Mental Health Thread • Page 492

I agreed to cosign for my sister's car lease and I'm now dying inside and have buyers remorse on something that's not even mine! But my credit score was better so I'm listed as the main buyer and my credit score I'm guessing shows that it's all my debt.

But like she wasn't going to have a vehicle any other way and my nephews dad literally just died and I did not want him to experience the stress of watching his mom try to navigate their life without a car because they live in a rural area where public transport just isn't really a thing.

But like omg

 

yeah for all intents and purposes that’s your loan - i get why you did it but yeah you should be diligent about making sure it gets paid every month no matter how much you trust/love them

 

I have no other debt at the moment so hopefully no big financial strains happen in the next few years she's paying it off, tho with this administration you literally never know. The only thing I kinda was like ugggh about regarding my own debt is that I've been toying with the idea of going back for my masters on which case I'll need to take out a loan of my own, but we'll see. I've been saying I'll get my masters for like the last 5 years and haven't loool

 

does anyone have like a really bad day like right after therapy like same day and you have to wait another week before you can address it because what else are you supposed to do

 

I still have no idea what I'm doing in my new role and even though it's only been like three-four months I feel like I'm too stupid to ever get the hang of it. Feeling incredibly overwhelmed.

 

Likewise man. Started my promotion in Feb. There are a lot of good days but overall I’m p overwhelmed. Unless you mean your new role as a parent. That’s totally normal

 

Nah, I'm talking about work too. Dad life is honestly really solid aside from the stress dreams about him getting hurt, which are most nights.

 

I wish my brain would be quiet

 

my cat died in my arms this morning

I am not ok

 

Ah man. Sorry to hear about your little buddy Trav. She was lucky to have a human that loved her so much and stuck by her until the end

 

I am so sorry to hear this, I echo Trevor, she was lucky to have you and I hope you were able to cherish your last days with her. Will give my cat an extra hug for you today.

 

god, this sounds so fucking stupid and frivolous considering everything going on in the world (and this thread) and I'm almost embarrassed to post about it

...but has anyone ever been going through a really tough mental health patch, impulsively gotten a drastic change haircut thinking it would help your mental health/self-image, but ended up hating it and regretting it to the point of being depressed over it?

I went from past-shoulder length to just above the ears and I barely even recognize myself in the mirror and think I look infinitely worse even tho my hair has been this short before.

Like I said, it sounds so dumb and inconsequential in the grand scheme of things but as someone who already struggles with things like self image, regret, and impulsiveness this is kind of a perfect storm of shittiness for me =/

Sorry I guess I just needed to get this out somewhere, partly because the fact that I feel like this over something so largely inconsequential makes me feel guilty to boot.

 

that sucks to take a big swing and have it not pan out. totally get you there. I struggle with anxiety over my image and a lot of it is tied to my hair. it's right about shoulder length right now and been really curly and wavy more than normal which i like (I think taking biotin started having an effect on it or something). but I kind of feel like I want a fresh start soon too but I'm a little nervous about getting back to like a default guy's haircut. the good news is hairstyles aren't ever set in stone. maybe try something else you haven't before!

 

We had my dad's memorial service today. He won't be cremated/placed for a few more weeks so it was just a ceremony today at the National Cemetery. He was a wartime (First Gulf War) veteran so he got an honor guard with Taps played and a Colonel who presented the flag to me. My dad was never pro-war but he took great pride in his service time as a communications specialist.

I cried a lot. I felt my feelings. His best friend spoke at the service which was nice. He and I went out to dads favorite restaurant for food and drinks after. Had some nice conversations.

I'm feeling better. Having the service in place really helped but a little touch of closure for this chapter. Next is dealing with his cremation and placement but there's no rush there.

Tomorrow I have an intake with a new therapist so that should be fun.

Idk, just ranting. Thanks for having the space to do so.

 

This all sounds healthy and valid, and I'm glad the service/after-experience was "nice" all things considered. Your dad sounds like a great guy and so does his friend. You should feel proud about letting yourself feel what you need to.

 

it takes time man. I am in my 5th year of teaching and I’m still constantly reminded that i have a lot to learn

 

Just uprooted myself and moved states. It’s a positive thing but I’m sitting here having just arrived and I’m feeling very overwhelmed and anxious.

 

V happy for you. Know you weren’t happy in Cali.

 

Yeah I was struggling. So hopefully Seattle is better. First time living in a walkable city. Excited. But just overwhelmed and exhausted feeling rn hah

 

That’s awesome @Shakriel! Packing up and moving at all is tough, let alone to new states. I’m stoked for you and I hope Seattle treats you well out of the gate.

 

I know people mean well when they offer advice but sometimes it really just makes you feel even worse. I’ve been single my whole life. Everyone knows that’s something I really would like to change and something I’m very insecure about so I’m constantly getting “advice.” But it’s really annoying when it’s people telling me “oh you must never get out of the house! I can’t even go to the grocery store without men flirting with me!” I go out multiple times a week every week. I can count on 1 hand the amount of times in my entire life I’ve had a man flirt with me and they were old men or creeps. And it’s always pretty women who tell me this “advice.” Like yes, I’m sure men do approach you but not all of us are attractive soooo!!! I know they’re not meaning it that way but it’s hard not to take it personally. I already struggle with feeling like clearly there’s something wrong with me and I’m completely unloveable and being surrounded by people who have never struggled finding people who want to date them doesn’t help me feel any better. Then I feel bad being upset bc I know it can be really scary and awful for those women to constantly have to deal with men and their unwanted attention and they probably wish they were basically invisible like me. I just wish I could skip all this bullshit and go straight to being in a healthy, happy relationship but probably just gonna be alone forever and idk how to deal with that possibility.

 

TW: death

Two weeks ago my dad died, and then like a day later my grandma (mom’s side) did as well. Totally unrelated, he was diagnosed with cancer like 10 years ago, it went into remission, came back, and spread. She had been living with Lewy body dementia for the last 7 years. So I knew this was all coming, but not that it was so close, and definitely could not have anticipated it all basically happening at once, and so processing it all has been surreal and overwhelming.

Outside of my spouse and therapist (who have been MVPs), I’ve been finding it pretty hard to talk to anyone about it. Everyone was so kind, but back to back memorials and you start logging every time a stranger comes up to you with that horrified realization look on their face as “the amount of loss you just experienced is making people uncomfortable.” Which, I totally get it, but it was hard not to feel a little like a spectacle. So as an antidote to that feeling of discouragement I guess I’m posting about it online lol, might delete later. TLDR: shit sucks dawg

 

I can't relate to what you're going through exactly, but I can absolutely relate to that feeling and I'm really, really sorry you're dealing with so much. I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to share here. I'm rooting for you, friend.

 

Thank you, really

 

I was upset tonight because I couldn’t get a switch 2 but then I realized I shouldn’t be wasting all my time with video games anyway, might be in a concentration or wellness camp by the time the console releases so I should live as much as I can until I’m inevitably k*lled for merely existing.


Everything fucking sucks & I’m very fucking scared