Mental Health Thread • Page 457

do you wear or have you tried wearing compression sleeves? i don't run but i do power walk in the mornings, and my left knee is my always-bad knee so the pain sometimes made it hard to get through the walk and then go up and down the stairs at home after. i started wearing a compression sleeve on my knee when i walk and it has helped quite a bit. certainly doesn't fix any problems my knee might have but i have noticed quite a bit of difference in discomfort when walking/after.

 

I haven’t tried any compression sleeves but I did buy a cheap and simple knee brace this weekend. Due to delivery issues it didn’t come until yesterday so I haven’t had a chance to try that out yet. Might look into compression sleeves too. Why not lol

 

You ever sit in on a work meeting and realize you either haven't been working hard enough or are simply too dumb to know what you're actually doing? Sometimes realizing how stupid I am really makes me question everything about myself. I hate how much I require clarification of things other people understand without issue.

 

I'm a software engineer and I feel like this on a weekly basis.

 

I routinely have no idea what people are talking about (or arguing about) on my work calls lol. I’ve learned to accept that while part of it is definitely on me, another part of it is imposter syndrome mixed with other people just doing wayyy too much. I just keep my head down and get my work done and no one complains

 

Forgot the fun of side effects when first starting up new meds.

 

I work in health insurance and so feel this. It's such an insanely complex thing to learn and I'll be in meetings listening to people break down benefits and i'm so lost. Some emails I need to read 5 times over. I'm getting trained to take care of more complex cases right now and it's so over my head. I think that's the consensus for all the people in training though. I just tell myself i'm going to try my best and also remind myself a lot of the people I work with have been in the industry/this company for 10+ years while i have been for not even 2. I think that's key to remind yourself when struggling.

I always find a way no matter how many hoops I need to jump through first hah.

 

Haha senior software engineer here and I feel like a total fraud

 

I'm hoping to reach senior here pretty soon. Good to know my imposter syndrome won't hold me back!

 

Good luck! It's a pretty sweet gig. I essentially do the same job I always did, just with team mates coming to me for questions and peer programming more. My boss is kinda promotion-happy and I still mentor the other seniors lol.

 

I know it’s something I need to fix myself but fuck am I tired of stressing about money. Sitting here at work wondering how I’m going to afford trips/events we have coming up this fall and quickly spiraling. I’ve started to really dread things I should be looking forward to because of the cost.

 

I just finished my first week of my new job. I have worked 6 of the last 7 days about 8-10 hours each day. I haven’t worked this much in YEARS like pre pandemic so it’s….a lot. I’m done with my training so starting this week I will be on my own and making money. I got a glimpse at what my trainers were making each day they trained me and it is far more than I’ve ever made before waiting tables in my life. Like 30 bucks an hour average was an alright day for them. It is a very intense job though as it is very upscale and the expectations are unlike anything I’ve experienced just in terms of etiquette things like pouring from the right serving from the left, using guests last names, bottle service for wine (I’ve done this a little before but this is a step up) and the amount of menu knowledge I’m expected to have is very in depth which I was expecting based on the fact it’s a Gordon Ramsay concept but I got very good feedback from both my trainers and my gm today when I did my serve out (basically a mock serve on your managers where they test you) and I was supposed to do one for breakfast and lunch (I’m the AM server so those are the two shifts I cover) but after breakfast she was like I’ve seen enough you’re fine to start taking tables on your own which I did today and did very well. I mean I’ve been waiting tables for years I’ve just been out of work for 5 months so it took a little getting used to being comfortable again especially like I said it’s a very different style of service than I’m used to but I’m already taking to it quite well.


All that said good fucking GOD I am so tired. I have to be in at 6 most days and won’t get off until 3 maybe later depending on how busy it is and I was not ready for that even during training most places I’ve worked let you dip out after just a few hours most days of training since you’re largely doing book work and menu studying but nope which on the one hand fuck I’m tired but on the other I can already feel myself getting used to the schedule I’m on. I just really dislike not getting comfortably back home until nearly 4 knowing I’ll be getting ready for bed around 9. I’m used to having way more free time I also made way less money working closer to 25-30 hours a week as opposed to the solid 40 I’m going to be getting here. And with that full time schedule comes full time benefits which I couldn’t be more thrilled about after having marketplace insurance for the past 5 years.

I say all this because things are gonna go one of two ways from here on out right: it could be that I’ve finally tapped into my potential and work at the kind of establishment that could cement a career for me in hospitality and while I’ve never had ambitions of making a ton of money I also would like to not stress about money every second of every day which was my life for many many years during active addiction and during sobriety and this job is giving me that opportunity to live comfortably enough to have money leftover every month after bills are paid and food is bought for a concert, video games, vinyl, etc. without having to stress about every purchase I make. that sounds nice.

The other direction this could go, however, is a tale im all too familiar with: I burn the fuck out, relapse, use all that money I can make now to go on an absolutely legendary run that has a 50-50 shot of ending my life. We’re gonna try to make sure that doesn’t happen. This is a big opportunity here and I’ve burnt out before but my last job was so different and wound up being quite toxic for me in the end and maybe a change of scenery and style is enough to keep me going when it gets hard. Because it’s gonna get hard, I know that, but I also know I learned a lot about myself since I relapsed last October and have put in some serious work when it comes to my recovery to ensure it wont happen again. For a long while there I was adamantly against returning to the service industry but when push came to shove and I needed a job it’s just real hard to land anything else when that’s all that’s on my resume, especially when it’s an impressive resume like mine. But my stipulation was if I did serving again it had to be worth it and something new and this is both of those things. Sorry for the long winded post I just wanted to get my thoughts out after barely slowing down for the past week.

 

Dude I just want to take a minute to say congratulations, man. I know you've rightfully got all of those concerns swirling around in your head, but I hope you also know how proud all of us internet strangers are of you and your journey, and I certainly hope you are just as proud of yourself. You deserve to give yourself that credit. That schedule sounds utterly exhausting, but I know we all believe in you here and look at you! You're already rising to that challenge (your trainers already saw how ready you were and believe in you too) and who knows where it takes you from here. Pulling for you, truly.

 

You’re killing it and I’m rooting for you, you got this!

 

Having a rough, weird week at work. One of our employees was shot and killed on Monday by one of the people we're supposed to be helping. My day yesterday was mostly spent helping craft messages to media and our other residents. I work for an affordable housing non-profit and this community was for people living with psychiatric disabilities. The lady was the manager of the community and was killed by a resident. She loved her job and helping people and this is what she got for it. It's heartbreaking and I'll spare some of the details, but I can't stop thinking about the person there who witnessed it. I thought I was doing fine with it, but it all kind of came to a head last night and I had a breakdown. I wasn't staying in tune with my feelings and didn't realize until later all day, anytime someone came into my personal space I wanted to scream. I think I'm doing better today, the suddenness in which it came on was a little jarring and scary and we're obviously still dealing with it. I'll have to be conscious of how I'm feeling and make sure I have an appropriate outlet for it.

 

That’s horrible I’m very sorry you’re dealing with that

 

Sending my love that’s horrific

 

Take care of yourself @Daniel , it's always hardest when we're faced with things we can't make sense of.

 

Is it weird that I'm able to somehow just completely disable my crippling social anxiety when working with people in my job? Most of the time anyways. Outside of work, I'm a total disaster lol

 

Dude I am so sorry. That's so traumatizing; even if you weren't there to witness it, you still knew these people. Your feelings are 100% valid and understandable, wishing you a healthy time processing this

 

Really trying to make a mantra that is something along the lines of, “don’t let the idiots at work ruin my mood/day”.

and going forward trying to think that every time a coworker does some stupid shit it’s not because they truly are that stupid but maybe it’s them not giving a shit! or maybe they only use 10% of their brain and skills and that’s how they have energy after work to do normal things that I can’t because I’m exhausted by lunch daily dealing with these fucking people because I’m using too much brain power to correct their stupidity and wondering how they could be so bad at their job.

Maybe if I stop trying to teach them (because they don’t want to learn), maybe if I stop trying to replicate how they could make so many mistakes (because they don’t care if they do, they know they’re fucking shit up) then I will be less stressed out and not looking for a new job by 1:30 every day, and I can go back to just going through the motions like they all are and simply loathe my job or find it indifferent vs raging hostility. Maybe.

 

Can't decide about my masters

I can apply for a program thru my job. They'll pay a chunk of my tuition but I have to stay at my job for as many more years as they assist me. So if I commit to the program I'm committing to my job prob at least another five years (the time it takes me to complete my masters and then the years I'll owe back)

Obv I don't want tons of loans. I'm actually pretty good with my money tho. If I take them out I'm confident I'll pay them back. If I don't, my job qualifies for loan forgiveness after 10 years. Even if I switch jobs I'll likely remain in the field and will still qualify. My loans from undergrad and my car is paid off cause I'm responsible with my money (not saying those who haven't aren't responsible, just to say I have a track record of paying off my own debts). I don't have debt rn. I don't plan to leave my organization. But for some reason I am getting commitment issues if I feel like I have to stay at my job. I've had jobs where I planned to stay but then an unexpected change in supervisors literally ruined the job overnight. I guess I'm scared of something like that happening and feeling stuck

Do jobs ever actually make ppl pay tuition back if they leave too soon or is that just a threat to freak ppl out?

I'm also worried about work life balance. I don't have kids so it's a great time in that regard. But my job already consumes so much time. I finally have time to explore hobbies and volunteer. That'll likely be out the window if I apply

Only posting in here cause it's stressing me out!!

 

Also omg I've been on this site for so long I remember posting stressing about going to college and asking for advice feeling conflicted about choosing which college to get my bachelor's and that was over 10 years ago now! @Jason Tate and his lil website just casually consuming like 20 years of my life

 

This will be of no help, but I empathize going through a similar situation. I work for a university that will pay my tuition, but it's a full course.load (three classes, nine credits) on top of a full-time job and my wife is pregnant. I am going for it because it will only get hard to complete if the pregnancy goes well and we have an actual child, but then the last semester is a full-time internship that will likely require me to leave my job, so unless I can convince them otherwise (which is, to be fair, possible), I will be giving up half-off tuition for my family and GREAT insurance for an unknown career in clinical mental health counseling, which is very scary.

 

Sometimes, when I host friends on the weekend, I feel really depressed when they leave, like I can't be alone (my wife is already in bed). Something about the party ending and it being closer to the work week. I also start to doubt if anyone actually likes me or if I'm just being weird and talking too much (or not enough).