Mental Health Thread • Page 438

My BIL has cancer for the 3rd time and he's maxed out his transplants so he can't get another and just has to do chemo. Obv the first round of cancer we were shocked. The 2nd time was awful but I think we were all aware it can happen. The 3rd time by age 32 feels cruel and everyone feels less optimistic this time around. My nephew is also old enough to be aware now. He doesn't remember the other times because he was too little. They had to sit down and tell my nephew the other day. The thought of my nephew upset saying that he doesn't want his dad to die is so devastating to me I can't even fully process it. It adds a weird layer now that my BIL and sister are divorced. I've never fallen out with my BIL over it. I've known him half my life and it all feels wrong. I've been so upset by it I worked from home Monday and today I went in but it was hard to focus. I'm just not in the mood and it all feels trivial.

 

you're allowed a max number of transplants?!

 

Apparently! I guess he capped out at two. It may be case by case but I think the more you have it can increase complications and I wonder if his cancer this time around is too aggressive. The prior transplants were really hard on him. His graft vs host disease with the previous transplants were pretty rough

 

I really wish I had someone to talk to rn ):

 

Debating not taking my sleeping pill because I'd rather be tired than sad.

 

A friend of mine has a daughter that needed a kidney transplant and I remember her telling us about how you can’t just keep trying to get an organ transplant to work. Apparently, most receivers of the transplant have a max amount of attempts because at some point the numbers show a pattern of the transplant failing/diminishing returns and the medical world kind of sees it as, “why should we keep giving good organs to a ‘bad host’ instead of the next person on the list that needs one”.

as cruel and cold as it comes across I kind of get it but there’s also so many variables at play with a transplant and not every organ works with everyone else, which is part of why transplant lists are so long and why so many people never even get one. But is it “fair” to try a 30th transplant attempt on someone where the other 29 attempts failed vs using those organs on 29 other people? It’s always so weird to me how we treat the human body like a machine or literally anything other than a person.

 

Man, the weight gain with Olanzapine has been shjtty and feels like double the "punishment". I'm managing it now cause of double gym work/experience over time but there's still days I feel like not taking it. Obviously this wouldn't be a good idea but still.

 

Kiana, I'm so so sorry to read about this. That's an awful situation to be in. Your nephew is lucky to have you and the rest of his family.

 

Called for an appt with psych for a “re assessment”. I told them I wanted to speak with a psychiatric doctor. Phone appt is Friday. Last time I had to wait two weeks for a phone appt.

 

Feeling very low and unoptimistic about my future tonight. just feeling like shit.

 

What's up? I think this group in here is pretty cool and I don't want to speak for everyone but you can reach out if you need to

 

This is where I've been for the past two years. I'm wishing you the best.

 

I think everyone can tell from my posts I've been in an awful state lately, but seeing everyone else also in bad states gives me an odd sense of comfort. Not because I want anyone to be in a bad place but because from what I've seen on here none of you seem like bad people. Y'all seem like pretty empathetic, understanding, good folks who just want to live a "normal" and healthy life. So it makes me feel less shitty about it being my fault or just me. I hope some of you understand what I mean and hope that you all get out of the shitty spots you're all in because you definitely don't deserve the crap.

 

I get this. And I think most would too. It’s kind of like when I’m down or feeling shitty I want to listen to music that “complements” that feeling. Same for when things are going good or I’m feeling good, so I definitely get it and honestly have used this thread at times to kind of reassess myself and remember I’m not the only one feeling like I’m in a funk or that shit sucks.

Good plot for a horror movie would be having the main character feel like shit / down in the dumps and have literally everyone else they encounter in the 90-120 minute runtime be in a great mood and happy as can be

 

I’ve just been going through a lot lately and all at once. Don’t really want to post the details here

 

Completely understand. Feel free to reach out if you need to. Wish you the best.

 

As someone who has experienced everything happening all at the same time, I can empathize with how awful it can be.

 

On top of struggling, I’m also just absolutely awful at dealing with my cat rn. I overanalyze every little thing she does as a sign something might be wrong. She had some issues between late December and late April and it’s wrecked me lol.

like tonight she didn’t finish her food and here I sit fretting over it despite the fact I didn’t learn that until after she had some treats and the rest of tonight anytime I went around her food area she followed me. So she’s likely fine but here I am wondering. It’s exhausting.

 

I just started having an anxiety attack because of my fear of death. I don't want to die. It terffies me. I don't want absolute nothingness forever.

Someone help me.

 

I have been having this too but in the way that I'm having the realization I won't have forever to work on myself. Like my brain seems to think ill have forever to undo harmful thought processes, learn about various subjects and develop new skills, improve my physical health, figure out if I really want kids or not, figure out how to defeat my acne, just continuous improvement in general, etc. But I don't. Because even death aside some of those things become biologically impossible with age. Wrapping my head around that lately has me feeling so anxious. So not only is death freaking me out, but also the slow gradual decline that often happens before death.

 

I’ve had those episodes here and there for most of my adult life, but I recently went through a stretch where it happened daily for probably three weeks straight, usually at night. Waking up crying some nights. It got so bad I started asking my loved ones if the thoughts I was having were even normal. Honestly still coming off of it a bit, but it has receded somewhat this week, thankfully. It has made me re-consider finally taking the financial hit of going to therapy

The *only* thing that has ever seemed to help with any relative consistency is making an effort to do things that make me happy or fulfilled - so I’m trying to get back into making music again since I’ve been neglecting that for well over a year now. I think getting a dog has helped too, because distant fears seem less concerning when I know I’ve got a lil guy I need to take care of (also probably why I assume some people have kids lol - like a “sense of purpose” thing).

Idk if any of this is possible for you or if it makes sense or if I’m just out here rambling, but just know you’re not alone in that fear even though it can feel extremely isolating! It’s a weird feeling to be so paralyzed by something we can’t even realistically comprehend, but the permanence of it all really does scare the absolute shit out of me too.

 

https://gofund.me/fa4cbfbf

Hey everyone. I don't like asking for money, but long story short, my cat needs a second urinary blockage removed on top of potential surgery. We can use our savings to pay for the first part, but it's really not sustainable. (I will go broke before I "say goodbye" to my five-year-old cat as one vet callously suggested.) I know times are tough and money is tight, but if you have anything to spare or would even consider sharing this campaign, that would be hugely helpful.

This all happened after my mom was severely attacked by a neighbor's dog this morning, so I went straight from the ER to the vet. It has been one of the worst days of my life. Might not be around for a little bit. Thank you in advance for anything you may be able to do, I appreciate you all

 

Keep your head up dude. Hoping for the best for your family.

 

So many frigging health issues is just really taking a toll on me mentally.

Sprained my ankle 6 weeks ago, only was just able to return to the office this week because I couldn't drive. Still have to wear a brace in my shoe and go to PT weekly.

Bottom of my feet have been kind of numb for like 10 days now. Podiatrist thinks neuropathy either from prediabetes (my glucose is very high), or B12 issues.

Just got my hormones checked because I've been having strange symptoms. I have practically no testosterone in my body, but my estrogen and prolactin is through the roof. Explains why I've been crying so much out of nowhere lately among other issues haha. Maybe also explains how I gained 100 lbs in a year and cannot lose any weight for the life of me.

Signs of a bleeding ulcer after doctor confirmed iron deficient anemia from blood work, getting a colonoscopy and endoscopy on Monday.

That doesn't even scratch the surface, those are just the big ones. Would love to know what the hell is going on with me other than treating symptoms here and there. Also tired of working until 7 every single day to make up for missed hours from appointments

 

I find myself getting more and more irritated at work. Things that I feel like aren’t a big deal make me so frustrated that I want to cry. I’m trying to get my health figured out before I leave and lose my insurance. I can’t do this anymore. Things just get worse at work. They don’t care about you and give you more and more work to do with no extra pay. And basically tell you “too bad” when you say something about the workload