Mental Health Thread • Page 480

How old is he now?

 

Some people love it but I do not miss the infant stage at all. The pictures make it look like it was all cute but it’s too recent, I still know better

 

just a week old today. i honestly feel bad for even feeling frustrated since he’s so little and it’s not like he’s doing it on purpose. honestly overall the transition to parenthood has been going as well as i could have imagined, it’s just wild to go from 0 to 100, you know? like within moments we went from being able to do what we want when we want to our schedule entirely being dictated by him.

 

Oh absolutely, the adjustment is super hard. You’re in the thick of it buts it’s going to get so much better and easier

 

I definitely had a 'what have we done' moment when my son was about a week old. If it makes you feel better, I barely remember that time now.

 

thanks yall, that’s encouraging. he’s amazing, i’m just notoriously bad at change and transitions so this one is a doozy, lmao.

 

Went to be early only to not sleep and me bawling my eyes out ugly crying. This heartbreak is so painful.

 

I am terrified at how I am going to afford to continue living in MA, but I am otherwise numb to the dissolution of my eight year relationship. I am scared for my ex for a number of reasons, but so far I have managed to suppress those feelings as they arise and accept that everything is now out my hands.

I hate the idea of being single at 35 because I consider myself old, ugly, uninteresting, and stupid, but there is a small amount of hope there, too: hope to become my own person again, hope to find confidence and self esteem that was severely chipped away at the past several years, especially the last four.

I don’t want to say anything negative on the internet about my ex, but things really took a turn in 2020 and I have not felt loved, liked, or respected since, and these feelings were often confirmed by her, sometimes cruelly. I am looking forward to no more nights in bed, frozen in fear that I was stuck in something unhealthy, abnormal; that I was too weak to make change happen even though that is the truth. I am looking forward to focusing on myself again, and having a life. I do know I’m going to feel deep regret over this relationship lasting as long as it did, and it’s going to be incredibly hard to shake that off, but I will try my best.

One thing that always happens to me in relationships is that I basically cease to exist outside of them. I let friendships languish, I stop doing anything on my own even when there’s something I really want to do, and now it feels like I have a lot of rebuilding to do. Which, in a way, feels empowering.

 

You're definitely hitting close to home here. I feel similarly in most ways you just highlighted. I kind of lost all of my friendships during my relationship. I gotta start mending fences and going on an apology tour with old friends. But, definitely scary to do and I keep procrastinating heh.

 

You just gotta reach out from my experience, people who care will listen. I will say too though that you have to accept those who don’t want to reconnect, it sucks and it definitely hurts your feelings when it happens but I promise it gets better after you acknowledge it and move on. Understand too that if someone doesn’t wanna to talk and they don’t elaborate why, then it’s not your problem.

 

Thanks. That helps. I feel so shitty, I don't even know if two of my buddies are still roommates anymore and they live 15-20 minutes up the road. I used to live with them for two years during college and remained friends for years after we graduated! What's wrong with me?

 

Nothings wrong with you, honestly a lot of getting older is the friend circle shrinks. Lots of people (the majority) struggle to balance a relationship/friendship/work/life responsibilities/fun. It’s tough. I try to remind myself that for the most part, people are high-strung, with lots on their plate so coming back to them with a a hey sorry for disappearing but I’d like to reconnect in this friendship they’re usually understanding. And if they’re not, they weren’t long-term friends in the first place, imo

 

It's just wild, my sister and her fiance invited me to New Year's at their friend's place and there were like 12 people all super close in relationships with jobs and I'm envious of how they have all maintained that lol. They regularly go on ski trips and airbnb together, I don't know how they balance it

 

Beats the fuck out of me. Best I’m able to do most days is send an instagram dm to my friends lol

 

I feel ya, it's hard to even grocery shop after a day of work

 

I had a close group of friends especially 2018-2019 but during the pandemic we all kinda went our own ways so now the only people I see are my fiancée and 2 bandmates. I miss my old social life tbh

 

Here I am crying myself to sleep again

 

I don’t want to be here anymore.

 

I'm sorry, friend. I've been there. It won't change your mind, but you should know how many of us are happy that you are here. Wishing you the absolute best.

 

Long story short, I asked for a raise at work, was told there was no money and my position wasn't safe but that they'd like to transition me into a role where they can pay me more. Started the job before Christmas, just started getting the new salary on 1/1, it's $1000 less than anticipated and the stress has literally been off the charts from the week before the holidays until now (still stressful). I know it's likely just because it's the end/beginning of the semester and things are just crazy, but I'm so worried the job is going to be too much and I'm not going to be able to do it. I also wonder about asking for that extra grand but don't want to bite the hand that feeds because it's not really up to my boss (it's up to the Provost and HR) and it feels like it will put extra pressure on me.

Ugh. I'll leave having gotten a lot done today, but I'm literally working so hard that I don't know what to do with myself when I get home. So much to do all the time, especially with the baby on the way.

 

$1k less annually?

 

Yep

 

I initially thought 1k less per month and was like jfc.

 

It's also tough because my Dean literally said "don't quote me, but I'm expecting this to be 7.5k-10k more annually." And then it's 6.5k. Which may or may not be a lot, but kind of is for us with a baby on the way. I don't think she can do anything about it and I'm not gonna like complain directly to the provost lol. But the insult to injury is that on the Change of Status form with my new title and salary, the notes told me how much they were saving by combining the two positions (like 23k plus benefits) lmao. Kind of shitty.

 

I feel like I’m about to get let go from my job. Enrollment has been down due to factors outside of my department’s control and my department is always the first to be blamed. My whole team is getting worried, we each do the job of 3 different people. Can’t stop stressing about it but also kind of at peace with it if it happens because I’ve been wanting to quit for a year. I’d be fucked financially but I don’t get paid well to begin with.