Mental Health Thread • Page 427

I overheard my bf talking on the phone and sounding legitimately happy for their success and I was like oh... is that what we're supposed to do instead of feeling secretly resentful because I'm in a competition that only I know about with others where I want to have a cooler life than everyone even tho I don't do anything or put forth effort to actively have a cool or interesting life. I call it Romy and Michele syndrome except without the personal growth at the end

 

This is the worst day I’ve had in a long long time.

 

How are you today?

 

Better.

A pothole gave me a flat tire at 1:00. I never learned how to change a tire, so I called AAA and they said they’d be there at 5:20. At 5:00, they changed their ETA to 10:00. I said fuck it, and looked up in the car manual how to change it. I couldn’t get the lug nuts off the tire because they were on so tight. Someone saw me and helped, but it was so fucking embarrassing.

 

I’ve been there dude. I once had to sit on the side of a turnpike in August heat waiting for my dad to come help me change a tire.

 

Omg I used to know how to change tires but never had to do it so I know I couldn't do it now. But even when I was taught and knew how to, I could never get the lug nuts off myself. It's so humbling and a helpless feeling. Glad someone was able to help!

 

I also didn't know how to change a tire for the longest time and did it in the wrong order and almost fucked myself, but it all worked out. Things like this happen, but you did it and someone was nice enough to help! I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm glad you're doing better.

 

Hopefully this story gives you a chuckle.

I once had a super attractive woman ask for help jump starting her car as I was leaving a store.

I instantly said yes, hopped in my car and drove over to hers. As I parked, I realized I may not even have jumper cables and more importantly, I had never even fucking looked under the hood of my car.

I get out, I pop the hood and I stare blankly at a bunch of shit that doesn’t look anything familiar to me lol. As it turned out, I learned the next day that my car had a “cover” over the engine so it looks “nicer”.

At the time I did not know that and as the attractive woman asked if I knew what to do, I slowly shook my head no and thankfully someone else must have seen my look of confusion and offered to help and I bolted as quick as I could lol

 

Lmao I've jumped so many people's cars before. I always feel like such a boss when I do it. It's the one thing I know how to do because before I got a fancy car that beeps if I leave my lights on, I used to leave them on a LOT. I recently got to help two girls in the Target parking lot and I was like yes sisterhood I got u!!

 

Had a similar experience lol. My car hid the battery underneath a cover and someone asked for a jump and they had cables. Neither of us knew what to do so I left feeling embarrassed

 

You had to wait 9 hours!??!

 

I didn’t. At 5, I just did it myself.

 

That’s still a long time to wait for a tire change. Even tho you decided to do it yourself

 

It's hard dealing with jealousy and insecurities. I'm aware and smart enough to not put it onto others, but it still eats at me on the inside and I really hate that about myself. I wish I were someone who just didn't care, but I do and I'm trying really hard to work on that.

 

I hate feeling like a failure. The fact that I don’t make enough to support myself is not where I ever thought I’d be in my 30s

 

I feel like making a patreon just to afford groceries sometimes

 

kinda want to tell my work i want to kms and its because they not paying me enough

 

Crazy that our culture is so fucked up that if we express this it will only make things 10x more difficult for us instead of them rectifying the problem lol

 

then i see the president and shit and i'm like, yeah i'm doing fine, like motherfucker i wanna rob you

 

Being a single parent and lonely honestly just sucks

 

Sorry to jump in, but i dont really always know how to respond and i need to vent as im feeling rough lately and this seems like a safe space.

My wife and i (late 30's) arent having kids (without details, thats 100% settled), and were in a state without close family, but we do have decent friends. However, i feel lost and directionless and bored and depressed at the thought of the rest of life. I hate my job that ive been at for 13 years and feel loyalty to stay here and a sense of imposter syndrome preventing me from changing. I make good money, but lifes so expensive and we've done some reckless travelling the last few years so i feel broke now and were cutting back. Part of me says that no one will rely on me in the future, so be reckless, but when i look at the money i have, and no house, i feel the biggest sense of dissapointment and shame - like where did i piss it all away but then again, if i had more money for what?

I have no hobbies and most of my fun revolves around drinking and being high which i struggle with and know is too excessive, and im starting to feel im aging out of the activities i enjoy - concerts, bars, festivals etc.

Basically, as i age out of the things i enjoy and no prospects to replace them, and a job i hate, i cant see how life will remain interesting if that makes sense? I didnt want kids for many reasons, but part of me is envious at the direction and change a family provides. Without that, whats to keep things fresh? The only thing that does break up that feeling is travel which i cant afford to keep up with and drinking and living a lifestyle i should grow up from. But what that is i dont know, and it leaves me feeling bleak most days.

10 years from now will it be the same boring job, same apartment, same city and same pattern of spend too much to be happy for 2 weeks then plod on by till ive financially recovered to break up the boredom again, while abusing my body in between.

 

in the company wide meeting hearing about how we've improved on wages. i had to jump the turnstile this week to get to work.

 

All my friends are getting married and having kids at the exact same time and some of them are people I had no idea they even wanted either of those things. I already don't see them as it is and now I see them less. It certainly makes me feel like I'm missing out on the "next step" of life as if that's what it should be.

Some people do it to keep things fresh and give themselves direction as if they have no other options as an adult, but other people do it because they legitimately love the idea of having a family and I very much struggle with both things. I'm in the same boat as you, I fear what's next and I feel empty. I don't know what makes me want to continue living if the rest of life is just...this. But there's a tiny little thing in my brain that says there's something else out there.

If you've been at your job that long, there's a very real possibility you can find another job and get a pay raise based on your experience. You are not defined by your job or whether or not you own a house of your own. Get a better job, spend that money on what makes you two happy and keep some in your pocket for emergencies. Fuck everything else. Following what you love to do such as travel will get you the experiences and friendships you've been seeking.

As for the drinking and getting high, I can't relate unfortunately, but I sympathize as I feel my void with other distractions. Outgrowing stuff is totally natural and it also doesn't mean you won't ever fall back into them. I don't like going to concerts anymore. People are dicks and they're expensive sometimes and parking and so on and so forth. But you can find activities that replace these that will also reinforce a better mindset that will hopefully pull you away from drinking and such.

The best part of this is that you have a partner and if she's understanding of how you feel you don't have to tackle all this alone.

I'm wishing you the best.

 

You are very kind and thank you for this (plus to others who threw a like out). My wife is encouraging and has had her own issues that she has managed / manages, and is encouraging me to do the same (gym, healtheir habits, therapy, trying new hobbies activities etc. Its motivating and depressing at this time of the year as its the time to make change and start fresh, but it also feels corny to do it just because of the new year / new me aspect.

Also i understand i am privileged in a lot of regards but that doesnt always help the dark thoughts on rough days. Hope i didnt derail or overshadow any other conversations / concerns in here.

 

You absolutely did not derail or overshadow. I'm pretty sure we all try our best to give as much attention as we can to everyone's posts but that's also very hard to do. Everyone has lives and doesn't check this thread all the time/have the emotional energy at the end of the day to respond properly. Anyway, you're all good.

The other thing is that you're aware of being privileged and even if you are that doesn't take away from your feelings and how your brain interprets things. Your issues are valid and your troubles are part of your life. Comparison of pain helps no one. You can tell your brain "I'm privileged so I shouldn't be feeling this way!" but that's not how that works.

I'm glad your wife is working on/works on herself. Having a partner who actively wants to work with you must make you feel a bit more at ease. I agree with the sentiment about the new year new me mentality. The new year doesn't mean anything. It's just another day. But it can be good to use as a sort of marker to say to yourself "I started here and six months later look at me" and having a concrete date or a forced feeling of renewal with a new calendar year. It's never worked for me, but I know it does for some.

I'm pretty horrible anxious and depressed all the time. It makes my life considerably uncomfortable for me and the people around me, but I focus on what I can at the time and I make improvements as I go. I'm never going to be able to make all these improvements or changes all at once and it is probably harmful to take that much on. I would suggest just finding one or two smaller aspects of your life that you want more control over and finding some happiness with something new. And just start looking at job listings or writing down a pros and cons list of stuff you do and don't like about what you want from a workplace if you truly do want to leave and find something new. I know a lot of people who can just up and leave jobs and have done it multiple times over the past few years, find a better job each time, but some people can't do that. I'm very afraid of losing what I already have on gambling on an unknown quantity. But you and your wife have each other and will figure it out together.

I hope I didn't overstep any bounds or give too much of my own advice. I'm trying to be supportive and all of this is just my thoughts as someone who is in a very similar position to you. Take any of it you want!