Mental Health Thread • Page 463

Well I was anxious all night until I went to my buddy’s house for the draft and had one of the better nights of the last few months so that makes up for it some what.

 

IDK. It’s been hard for me to identify what exactly is causing it but back to school is part of it. I guess I don’t do well with change. Having time with my kids all summer and getting that taken away really sucks.

 

Had an MRI that thankfully came back fine, but I apparently have a 6mm cyst at the back left of my nose and now my brain is swirling over wtf it is

 

Ayy just doing an MRI would give me a panic attack. I’m sure it’s nothing!!

 

I got them to play me some Paramore over headphones so it was no sweat lmao

 

Day 2 of brupoprion let's go

 

i’m on week 4ish it’s been very good

 

I don't know how to stop being an asshole. I'm so negative about everything. I've been trying for years but there's clearly something fundamentally wrong with me.

 

How do I fix myself? Why do I hate everything that brings people joy? Therapy for decades hasn't done enough, neither has medication. I just don't understand why I'm like this.

 

I’ve done 3 MRIs and it’s hell every time, even with Valium. I hate riding elevators even, though, so.

 

I avoid elevators all the time.

 

I have this ALL the time. I really hope it goes away for you because I know how fucking awful it is to feel this way.

 

In NYC last week for work and the client was on the 45th floor, thought I was gonna freak on the ride up and down.

 

yeah that would fuck me up especially since the ride takes longer and it probably goes really fast lol

huge fear of getting trapped in a broken elevator

 

I had to get an MRI and several scans and tests and shit done while I was in full blown fentanyl withdrawal earlier this year and it was an absolutely miserable experience. I was in the waiting room for like 5-6 hours waiting and getting pulled for the MRI and an xray and some other thing they had to do and blood tests and all that and yeah that was just the beginning of what would turn out to be a real nightmare of a hospital stay which has pretty much made me vow to never go to a hospital again

 

I work at a hotel and I work on the 8th floor, get dressed on the 2nd, and the break room/cafe is on the 6th with parking on 4th so I’m taking elevators all day, but the fun twist is that one of the two we have in back of house breaks down CONSTANTLY. I haven’t been caught on it when it does yet but I’ve only been there six weeks so I’m sure it’ll happen eventually

 

I hate hospitals but I was in and out of them enough growing up that they really don't really phase me. Enough times where when I'm asked if I've ever had an MRI before by the techs I say yeah but I don't remember all of the reasons why lol.

 

You'd hate my apartment then, I've been trapped in ours at least 4 or 5 times haha

 

may god protect you

 

life is good these days for the most part, I’m finally making huge strides towards complete financial independence, it’s like yeah okay I’m 32 it’s about time but I also suffered from a horrible disability throughout my 20s that made my life impossible to live despite everything I’ve been given by my parents and it’s a wonder I even made it out of my last relapse and mental breakdown alive let alone come up absolutely thriving a short 6 and a half months later but here we are. It’s exciting and scary at the same time, and my job is good but it can be a lot especially the hours there is no getting cut early (very rarely maybe once every few weeks) and often getting stuck an hour past when you’re supposed to be “done” but the money and full benefits more than make up for it, plus overall it is good for me to have a 40 hour a week job to keep me busy. I’ve had some cravings lately, some thoughts and ideas on how to get away with a relapse if I wanted to but every time my mind goes there I’m like….but I don’t want to. So I don’t. I’m a little nervous heading into the fall season….sounds weird but just the weather can be triggering to me. If the crisp fall air hits my face just right on a sunny day I could be using two hours later with seemingly no explanation. I mean there is an explanation, I started using in October of 2015, I’ve relapsed in the fall months a lot and associate a lot of my using days with that kind of weather. I relapsed last fall on the same day as my “anniversary” of first using. Probably not a coincidence. So yeah something I need to keep in mind coming up. And like fall and early winter are my favorite seasons and I’ve missed too many years during that season either strung out or stuck indoors at a treatment center. I didn’t even get to decorate my condo for Christmas last year. It’s important to me to stay clean so I don’t miss out on little things that make my life full

 

Good for you dude.

 

Fuck. THAT.

 

The worst MRI is for your brain when they put the cage over your face/head. Ugh.

 

Haha that was me! It was kinda neat though, they had some sort of augmented reality video going on above me? Like, I could see a nature scene floating on the ceiling?