Mental Health Thread • Page 489

My wife is going through her 3rd miscarriage in a row. I locked myself away for a bit to grieve.. navigating this is so hard. I feel so badly for her. Makes me even more grateful for my 7 year old daughter.

 

That’s awful and I hope you and your wife are ok.

 

I am so, so sorry friend. That's awful. I feel for both of you. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you need.

 

Thanks all.

 

I’m always worried that people in my life think I’m weird and/or annoying but aren’t telling me and only interact with me out of politeness/ a sense of obligation and the constant overthinking is so stressful and exhausting

There’s a personal history that’s helped shape why I think that so even though I know it’s not totally rational, it doesn’t feel that way. It causes me avoid social situations a lot more than I otherwise would and makes me feel like I can’t really be myself around others, and I don’t know how to get over that

 

How you holding up since posting about it. I just found my way over here and saw this. Im not trying to do the whole "I know what your going through" but id be lying if I didn't say I'm struggling directly with some of exactly what you said. The sleep related stuff is a big one for me on top of struggling with getting any kind of consistency otherwise being fucked as well.
Id go through waves of struggling with not having anyone to lean on at times but I usually always come back around to "what's it matter if I had someone to reach out to is only he burdening them then feel bothersome for that"
Plus sometimes talking is the last thing I wanna do especially when it's usually pretty obvious it won't help.
Ahh shit I don't think I quite went in the direction I meant to with that. Sorry man. I hate the corny cliche shit you hear about mental health so I'll just say this, you might be sometimes alone but I only not the only person out there suffering similar things. Over 30 years at this point for me, idk how id end up responding without the physical agony... Hang in there dude

 

Would appreciate any perspective or insight espesh from any parents on here. Gonna put things behind a spoiler cut cause of death and it's long and stuff idk

my brother in law died this week and obviously it's devastating for my nephew who just turned 11. My sister and BIL are divorced but got together when we were like 14. Her BF is even close with my BIL and is gonna be an honorary pallbearer. Anyway, her bfs son who I guess ill refer to as my nephews stepbrother is neuroatypical. Idk his diagnoses except I know he has ADHD. He was pulled from in person school due to behavioral issues and is homeschooled. He is the same age as my nephew. His mom lives a few hours away. I think since he's been homeschooled his parents have 50/50 custody.

Anyway stepbrother sometimes has issues with empathy. He's a sweet kid but when he's in an episode or triggered he can be cruel. I think sometimes he realizes what he's doing and sometimes he doesn't. The day my BIL died, he told my nephew "nobody wants to hear you talk about your dad anymore." Obviously my nephew was upset by that and it made him cry. He also later told my nephew "I've been having a worse day than you!"

When our uncle died my sister really didn't want stepbrother at the funeral. She loves this kid like her own, but she wanted to be able to grieve and see family she hadn't seen in years and knew stepbrother would struggle. Her BF insisted that they try it and let him go. He went and Complained about being bored and wanting to leave the whole time.

My sister doesn't think it's a good idea for him to be at my BIL's funeral. I am biased and agree because I'm protective of my sis and nephew. Her BF doesn't want his son excluded and says he'll never learn how to behave in situations if he's excluded from them. Plus stepbrother knew my BIL too, although not well. Her BF bought some books about emotional regulation and plans to do some work with his son between now and the funeral to prep and work with his kid.

Idk I think my sis and nephew are allowed to be "selfish" and request he not be present. I think ultimately she'll feel too bad and say he can go. I suggested they have a plan B and if he starts complaining or struggling, the bf takes him out. I don't think bf will like that plan because he wants to be there by my sisters side. But idk who else should miss the funeral to do that??

Idk, I'd welcome any input or advice and if anyone is a parent and can share how they'd feel, espesh if their kid was the stepbrother in this scenario. It just sucks

 

Yeah it definitely is something that the bf should step in and leave with his son if it comes to that. It’s a very emotional and trying day for your sister and nephew. He needs to know that

 

I don't have a lot of advice, but I relate to this deeply

 

Thanks! Yeah I think so too. People often ask my advice which is funny cause I'm not a parent but I work with children professionally. So she and her BF were asking me what I thought and I was trying to be supportive but not step on toes

I'm hoping the celebration of life thing will be active enough that the stepbrother won't get bored. I think he does have empathy he can just be impulsive and struggle with social cues and it interferes with him responding empathetically sometimes. I may also just bring my fun auntie bag of tricks to keep him entertained if needed. I don't think my sister and her BF have even had a chance to thoroughly communicate because things have been so busy since my BIL passed and she's been so focused on being there for my nephew.

Luckily the funeral/celebration of life is a few weeks away so they have time to figure it out.

 

I hate the city/area I live in. I feel stuck. I want to move to a different state or completely different area code but that’s easier said than done. I can’t afford it on my own. I can barely afford it as of now where I’m at. The only hope I have is finding a partner and them also wanting to move out of the area. But I don’t think it’s in the cards for me. I hate being lonely. I hate not having any support. I hate not having someone to talk or or fall asleep next to. The empty feeling sucks. Unless you’ve truly been lonely like this for most of your life, one cannot understand the feeling. Wish I can go into more detail, but I don’t want to. Accepting a life of feeling stuck, loneliness, and depression is the most difficult thing to accept

 

I don't know if this helpful at all but I think three things helped me get over this, one of which unfortunately is not really replicable: 1) talk therapy 2) wellbutrin 3) getting way too fucked in public with my friends exactly one time and having them be incredibly kind and take incredible care of me

 

I just feel so fucking fucked and i'm tired. honestly i am so done. just fucking fuck everything.

 

So many aspects of my life are up in the air right now and it’s so exhausting

 

I have absolutely no idea how my wife and I are going to adjust not only our sleep schedules but the housework and our emotions when we go back to work in three weeks. I feel guilty complaining because eight weeks of parental leave is excellent relatively speaking, especially for a father, but I'm understanding why other countries give even longer now.

 

Know my depression is bad when I haven’t watched a film in 2 weeks or checked my favorite threads on here in a month.

 

feel very grateful my wife and i both got 16 weeks, it was nice that towards the end of that time she was starting to no longer be a slug and was fun to get full days with her for a bit in that stage

 

Mandatory parental leave of at least 3 months should be law. The company I worked for when I had my daughter had no parental leave for fathers. I used my two weeks of vacation, and my wife at the time had a c section so it’s not like she was better in just two weeks. It’s no wonder I am so scarred by the infant stage lol

 

My wife gets nothing and my new union contract gives me 3 weeks. PA sucks shit

 

i took 4 weeks because that’s all we could afford. i wish i had longer.

 

she got nothing? that’s absolutely fucked

 

TW: Details of medical procedures, hospitalization, chronic illness

I haven't posted here in a while but idk it feels like a good place to vent a bit. I have been going through a hell of a time since last fall. A bit of a story time as I try to gather my thoughts. Apologies if this is too long and meandering! I put spoiler tags around the more sensitive info.

I am currently recovering from Guillan-Barre Syndrome. In September I came down with a horrid respiratory virus that had me sicker than I've been in years. Right around the time I started to feel better from that sickness I started to get weird symptoms. My feet began to feel numb and tingling and then I felt the same in my hands.

I figured it was just exhaustion or muscle aches from the virus. I kept calling out of work (movie theater) but it was beginning to slow down for the season anyway. At the same time my symptoms got worse and worse. I kept saying it wasn't a big deal even though I could barely walk or get out of bed on my first try. I finally agreed to go to urgent care when my legs gave out as I was going downstairs from our second story apartment.

When I went to urgent care I collapsed again -- fully conscious and aware, now in a full blown panic. The doctor tells me that they're calling an ambulance because I might be having a stroke. I'm 31 years old. She tells my mom to meet me at the hospital.

I was in the hospital for 9 days. I spent the first 12 hours in the ER after the doctor there tried to discharge me when I couldn't walk. Thank whoever for the nurse who advocated for me. I was transferred to another hospital who takes my (state-funded) insurance where I spent another 12 hours in their ER before I got a room.

My mom, who I live with, visited every day and spent the whole time there. I was incredibly lucky to get a private room in the neurology ward. I was pretty quickly diagnosed with Guillan-Barre which is an autoimmune syndrome where your body attacks the myelin sheath around the nerves. I underwent a procedure called plasmapheresis or plasma exchange which was 5 daily treatments lasting 2-4 hours where my blood was taken out and returned from a femoral catheter (that was in place for 7 days) with the plasma replaced with albumin.

I was released from the hospital at the very end of October and made it home just in time to watch the Dodgers win the World Series. I had been watching the games earlier that week which helped keep me sane.

Since then I've been recovering at home. I haven't had a drink since the beginning of October which is the longest I've gone since college. I have started seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist who started me on medication for anxiety and depression with possible bipolar. My dad is very bipolar and heavily medicated for it so it's no surprise.

It's been weird. I'm still adjusting my medication doses with the guidance of my psychiatrist but holy hell. It just feels like so much at once. I've been on medical leave from work so I'm at home just in my thoughts.

I am physically getting better. I'm still using a walker for support. I have referrals for more PT/OT and to see a neurologist. Because I have the insurance I have it takes forever for anything to happen. I should make a full recovery eventually but not having a timeline drives me batty.

Mentally I'm still all over the place. I'm up and down with the mood stabilizer plus I'm having the fun side effects with appetite. I'd be more impulsive if I had the money to spend. I think it's a good thing I have this time off to deal with everything but I still am up at night worrying.

I'm going to go visit work on Friday to see the new Looney Toons movie with my mom. I'm honestly terrified to see people I know while using my walker. But hopefully I won't have to use it next month when I start back.

I don't really have a point to end on. It just feels good to kind of get everything out on (virtual) paper. I'm working on myself slowly and maybe I can make up for time I lost over the past few years.

 

Tell Fetterman to do his fucking job

 

My mistake. 5 paid days, then she needs to use all of her sick/personal time and then the rest is unpaid through FMLA. Her last job was completely unpaid.

 

just complete bullshit