Mental Health Thread • Page 488

Edit: Actually, no, you know what, I’m not going to just be that dismissive in a thread like this.

Look, I think pretty much every person who posts in here has been very respectful of each other and focuses solely on the title of the thread. If you’re posting in here, it’s typically not because you’re at the top of your game personally. People come here looking for support and advice and that is - from what I’ve seen - the exact response you’ll get. If you’re coming in hot - dialed in at 11 - and you’re combative, looking for a fight, and bringing up your politics, whining that you don’t get to say right leaning, controversial shit that makes people uncomfortable then…maybe take a look at the title of the thread, then take a look in the mirror, and start over.

I was around on the ap.net days and remember how bad things could get there. I understand there are those out there who still feel that way about Chorus. I also still believe there is room for growth, always. I prefer to refrain from arguing with anyone on Chorus because it’s terrible for my own mental health. I quit posting anything on any of my socials for the same reason. I just also don’t feel comfortable remaining silent when it seems like, as of late for some reason, there are accounts popping up with either the intention to troll, argue, or be deliberately obtuse, and they seem to be navigating here, which feels especially frustrating when the thread is the damned Mental Health thread. I don’t think @Albe is intentionally here just to rile everyone up. I think this person has been posting in enough threads to actively want to spend time on this site and just so happens to have political views that are adverse to most here. Do I think they’ve maybe done a poor job engaging? Yeah. Do I think there’s room and potential for them to grow and learn? Yes. Will they? That’s up to them, but coming to this thread and pushing buttons and then pointing the finger at those who are just in here to be supportive and share their struggles after they’ve had enough is disingenuous and deserving of being called out.

 

For context this is the post referenced here. It was a joke play on words. Not ableism.

 

A safe space requires unsafe posts to be removed.

 

I can’t sleep. I got myself thinking about stuff I’m trying to forget. My heart hurts. I wish I had someone I could fall asleep next to and wake up next to them the next day. I hate being alone. I hate not having anyone to talk to. I hate how all of this is a familiar feeling.

 

I've been sick on and off for the last three months since I started this job teaching kids. this latest cold knocked out my smell for a day and when it came back it was mostly wrong. weird new smells where they shouldn't be. not covid. never gone through this before but some of these smells are awful and it's stressing me the fuck out. viral sinus infection most likely, but I can't see the doctor until Monday. until then I have to just freak out until my smell goes back to normal

 

I don't envy teachers, and it sucks because we're really nervous having one of our friends meet our newborn because it seems like he has something new every other week. Brutal occupation.

 

Well my worst fears just came true, Medicare and Medicaid are the reason I’m alive and get the disability support I do. Cutting those programs will put me in a very, very dark situation. My life is already insufferable, they just straight up want me dead & I can’t guarantee that won’t happen with the bare minimum gone.

 

Best friend of 20 years is moving away tomorrow. Also coming up on two years since my other best friend just straight up ghosted me. I only have my girlfriend, and while I am immensely grateful, it still hurts. Feels like things are changing too fast for me and I am not prepared to enter into a new chapter.

 

Sometimes I get really depressed about how my career is slowly getting replaced by AI. Seems that middle class software engineers are getting phased out, and unless you're a genius developing new AI for companies like Google, you're SOL. I'm fine for now, but my company already laid off 2% of our IT employees last year, which is a lot for an international company with thousands of employees. I see a lot of people on Reddit saying they've been hunting for jobs for over a year now.

I do have an IT degree so I learned about hardware, too, but now everything is moving to the cloud anyways. Data centers are getting phased out at a lot of companies in favor of solutions like AWS.

 

I’m going on my first big vacation in almost 30 years and I just don’t give a shit. Doing a destination vacation was so alien to me growing up because my family did it so sparingly and it honestly makes me uncomfortable on a level. I’m devoted to making sure my kid has a great vacation to remember ultimately though, I’d rather she have a fantastic time if I can’t be happy about it.

 

I think my relationship is ending and I don’t know what to do. I’m a fucking wreck right now.

 

I'm really sorry. that really sucks. just remember whatever happens, embrace your emotions, let them come when they come and feel them when theyre there

that's all you have control over y'know. everyone's been there, so if you feel alone, it might take some time but you will get through it and get where you need to be

 

We’re talking again tonight and I cannot focus on work at all today. I feel like I’m on the verge of crying and throwing up. I feel so lost.

 

my cousin had twins a few days ago. one was born with a heart defect and they were told he probably wouldn’t even survive beyond his birth. he did survive it but I was told a little while ago that he passed and I’m so fucked up over it

 

Oh Jesus, I’m so, so sorry. That’s fucking awful. I can’t imagine the heartbreak.

 

I am not ok. Left work after 15 minutes because I couldn’t do it and I’ve just been sitting in my car for hours. I don’t want to go home because it was/is our space. Everywhere in this city reminds me of her, everything makes me think of her. I still love her so much and I’m going to miss her, one of our cats, the house, and her family. I feel like a shell of a person.

 

welp, just got laid off for the 2nd time in 15 months. this was a really good paying job that i really enjoyed. fucking devastated. on the day the tariffs kick in no less. unlike my last job i'm not getting any severance so i'm gonna have to go on unemployment for the first time in my life. absolutely terrified about my prospects with the current admin in power.

 

So sorry to hear this man, was thinking of you two last night and hoping things were heading in a better direction. You’re so right that a relationship that long winds up putting more at risk, such as family. I’m sure they’ll miss you too. Don’t be afraid to lean on your support system, and if there’s anything I can do to help lmk. I’m headed home back up to Portland in a couple of weeks, it’s far but you’ve got a place to crash there if you ever need to just ditch town for a minute

 

I’m sorry and here to talk if you like

 

Thanks guys, really appreciate you both. We decided to see where things are at the end of the month but I think we both get the feeling it’s already too late. I know I will be ok eventually but it’s hard. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with her. She’s the longest relationship I’ve ever had and have never lived with a partner before. Much harder when you’ve built a life together.

Looking on the bright side, if this ends I’ll be moving back to New England and will have a built-in out for my job.

 

Literally none of this is okay. My brother in law is hanging on but can't speak and it's so stressful to be on like death watch every day waiting. And seeing potential rough draft funeral invites being sent when he's still alive. And I'm not judging his mom at all for working on funeral invites and planning and stuff because I know it's giving her a sense of purpose and structure and I can't imagine her devastation seeing her oldest son slowly dying but it's just a lot.

Logically you grow up knowing death exists but the older I get and the more people die who I just assumed would always be here even though logically I knew they wouldn't is surreal

 

Today was actually ok, not without its rough points but better than yesterday. Made it through work, did laundry, went to the gym, hung out and watched The Sopranos with my partner. Even if it ends I hope we can have a few more good days together. It’s our anniversary tomorrow and I got reservations a few weeks ago to our favorite gin bar/restaurant for Friday. We are still going but she asked that we don’t celebrate since it doesn’t feel right. I agree and am looking forward to it, even if it ends up being our last date.

 

Man, I am sorry to hear all of that. Glad to hear about your headspace improving but just try to be thoughtful and kind to yourself in the coming weeks. My wife and I did similar things when we broke up for a few months in our 20s (stayed under the same roof, went to a Death Cab show together, etc.) and if one of you is more ready to just be friends, there is andefinitely a risk of bad vibes/resentment brewing regardless of intentions. I don't say that to rain on your parade, just want you to see thing hurt more than they already do. Wishing you the best.

 

I appreciate it, Aaron. I do tend to hang on as long as I can in relationships and usually end up taking a very long time to get over someone. I have a feeling we’ll probably talk again this weekend. I want to spend as much time as I can with her but I know it’s also not healthy to be in this limbo feeling defeated with potential false hope for a prolonged time. I tear up looking at pictures we have on the fridge. It’s going to be a tough day today, thank god my therapist was able to fit me in this evening.

 

Sorry to be posting through it in here but more and more I think we need to rip the bandaid off. It’s absolutely not what I want to do but I don’t know if I can just carry on another month like this. All my friends and family are in New England, Philly, and NYC and while it’s been really helpful talking with them I think I need someone physically there for support. I guess we see how tomorrow goes but I’m not sure it’s fair to either of us to prolong the hurt. Might be best to just let each other start healing.

I also have an interview tomorrow that I was excited about but now I’m worried I won’t be able to focus on it. It’s for a job here in Buffalo so it might not even be something that makes sense. Still going to take it because it’s good practice but fuck.