Mental Health Thread • Page 462

I came to the hard realization this morning that I’ve been perpetually angry and bitter about being a single parent and have been internalizing that pain. I have been frustrated with my daughter quite a bit lately but it’s not ultimately her fault, I’m just frustrated having to be two parents and feeling like I’m in over my head all the time. I also have to take a step back and acknowledge that if she’s being messy or forgetful, that’s on me for not being a better parent and teaching her better.

I think not having my emotional needs being met is ultimately the reason why I feel this way. I gave up having an adult social life as a parent normally does for their kid(s) but since I’m a single parent too, I’m also lonely and I don’t really have time to date. Don’t get me started on dating apps.

I just feel trapped and frustrated. It’s affecting my ability to be a better parent and that’s not fair to my daughter, I wish I could figure out how to get out of this rut in my life.

 

Haven’t felt this way in a while but…..just feeling like I would be better off not around. Fucking sucks

 

Shitty husband, shitty dad and a shitty employee

 

No man you’re not those things.

 

I know that feeling well and concur even if I know you primarily from this site. You're doing what you can like the rest of us. Hang in there

 

Well, it's a boy, and while I was hoping for a girl, we're both still very excited. I'm just also very frightened of my son being indoctrinated by the internet and Incel culture and Adin Ross and whatever other dangerous shit I gotta worry about

 

Then again, I was watching extreme violence (not by choice) on LiveLeak as a teen and I turned out semi-normal

 

Congrats! As long as you raise him your best I'm sure he'll be fine!

 

Thank you for the vote of confidence, lol

 

Haha, you've got this!!

 

Ok so I opted out of BetterHelp and instead booked a session through my insurance. Although now I’m freaking out that I’ve picked the wrong counselor. I had no idea there’s such a broad spectrum of counseling credentials. The counselor I scheduled with is a “PMHNP.” Is that fine? Others are telling me that I shouldn’t go with a nurse practitioner, and instead should find a LCSW.
Navigating this isn’t easy, especially when you’re already dealing with anxious thoughts!

 

A rain cloud of depression has been pouring down on me for the last 48 hours. I can barely get off the couch. I’m not being helpful to anyone in my house. My wife is really understanding but still I hate it.

 

Sometimes I'll have a really nice day or weekend and then randomly get the vague sense that something is missing as it comes to an end. Kind of like an "Is this all there is?" feeling, which is weird and sucks because I'm grateful for what's happening in my life and for my family. There just always seems to be this deep-rooted sadness underneath it all. Like even when things are relatively good, I know the bad is still there, and it holds me back from being fully present and enjoying things.

 

Feeling so empty lately.

 

This happens to me a lot too. Sometimes it just seems to hit me that this is my life. And it's not a bad life at all and I have a lot of privilege and so it feels ungrateful but it really is like an ".... Oh, so this is really it? Just this?" Kind of feeling. I never even felt I was ever destined for great things or anything to feel bad about or compare to. More of an existential dread of we just do this every day until we die?? We have one life and as a society decided it should be like this?? Um okay I guess.

 

I think what kills me is that I know people who have no problem accepting this, and I'm actually envious of that. It's like depression and anxiety comes with this hyper-self-awareness switch that is always in the ON position, and if you could just manage to switch it off every once in a while like people without those issues, you might be able to live in the present and just be happy for once. I feel like such a baby complaining about this, but I wish my brain wasn't wired to constantly sabotage the way I'm feeling.

 

Been struggling with my confidence the last few weeks. Having trouble getting started on work tasks for fear I'm going to fuck them up, even though there have been no issues with that in the past or with the tasks I've been able to complete. And starting to overanalyze micro-moments in interactions I've had with people and worrying I embarrassed myself or offended the other person somehow, but there's no evidence of that in the moment or even after.

I'm not sure what brought it on, but maybe some post-vacation blues? It's been over 3 weeks since we got back though and I've never had that feeling last more than a day or two.

And my rational brain knows these thoughts are irrational - even typing them out I can recognize that I have no actual reason to feel that way - but then my emotional brain takes over and is like "Nah, fuck that guy, he's an idiot and so are you." idk

 

Totally get that. I don't have much advice, because I'm there quite often, but I certainly empathize and would reassure you that most if not all of it is simply overthinking.

 

Thanks and I definitely recognize that it's overthinking. I guess that's what's kind of most frustrating: I can rationalize why it's incorrect but I still can't shake the feeling.

 

Hmm… you seem trapped in a loop of self criticism and analysing too much. Perhaps it has something to do with post-holiday depression Though there may be more to it.

 

not feeling great today!!

 

Worst week of the last few years over here

 

Yeah, I have therapy tonight so I'm hoping that helps. Very nervous about a community faculty and staff meeting in an hour where they're making "several big announcements."

 

i slept like ass last night and probably had too much caffeine this morning, so i'm thinking that's a lot of it, but i just feel incredibly anxious and down.

 

bro I have not felt right since I woke up and drank a cup of coffee like my system is in overload lol there’s a reason I drink Diet Coke most mornings instead of coffee shit just makes me feel awful