Mental Health Thread • Page 475

I’ve been with my wife for 14 years. I end saying things with “my lady” in a British accent when I do things for her. Or I say “be a dear and ____” when I ask her to do something small because it’s an inside joke.

I feel like I could never go back to dating.

 

I really have the worst luck I swear!! I’ve been trying to find groups to join to make friends but my options are very limited since I don’t live in a big city. Finally found one I was interested in only to find out the creep I went on a date with is a member. Now I don’t feel comfortable going so looks like that’s out. I seriously feel like I’m never going to make any friends! I’m just so sick of being alone all the time. And my regular depression is being amplified by my seasonal depression so I’m feeling even worse lately.

 

Really anxious about an afternoon meeting tomorrow with the big boss over a raise request I made. I've never done that before, so I don't know what to expect.

 

I'm 32 and haven't done an open mic since I was 18.... Reaaaally gotta change that soon now that I'm single. Think it would be good for me

 

How'd it go?

 

Some insanely fucked up shit happened to me tonight and I’m already so stressed anxious and depressed with so much shit going on and has been going on for like a decade. I don’t know how much more I can take; I’m so over everything and existing.

 

@jkauf sorry, I know that feeling. I hope things do get better!

 

I’m sorry to hear that I hope you’re ok

 

No hyberpole, one of the worst weeks of my life.

 

Sometimes I have those and within a few weeks they’re so far in the rear view that I feel like it didn’t even phase me in the long run. Hoping for the best @jkauf

 

The fact they even tried with the MK Ultra stuff among other horrible experiments on civilians tells me to never trust the government, they'll never have our best interest at heart.

 

I know substance abuse isn't a good thing but this weekend has been my first time alone since the breakup and I've been really digging ending the last couple nights laid back in my recliner, cat and blanket in my lap, with a beer and a weed pen watching all the shows I never got to finish because she hated them. Probably should be careful, though. Never been a big drinker and hadn't bought a beer in probably two years, but I've been getting regular buzzes at the end of my nights on some pumpkin beers since my birthday

Weed is whatever. Been doing it daily for 14 years now.

 

I just got my heart broken, in the same way my ex broke my heart 6 years ago. Blindsided

 

Hey, thanks for following up, that's very kind of you :) it was kinda good, kinda bad, and interesting all at once. They basically told me they have no money right now, which I knew, but also that they feared my role might not be justifiable in 1-2 years if enrollment keeps going down. (I really, truly feel like this was told to me in good faith and not as any kind of scare tactic.) HOWEVER, they had someone just quit a role in the Dean's office, and they're struggling to keep someone there because the pay is low for the skillsets they're asking for. They know I want to stay and make more money, they would like to find a way to make both of these things happen, so the suggestion was, with the Provost's approval, I could move into this new position, which would be restructured to include some of my current functions but also trimmed down to make sure it is manageable for one person, and then instead of giving me a few more dollars an hour, they could give me 7.5k-10k more a year (while saving themselves like 20k).

It's a lot, and I have complicated feelings about it. It's not really a role I'm interested in, or honestly think I would be very good at. But I really do like working there, the benefits are really great and that difference in pay would really make a dent in our current financial situation with the baby on the way. I can't imagine I'll say no if it's officially offered to me, but I'll want to review the job description before agreeing to or signing anything to make sure it is in fact manageable, and I'm gonna want to ensure training is available for the software I'm less (or not at all) familiar with.

 

Yeah taking a job like that is scary, gotta make sure you’re in a position to succeed.

 

I am once again trying to cut back on drinking. My intake has been down 50% over the past two months, so about once a week, but I realize it's triggering that guilt/shame complex I have right now. It shouldn't be, and I'd love to get to a point where I can have a few beers without that happening, but a I'm trying to do whatever I can to supplement my peace of mind these days.

 

Forgot to mention this in my original post, but I hope you are doing okay @jkauf I'm thinking about ya.

 

Big post coming.

 

I feel worthless. Never good enough. Feel like something is wrong with me. Didn’t think id be alone on the holidays. Reason why I hate holidays. My biggest fear is really coming true

 

TW: addiction, domestic violence, suicide

My brother is an alcoholic and possibly bipolar and/or experiences stages of manic depression and anger every few months which leads to more severe drinking and bad decision making. He is going through a divorce after just having a kid with his ex and also has been struggling to find a job because of a DUI on his record. He owns a retail store that is definitely not doing well and he owes a lot of money. Also can’t afford his house right now since his ex moved out and he doesn’t have a job (he used to have a FT job and was running the store at the same time). Anyway a few days ago he was trying to visit his ex and his kid and found out she may have been talking to another dude. He freaked out, started drinking, and hit her. She sent us the picture of her black eye and it’s horrific. We tried to get her to go to a hotel with the kid but we don’t think she did. This is all going down in California while I’m in Minnesota. She didn’t want to call the cops because they’ve been out for domestic disturbance calls before and she doesn’t want to lose the kid. At some point my brother started acting suicidal so my mom called some type of mental health line with the city for a wellness check. They came out and I guess took him to the hospital but are also working with the cops and are now taking him to jail for domestic violence. It sounds like he may have set a small fire in his ex’s apartment and they may charge him with arson too though I don’t think there was much damage. So he’s on the way to jail and his ex is traumatized and now I’m going to have to go out to CA on Wednesday to provide some type of help. This is another chapter in the saga of my entire immediate family being addicts. My mom is a recovering alcoholic who I almost cut off contact with before giving her one more chance and my dad who lives in Mexico is always slipping in and out of drinking too much and being depressed. There are numerous times in my life where I feel like I need to somehow baby sit or help clean up after my family members and I have very little patience for doing this type of shit anymore. The very hard part is that when it’s your family, it can be impossible to give up on them. Part of me wants to just divorce my entire family and the other part of me knows that I’ll regret things later if I cut them out and never speak with them again. I hate feeling trapped like this.

 

Guys I'm a loser who needs to break up with my therapist but I can't. She's not particularly helpful anymore. I've been seeing her for 5 years but she's become a brainwashed trump supporter and the fact I even know that because she has no boundaries and inserts it into our sessions. It just sucks cause she sees me more frequently than anyone else prob will, and she doesn't charge me a copay. And we have a deal where she doesn't bill me for late cancellations because she knows my job is crazy and sometimes unpredictable. And she's not actively hurtful to my mental health. Just not rly helpful

But this is why I haven't dumped her yet and it's literally so dumb. But if I tell her it's because of the trump stuff (which is the reason) she'll chalk me up as a crazy lib who broke off a long therapeutic relationship just because of my intolerant politics and blah blah like all those conservative ppl on tiktok whining that family members disowned them. And I don't wanna give her the satisfaction. So as I'm typing this out I feel like maybe I should just lie about the reason so I break it off and don't give her that ammo. I know it doesn't even matter. But I'm dumb and petty and stubborn. Hence the need for therapy lol.

 

I don't know what's going on, but I have a lot on my mind lately. I’ve been feeling unmotivated and sleepy all the time.

 

I'm so scared of dying. My anxiety is bad now and I can't stop feeling my heartbeat.

 

I have this a lot. Big ol' periodical panic attacks about death, and then I have no idea how people aren't having the same thing all the time?

 

I see videos on Tiktok being like "I took this new medication and now I can finally write my book and do my laundry and stuff" and I'm just sitting wondering how ANYONE is able to function when we die and the world is completely insane