Mental Health Thread • Page 45

Having a pretty bad day for no actual reason, seemingly. It's only been a month but I really thought the transition into friendship/being roommates would start to get easier by now. Everyone said it would be hard, and I knew it would be, but it's not even like she's done anything wrong. She still says hello and what not and is extremely friendly. But even seeing her makes me sad, and I feel even worse when I am short with her just because interacting with her makes me sad. I still love her and I'm not sure how I can make it another ten months. I feel like I'm trapped

 

I get that completely. I'm still in my situation but only for a month more. Everyone told me to immediately move out and it would help. I don't know how flexible your landlord/management company is but ask if she has a friend or something that would want to take over your part of the lease. It is a terrible feeling to want to be around someone but at the same time being around them makes you more sad because it just isn't the same.

 

She actually offered to move out a bit ago but I really felt like I could make I work. I'm still not convinced that I can't, I think we're doing better now than we were a month ago. Just some days it's harder than other for some reason. She says I'm still like family to her - and I feel similarly. Just trying to keep myself busy. Glad you're close to being finished though!

 

Sometimes I dunno why I rush to get off work cause then I get to my house and just sit in my car for a sec like, why do I want to be home either? Not like there's anything to do here. Wish I looked forward to more.

 

I wish I worked outside the house for this reason. I am usually so ready to be done with work and then I just sit on my couch for hours. :/

 

yeah and what will fill that emptiness, society tells me dog and/or bae but is that right idk

 

rn it's chorus, netflix, and ontd, so my filler is the same as yours prob haha

 

I've been off my meds for over a week now and I'm still getting daily brain zaps it's driving me insane

Also I'm not sure if I'm going to go back on them...since I'm over 21 and not a student I'm not covered by my parents' insurance and they're so damn expensive.

 

My best friend tried to kill herself again. That is now twice in like a month. I'm so fucking mad at her right now. Is that a normal reaction? Because the first time I was just happy she was alive. Now I want to kick her ass.

 

Yeah I stay on my meds because I am not a fan of the Brain Zaps. Fuck that shit.

 

*hug* Kick her ass with love and support.

I need to check in on my friend - that's a good reminder. We've been super busy and I've been worried about him.

 

@JulieLynn so sorry to hear about your friend :( I can't speak to it personally but from what I've read anger is a pretty natural response to this stuff. I'm gonna second what @lish said about kicking her ass with love and support

 

I just feel like I could have stopped her from doing it last night, but she had me convinced she was going to be okay. I want to slap her and I want to hug her.

 

I kept saying "do you want me to come over?". I should have just got in the car at 2am and showed up at her house. Now my best friend is probably going to be in a hospital for god knows how long because this is the second time in a month she's attempted suicide. Breaks my fucking heart.

 

I need a hug. I keep getting the shit end of the stick on everything I try to do at work today. Literally everything is a struggle and I want to cry.

And those fucking prozac headaches aren't helping. My head is killing me.

 

Hopefully she finds an outlet to help - maybe that's the best place for her right now?

 

She was in the hospital for a week last time (which was only about a month ago) so now god only knows how long its going to be this time. I just pray they actually fucking help her this time. she's my best friend and like a sister to me. I'd be lost without her.

 

and I mean, for Christ Sake, she's the reason I fell in love with The 1975.

 

There was about a year and a half span where my mom would be taken to the hospital for this every 2-3 months. Honestly after a few times it really seemed like the workers were just going through the motions with her so they could send her out again. It was really stressful and it made me feel helpless. I know that it's really hard but as long as you are there for her you're doing all you can do. Sending positive vibes.

 

I think I'm good at understanding people's thought processes and why they do what they do and where they're coming from. I'm typically fairly observant and can read situations but at the same time I'm really bad at it? Like I understand other people in a social context but when I place myself in that context I'm clueless and unaware of myself and what I'm putting out there. I don't know if this makes sense. It makes me anxious. I need reminders and help getting through social situations sometimes and often if I'm doing something weird or awkward I need to be told in order to realize it and stop, whereas I think most people would just realize they were being weird. idk, I feel like if I can observe other people well I should be able to apply some of that to myself and model the behavior, but there's a disconnect and idk why.

 

Just found out that a friend who had the same surgery I did is having the shittiest time recovering (after having a bunch of other issues before surgery). I'm pretty scared for her and kind of regretful that I have had what feels like an easy time (objectively not easy, but it feels easy).

And this brought a much-needed smile to my face this evening. Hopefully it makes others feel better.

 

How I look like trying to get up the back of a pick up truck.

Made me chuckle. :)

 

Today my thesis group did photos for our Go Fund Me page and I just got the pictures in and... I don't know, it's kind of rough seeing myself in a picture? There are a lot of factors involved that I'm not sure if I'm ready to articulate but I just feel so unattractive and I feel like my unhappiness is physically visible in even a basic portrait.

Mostly just feeling kind of down about myself and how I look to the world, it's hard.

 

I don't understand how people put shit aside on bad days and just get stuff done. It was hard to just get out of bed to go to the bathroom. Now my lunch is over and I have to work for another four hours and I don't know how I'm going to push through. Ugh.