doesn't help that I don't think I'm built for this job and am constantly getting scares that I'm going to lose my job or get fired for not being focused enough or retaining information correctly. I really need to get re-tested for ADD, but even that becomes one more thing on my plate that includes getting to and from the appointment during the work day. Why is everything made to be so difficult?

 

Thanks Ferdi

 

I think i'm currently feeling overwhelmed by just... everything. I have tried to be better about doom-scrolling but you can only be ignorant to the reality of how bleak everything is for so long. Obviously i'm worried about the future but i'll try and focus on what I can control, but even that feels like too much at times.

 

So the therapist I was put in touch with never got back to me, idk what I’m surprised at this point. And then to cap off my terrible week I walk home for lunch to find someone spray painted a giant ass purple “k” on my kitchen window. I want this nightmare to be over

 

And I also don’t know why I always forget it’s a bad idea to call my mom when I’m upset. 9/10 times she just makes it worse and says the dumbest boomeriest things. When I told her that she just froze until I hung up.

 

Trying to not drink right now because I notice that when I do (even one beer or cocktail), my mental takes a nose dive. Today is a week and I’ve not been an excessive drinker, but for some reason it’s super hard today