Thank god for drugs. I've only had a few panic attacks and I swear I could see the white light bc I just knew I was dying.
Yeah, my dad tends to stay home a lot and I'm actually thinking I'm going to check in on him in the next couple of days, since he hasn't wanted to do anything for a while. We're soooo similar in personality and coping mechanisms. It's kinda scary sometimes lol. Sister is doing well, though! I think she's been pretty stable for the last couple of months, thank goodness. I'm definitely glad your dad is doing better, too! I really do hate how little this stuff is talked about within families. It makes life so difficult when people don't understand and feel ashamed for things they can't control. :( *hugs*
haha my mom does the same thing. She says "it'll be fine!" and it's like okay I know that logically, but in anxiety mode logic kinda flies out the window and it doesn't matter that I know it'll be okay, cause it doesn't feel like that in the moment! My mom is kinda like me tho in the sense that we're both bad at comforting others, so maybe I should be less hard on her lol
yeah I'm bad at comforting people too, like I never know what to say when someone tells me they're feeling depressed
I am the worst ever at comforting people. I just sit there and panic because I am shit with words so I end up just saying sorry a lot and kinda patting them lol And I always feel weird when I'm upset because when people try and comfort me I push them away because I hate crying in front of people or being vulnerable. But if no one comforts me and just let's me be alone then I think everyone hates me so basically there is no pleasing me when I am upset lol
People say that all you need to do is listen, but naw! You gotta add things here and there. Like you can't just silently listen. And I'm bad at that part. A coworker confided in me about her dad cheating on her mom and was calling the mistress a whore and stuff and I was like omg what do I do?????
My BFF and I have the perfect strategy of comforting one another bc we're real bad at it. Silence and head in lap while playing with whoever is depressed's hair. My sister is who I cry with and if it's someone I'm not close with I awkwardly pat shoulders and throw in the occasional word.
Louis CK is a loaded topic and I always feel super mixed when I see clips of him, but I thought this was relevant and a great discussion:
Speaking of comedians, I always like watching Bo Burnham interviews because he seems kinda awkward and fidgety which is how I feel when I have conversations, and how I probably look lol
I don't know what's wrong with me. I never like anything anyone else likes. Especially comedians. I love Louis CK but he's a creep so I don't pay much attention to him anymore. Bo Burnham is awful to me lol
I have always hated Louis. Hate his standup and hate his show. I tried, but he's always given me the creeps. I'm not a huge standup person. I really like Mitch Herberg but I'm not big in the genre. Always felt like a boys club full of whiny men ironically whining about ppl being too sensitive as they cry any time they get criticism. Seems like its gotten a bit better but any time a straight white male brings up comedy I brace myself lol #SorryStraightWhiteMen
I mostly only enjoy Louis in his late night spots where he's talking to Conan. There it seems to be less of his normal stuff and more things about life in general. That said, he is a massive creep. That's absolutely understandable. Perhaps the comedian I connect with the most that I would recommend to others is Simon Amstell. I think his specials Do Nothing and Numb (which I can't find on youtube anymore) are wonderful pieces of comedy, nearly all of which is about introspection and finding out how to deal with one's self.
Jim Gaffigan and Mike Birbiglia are definitely the most pleasant comedians, like I can't picture anyone hating them though I get it with Louie and Patton who are funny but have said some things that make my eyes roll out of my head
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it! Mitch was so cute
I sometimes wonder if my depression would get better if I worked a different job. I deal with so many stupid people and stupid questions and stupid policies and stupid metrics every day that I can't help but hate it. It's so weird to hate a large portion of my day.
Mom, our aunt, and I went to see my brother today in the hospital. Good news, he's being discharged after lunch tomorrow and that ECT is decided against after seeing that the combination of Prozac and Wellbutrin has him feeling like he's mostly normal again.