Mental Health Thread • Page 441

I don't have friends near me anymore. It sucks. I fucking hate it.

 

I'm completely bored with life.

 

I don’t think some people realize how depressing it is to be alone

 

It's fucking horrible sometimes. Like truly, truly awful.

 

To have no one by your side when you need someone the most really sucks. It’s painful.

 

It's rough. Making all the decisions on your own, no one to celebrate things with, no one to lean on when things are bad, no laughter or joy with small simple daily things, just emptiness and yourself.

I truly don't think people know how fortunate they are to be with someone.

 

I don't know what to do

At all

About anything

I'm spiraling

 

So almost unbelievably, my dad was attacked by the same dog yesterday morning. We woke up the the exact same phone call with the roles reversed, my mom hysterical just saying "the dog attacked dad and it's really, really bad." I...just kind of shut down. I don't know what happened. Disassociation, maybe? Called my brother and he was going off angrily and I had to hang up because I just couldn't go through these emotions again. I really calmly thought, "Well, my dad might die today."

I didn't have any details at the time, but after a 10-day quarantine, on day 11, that neighbor let the dog out AGAIN and it was on my parents' fucking porch when they were walking out to the car to go to church. My dad put his arm up and fortunately it only got his arm. Severe puncture wounds to the tendons and a fractured wrist. The first thing he said when I got to the ER was "I'm sorry for ruining mother's day," which broke me because I DO THE EXACT SAME THING w/r/t beating myself up and I'm finally seeing where it comes from. They had to put a plate in his wrist and he's staying two days on IV antibiotics.

Between two dog attacks and my cat needing surgery within 12 days, I am upset, scared, angry, tired, and kind of numb. I had to take some more time off work this week just due to stress. I really feel like I did something to cause all of this, or that I died at some point and am in Hell. It's made me angry at God, if there is one. Why do bad things happen to good people at all? What is the benefit of both of my parents and their kids struggling? I can say I'm thankful neither of them have permanent physical damage, or that I'm thankful so many have donated to our GoFundMe (because I truly am), but if someone really is in charge of all this, why let it happen in the first place?

Sorry for the long post. It's been an absolutely hellish and fucked two weeks and I truly don't know what to do with myself. Feel like I'm going insane a little bit.

 

Damn that is awful, sorry that happened to them. The liability of that dog owner has to be enormous.
My brother’s wife got bit by their neighbor’s dog. The dog gets out a lot and is aggressive and the dog warden was called multiple times before it happened. PA has dangerous dog laws and the guy got fined quite a bit.

 

I fucking hate owners like that. Disgusting.

 

Yeah, from what I know he's been charged twice now with failure to maintain his animal and once for obstruction of justice (he straight-up lied to the police and said the incident with my mom didn't happen when he wasn't even there, thankfully his wife was honest with the police). My parents are conflicted about how far to push criminal and civil action because they are good people who don't like the idea of being vengeful, but like...this guy obviously doesn't care about other people. That concern is not enough for him to change his behavior and become more responsible. There needs to be some kind of tangible consequence to keep this from ever happening again. He seems to value his money and reputation and maybe his time, so that's where the consequence needs to be in my opinion.

My parents also feel conflicted about him seeing any jail time, but considering the pain I saw both of them go through in the past two weeks and everything my brother and I have had to do to keep from falling apart, I think a little jail time would be pretty merciful. He's on the school board for the district my mom worked at (she was supposed to/will retire next month) and I fully intend on writing them a letter.

I know the state cops came and took the dog this time, which likely means he was put down. And my parents weren't advocating for that, but it wasn't up to them. Their problem is with the owner who has let his animals run loose on their street for 15 years, not the animals themselves. Personally, even as an animal lover...after hearing the same dog was growling at children in neighbors' yards and other people walking on our road, I feel the dog may have been beyond fixing. I know that may be a polarizing opinion, but it's where I'm at after the past two weeks.

 

It's the owner's fault. Even if the dog was initially aggressive as a puppy or just naturally had that sort of disposition it was the owner's responsibility to not let that dog harm other people. I genuinely feel bad for the dog because it doesn't know what the hell is going on and had to get its life taken away because its owner is a massive piece of shit.

You and your family seem like good people and I completely understand not wanting to be petty, vengeful or spiteful, but they absolutely would not be any of those things in this situation. This guy is has lied to the police and his actions have injured multiple people all the while he's on the school board which seems absurd to me that he has any business guiding people in any capacity.

Sorry, maybe you don't want my two cents. Things like this bother me so much because it's people like this who walk through life with no care for people or other living things that infuriates me. It's legitimately part of why my mental health is so bad because people like this exist and don't get held accountable for their actions.

I hope you and your family find your way through this awful ordeal and come out stronger on the other side. Y'all seem like nice folks.

 

I really wish I had someone to talk to about what I want to talk about rn instead of having to wait until this weekend to talk to my therapist

 

No, I appreciate the response. It's always helpful to know you're not as crazy as you think you are, or at least not overreacting. Everyone in here deserves to not struggle the way they are and I hope that everyone can find peace in time. It's nice to know I'm at least in good company.

 

Feeling this everyday

 

I just feel stuck and my life is increasingly more empty

 

I don't want to spam this thread, but my wife just called crying, and this is the update on our sweet boy:

"Boo was supposed to come home yesterday, but failed to pee on his own without the catheter. After eight days at the Millcreek Animal Hospital, they have decided to re-insert the catheter and keep him another four-five days. If he still fails to pee on his own after this, they said we may need to take him back to where he originally had his surgery so they can widen his urethra, but considering that's the place that somewhat botched his healing process in the first place, we're not sure we trust them and may need to look into alternative options. Fortunately, Millcreek has been great with us and worked with us to cut our costs with them specifically in about half, which is extremely helpful as we are still nearing 3k out of pocket.

...We are struggling. Every time I turn around, something horrible happens to someone I love. I am convinced I am either cursed or being punished for something, but that is neither here nor there. I am doing my best to get Jess through this while attempting to hold myself together, whatever that means. We can't in good conscience really ask for more money considering how wonderful and generous and supportive you have all been, but if there's somewhere you haven't shared this or someone you know that may be able to chip in, it would really help us to worry a little bit less about how we're going to pay for all of this. We miss him so much and will do anything to get him back home, happy and healing.

As always, any and all good vibes are appreciated. I can't think of a time I've needed them more."

Going to share this again just in case; I don't expect anything, but I appreciate anything that comes our way, even if it's just good vibes. Love you all.

https://gofund.me/fb5fab8d

 

I'm so depressed wondering if my cat thinks I abandoned him at the vet. Tomorrow will be day nine with a few more to go. I can only pray that he can pee and we get to bring him home then. I'd like to try and visit him again if I can and maybe leave something with my scent for him. I've reached a point where I just cry in like three-five minute spurts, and then go totally numb.

 

(I can take care of that spam when I'm on my laptop)

 

If you figure out how to get out of this please tell me thank you very much

 

Lots of updates about the dog that bit my parents and what they're going through, but I don't want to take over or spam this thread, so instead I'll say Boo gets his catheter out this morning and whether or not he pees on his own determines whether he can come home or will need a second surgery, so if any of you are religious or spiritual, we are accepting all prayers/spells/good vibes right now

 

POV my work: “we want people to take care of them selves” but then “you’re not going to schedule an appt when you know you have to work”

 

It's officially been a year since I started my job search. And all I have to show for it is rejection email after rejection email after rejection email. I'm tired and burned out and hate this fucking shit. I feel like I'll never find another job in this hellscape economy. I still have a job rn thankfully but it has a probably timer to it and I need to not feel like i'm drowning financially.

 

My wife and I worked so hard to get ourselves moved out of Arizona in 2022 to do something different with our lives that felt fun and exciting. We chose Portland not because we necessarily were in love with the city, but because we like this region of the country and its the only location my company would *allow* me to live in because they are completely against full time WFH. Well one year into living here they announce they’re shutting down my office and I need to be back in Arizona in three months or lose my job. I just don’t fucking get how they can do this to people. We bought a house! We got a dog! We’re like just finally starting to feel actually settled in, and because some pigs at the top want to penny pinch, I get to suffer. I genuinely thought I would be able to land a new job in three months and stay here, but the job market is so much more fucked than I imagined it being (I’ve been with this company for 11 years, job hunting hasn’t been a concern for me in a long long time).

Anyway now I get to move back to Arizona next month on my own with a suitcase of clothes to live with my mom just before the hottest time of the fucking year so I can commute to an office with literally ONE co-worker for four hours a day, three days a week. My wife has to stay here alone because her job is local, so moving means we lose her income. We also can’t sell our house before the end of the year unless we want to get hit with considerable capital gains taxes.

Sorry for the rant - after yet another rejection letter today it’s just hitting me that this is more of a reality than I’ve been pretending it is for the last couple of months. One life on this planet and Mr. Bank Corp gets to decide how it’s gonna go. I feel absolutely defeated